What would Morrissey Advertise?

[Velvis]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7901003.stm

This BBC story, about music stars in advertising caught my eye.

Excerpt: But, she says: "If Morrissey was on an ad, that would appal me. It's not that he's as pure as the driven snow, but there's a kind of integrity. He's a commercial refusenik." And, crucially, she's a fan.


Iggy Pop advertises insurance, Johnny Rotten advertises butter...

LOOK, I KNOW HE WOULDN'T - OK...

...But if he did, what product would Morrissey advertise?

 

[Theo]

There's a watch ad in the liner notes of "Years of Refusal". (Yet no kind words to Jerry Finn.)

 

[The Cat's Mother]

I think Morrissey could be called upon to revitalise some classic TV ads, like Shackletons High Seat Chairs, Shake'n'Vac, Cadbury's Smash, Ferrero Rocher and those slightly suggestive Flake ads.

"My niece got this from Shackletons, you know....."

 

[jesuisbryony]

Stair lifts, he'll be the new Thora Hird.

 

[Quiffaa]

his favourite music, singers, poets, dramatists etc.

Same he ever did.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

Stair lifts, he'll be the new Thora Hird.

That's a corker, but it'll have to wait until he's about 80, so he can rip down the stairs in his Stannah, plonk down into his Shackletons and recite an interminable voiceover for the TimeLife twenty-CD collection of his Complete Works. (Is there no end to Morrissey's talents? )


EDIT: Don't forget that someone's going to have to take over the All Bran ads from Shatner, eventually.

 

[Drew a swallow]

Peter, when I originally heard that butter comment on The One Show I thought it was Noel Gallagher. You sound remarkably similar to him.

 

[nowherefast944]

what about his involvement in the NFL commercials? surely someone would have raised a stink about them

 

[Deego]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXADRAcAV8g

 

[mozfish]

interflora.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

Those Herbals Essences "organic experience" shampoo adverts.

 

[Uncleskinny]

Peter, when I originally heard that butter comment on The One Show I thought it was Noel Gallagher. You sound remarkably similar to him.

And guess what? My eyebrows are going the same way. It comes to us all. Those stray, wayward, unruly, thicker, angular eybrow-hairs. The bastards.

As for adverts - now don't laugh here, I always imagined Morrissey saying "It's Vortex" at the end of this classic shitty 80s advert, but in his eyebrow raised, deep-brown voice manner...




Peter

 

[mozfish]

Those Herbals Essences "organic experience" shampoo adverts.

peta would throw him out! herbal essence are proctor and gamble.
he could do a naked 'quorn and 2 veg' ad.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

And guess what? My eyebrows are going the same way. It comes to us all. Those stray, wayward, unruly, thicker, angular eybrow-hairs. The bastards.

As for adverts - now don't laugh here, I always imagined Morrissey saying "It's Vortex" at the end of this classic shitty 80s advert, but in his eyebrow raised, deep-brown voice manner...




Peter

They had to change the end of that to "That's a scientist's view", didn't they? I'll get me anorak....

Your voice-over suggestion would certainly be an improvement, although the idea of a "deep-brown" voice on a loo-cleaner advert.....

Morrissey could be the new Green Cross Man, herding gormless schoolkids across the road with a look of pure martyrdom across his brow. Or how about the new face of Claims Direct?

 

[The Cat's Mother]

peta would throw him out! herbal essence are proctor and gamble.

What about "Wash 'n' Go" Then? ("take two guitarists into the shower? Not me. I just Wash 'n' Go....")

 

[prisoner77]

Claims direct would be good..Had an accident at work..tough, don't work paint.

 

[Uncleskinny]

They had to change the end of that to "That's a scientist's view", didn't they? I'll get me anorak....

Your voice-over suggestion would certainly be an improvement, although the idea of a "deep-brown" voice on a loo-cleaner advert.....

Morrissey could be the new Green Cross Man, herding gormless schoolkids across the road with a look of pure martyrdom across his brow. Or how about the new face of Claims Direct?

Claims direct, you say?



Peter

 

[The Cat's Mother]

Claims direct, you say?



Peter

At least they didn't send round Carol Vordeman.

Ooh, how about those uncomfortably anthropomorphic Dogs Trust appeals.?

 

[Absurd]

Hair stuff.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

The Happy World of Haribo.