What would Morrissey Advertise?

Velvis

Not a beginner
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7901003.stm

This BBC story, about music stars in advertising caught my eye.

Excerpt: But, she says: "If Morrissey was on an ad, that would appal me. It's not that he's as pure as the driven snow, but there's a kind of integrity. He's a commercial refusenik." And, crucially, she's a fan.


Iggy Pop advertises insurance, Johnny Rotten advertises butter...

LOOK, I KNOW HE WOULDN'T - OK...

...But if he did, what product would Morrissey advertise?
 

Theo

Active Member
There's a watch ad in the liner notes of "Years of Refusal". (Yet no kind words to Jerry Finn.)
 

The Cat's Mother

Unmentionable
I think Morrissey could be called upon to revitalise some classic TV ads, like Shackletons High Seat Chairs, Shake'n'Vac, Cadbury's Smash, Ferrero Rocher and those slightly suggestive Flake ads.

"My niece got this from Shackletons, you know....."
 

The Cat's Mother

Unmentionable
Stair lifts, he'll be the new Thora Hird. :)

That's a corker, but it'll have to wait until he's about 80, so he can rip down the stairs in his Stannah, plonk down into his Shackletons and recite an interminable voiceover for the TimeLife twenty-CD collection of his Complete Works. (Is there no end to Morrissey's talents? :D)


EDIT: Don't forget that someone's going to have to take over the All Bran ads from Shatner, eventually.
 
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Drew a swallow

deep and blue
Peter, when I originally heard that butter comment on The One Show I thought it was Noel Gallagher. You sound remarkably similar to him.
 

Uncleskinny

It's all good
Subscriber
Peter, when I originally heard that butter comment on The One Show I thought it was Noel Gallagher. You sound remarkably similar to him.

And guess what? My eyebrows are going the same way. It comes to us all. Those stray, wayward, unruly, thicker, angular eybrow-hairs. The bastards.

As for adverts - now don't laugh here, I always imagined Morrissey saying "It's Vortex" at the end of this classic shitty 80s advert, but in his eyebrow raised, deep-brown voice manner...



Peter
 
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The Cat's Mother

Unmentionable
And guess what? My eyebrows are going the same way. It comes to us all. Those stray, wayward, unruly, thicker, angular eybrow-hairs. The bastards.

As for adverts - now don't laugh here, I always imagined Morrissey saying "It's Vortex" at the end of this classic shitty 80s advert, but in his eyebrow raised, deep-brown voice manner...



Peter

They had to change the end of that to "That's a scientist's view", didn't they? I'll get me anorak....

Your voice-over suggestion would certainly be an improvement, although the idea of a "deep-brown" voice on a loo-cleaner advert..... :squiffy:

Morrissey could be the new Green Cross Man, herding gormless schoolkids across the road with a look of pure martyrdom across his brow. Or how about the new face of Claims Direct?
 
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prisoner77

Member
Claims direct would be good..Had an accident at work..tough, don't work paint.
 

Uncleskinny

It's all good
Subscriber
They had to change the end of that to "That's a scientist's view", didn't they? I'll get me anorak....

Your voice-over suggestion would certainly be an improvement, although the idea of a "deep-brown" voice on a loo-cleaner advert..... :squiffy:

Morrissey could be the new Green Cross Man, herding gormless schoolkids across the road with a look of pure martyrdom across his brow. Or how about the new face of Claims Direct?

Claims direct, you say?


Peter
 
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