What would be your 'Open Letter To Morrissey'

A

Anonymous

Guest
Dear Morrissey,

I was going to write you an open letter, but I cancelled at the last minute.

Yours,
Anonymous.
 

Peppermint

Well-Known Member
Dear Morrissey
Well, that went well, didn't it? Have you worked it out yet? Your core audience is left wing, and they're really cross. What's that? You didn't know? Oh, Morrissey *sigh* They have been really tolerant over the years. They bit their tongues when you grossly insulted the entire Chinese population. They stuck by you when you made tasteless remarks about the Norway killings. They even took it on the chin when you acted like a complete twat after the Paris atrocity. But they drew the line at the dodgy ramblings of Anne Marie Waters. Morrissey, you have crossed the Rubicon.

Of course you can have a different point of view to the multitudes in the Twittersphere. But not if you want them to buy your concert tickets and shit albums in any large number. There's your dilemma: self-styled Arbiter of Truth and mouthpiece for a shonky political party; or poet for the lonely and dispossessed. The two are not, I am afraid, compatible.

So unless you want to be permanently playing South America for the rest of your life, here are a few suggestions.

1. Say sorry
2. Invite Dave Haslam over for cauliflower cheese - and get the Guardian along to take photos
3. Sack your band
4. Hire some new musicians who might challenge you with some decent music
5. Take some time out to write some decent songs - none of this 'We turn up to the studio and it's all cobbled together by lunchtime' malarkey
6. Lay off the vodka and get out more
7. Call Johnny Marr. He's still really good on the guitar but he can't write a song to save his arse. I feel you could be good for each other.
 

Oh my god. it's Robby!

spontaneously luminescent
dude, time to pull the old it was the chemicals thing :crazy:
say ur sorry, goto rehab, come out and make sure to be seen with whoever the fashionable anti racists are these days :rock:
 
F

firstodie

Guest
Dear Morrissey
Well, that went well, didn't it? Have you worked it out yet? Your core audience is left wing, and they're really cross. What's that? You didn't know? Oh, Morrissey *sigh* They have been really tolerant over the years. They bit their tongues when you grossly insulted the entire Chinese population. They stuck by you when you made tasteless remarks about the Norway killings. They even took it on the chin when you acted like a complete twat after the Paris atrocity. But they drew the line at the dodgy ramblings of Anne Marie Waters. Morrissey, you have crossed the Rubicon.

Of course you can have a different point of view to the multitudes in the Twittersphere. But not if you want them to buy your concert tickets and shit albums in any large number. There's your dilemma: self-styled Arbiter of Truth and mouthpiece for a shonky political party; or poet for the lonely and dispossessed. The two are not, I am afraid, compatible.

So unless you want to be permanently playing South America for the rest of your life, here are a few suggestions.

1. Say sorry
2. Invite Dave Haslam over for cauliflower cheese - and get the Guardian along to take photos
3. Sack your band
4. Hire some new musicians who might challenge you with some decent music
5. Take some time out to write some decent songs - none of this 'We turn up to the studio and it's all cobbled together by lunchtime' malarkey
6. Lay off the vodka and get out more
7. Call Johnny Marr. He's still really good on the guitar but he can't write a song to save his arse. I feel you could be good for each other.
Do you think he is hitting the vodka, Peppy? It might explain his erratic behaviour.
 
V

vegan.cro spirit# 676

Guest
I would ask Moz to cancel Drama Js Smith royalties unless he promises to give up music.:lbf:
 
V

vegan.cro spirit# 676

Guest
Dear Morrissey
Well, that went well, didn't it? Have you worked it out yet? Your core audience is left wing, and they're really cross. What's that? You didn't know? Oh, Morrissey *sigh* They have been really tolerant over the years. They bit their tongues when you grossly insulted the entire Chinese population. They stuck by you when you made tasteless remarks about the Norway killings. They even took it on the chin when you acted like a complete twat after the Paris atrocity. But they drew the line at the dodgy ramblings of Anne Marie Waters. Morrissey, you have crossed the Rubicon.

Of course you can have a different point of view to the multitudes in the Twittersphere. But not if you want them to buy your concert tickets and shit albums in any large number. There's your dilemma: self-styled Arbiter of Truth and mouthpiece for a shonky political party; or poet for the lonely and dispossessed. The two are not, I am afraid, compatible.

So unless you want to be permanently playing South America for the rest of your life, here are a few suggestions.

1. Say sorry
2. Invite Dave Haslam over for cauliflower cheese - and get the Guardian along to take photos
3. Sack your band
4. Hire some new musicians who might challenge you with some decent music
5. Take some time out to write some decent songs - none of this 'We turn up to the studio and it's all cobbled together by lunchtime' malarkey
6. Lay off the vodka and get out more
7. Call Johnny Marr. He's still really good on the guitar but he can't write a song to save his arse. I feel you could be good for each other.

Right:crazy: call:frogface: to write songs since he cant write a song save his 'arse'. WHAT A GREAT IDEA:crazy:
Maybe its not Moz hogging the vodka bottle.:lbf:
 
F

firstodie

Guest
I think there's a strong possibility. Noel Gallagher has spoken of him having three quarters of a pint of vodka before an Oasis gig https://www.morrissey-solo.com/thre...morrisseys-drinking-abilities-gigwise.128300/ Anybody who can consume that amount is not a casual social drinker.
He doe seem to exhibit certain characteristics such as only being able to think short-term, lack of narrative in List Of The Lost, sometimes being self absorbed and a bit paranoid..........
 

Peppermint

Well-Known Member
He doe seem to exhibit certain characteristics such as only being able to think short-term, lack of narrative in List Of The Lost, sometimes being self absorbed and a bit paranoid..........
I suppose there could be lots of reasons for those behaviours. But List of the Lost was definitely written while imbibing something :lbf:
 
F

firstodie

Guest
I've been wondering if Morrissey still keeps a diary as he did when he was young. If he's on his own a lot, and he's got no one to discuss things with, a diary would be the only narrative thread in his life and would make him more reflective. I also hope he's still reading a lot because I find that that tends to make me more lucid. Perhaps he needs time away from touring, and more time doing quiet things.
 

g23

Always crashing in the same car
An open letter to the grumpy old man at the pub who brings the whole room down with his political grumpery and general assholism-

We liked having you at the pub a lot better when you'd just lead the singalong.

Now you just fill the air with cabbage farts and grumpy harrumphing.

So either give us a tune, or stay home because you're bringing us down.

Regards-

G
 

evennow

Writers on the storm
An open letter to the grumpy old man at the pub who brings the whole room down with his political grumpery and general assholism-

We liked having you at the pub a lot better when you'd just lead the singalong.

Now you just fill the air with cabbage farts and grumpy harrumphing.

So either give us a tune, or stay home because you're bringing us down.

Regards-

G
I think you are on to something G. Maybe a nice 28 day stint in AA (Assholics Anonymous) would be time well spent. As for the letter, it might start...

Dear Moz, Please Help You

You are talking through your bum
With your mouth constantly running
Dear Moz, please help you

And I am so very tired
Of hearing about the right wing
Dear Moz, please help you

...or not.
 

evennow

Writers on the storm
1. Say sorry
Morrissey just announced an Apology Fest at which he will apologize to all the fans who booked non-refundable tickets and hotel rooms only to see him cancel concerts and tours at the last minute, slighted past band members, working partners and mates that he has wronged over the years, and all of those he has offended with his less than considered comments regarding almost all things civil and political. Better get in line now:

 

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