So am I and so are everyone. The most important lesson to learn in life is that you do not matter in any way, shape or form.
You die and you are forgotten quicker than the water is still again in a bucket after you've taken your hand out of it my mother always said and my experience from life proved she was right.
It is not sorrow and mourning that follows death but emptiness does. Life is all about meaningless emptiness to the very end.
I know what you mean by saying that and I agree to a great part.
But, in stead of making you feel sad, it should mean nothing more to you then a part-time philosophical insight and there is no point to led it lead or ruin your day, or life.
In fact, it should liberate you if you are able to park that philosophical observation somewhere in your memory and think about all little things that can be thrilling and entertaining in life.
They don't come to you, you will have to search for them.
Philosophy is just a form of busying your brains with questions.
Remember, in our western society it is a luxury and a curse as well.
If you live in one of those countries in Africa or wherever there where people are very poor and dying of hunger, they don't have the time, nor the understanding cause all their brains are focussed on is how to survive.
Where do I find food, where am I going to sleep for this day.
How am I giving my children enough food for this day.
They don't look further then 1 day.
Tomorrow that whole circle starts again.
In a way, thinking about that, being aware of that makes life for me an endless box of Pandora- like possibilities.
I can do anything I want, and I choose.
Maybe sometimes wrong but how would I know if I didn't try it?
I am going to sing in a choir.
I have great memories of doing that as a child and a teenager.
I don't know what it will be like but I wanna find out.
Later, if I can, I am going to paint and make drawings again.
You can do well, maybe not exactly the same but you can have a very satisfying life and realize that your philosophical thoughts are just as relative as everything else.
You make your life, nobody else.
You sounded sad in this post, that's why I replied.