I found one of my 3 long lost cousins online on dads side, they are all young women. My half brother owns this big yard with what looks like 3 big houses and there are 5 people living there.
Anyway, the one in her 20's suffers from mental challenges like depression and thoughts of suicide and runs her own company that supports people with the same problems. Just reading about her it is scary how much alike we are in so many ways.
The oldest of the 3 cousins is a mother and I still feel bad about not replying to the letter she sent my father when a kid that she wanted him to give to me. She of course heard that her father has this half brother, me, and wrote about herself and her life back then and wanted me to do the same.
Of course I never did cause the letter came during the worst time in my life when I tried to kill myself twice and sadly failed. I've never been good at writing letters but with time the guilt of not having replied to her was eating away at me. (Little curious girl waits for the mail every day and opens the postbox with a sad disappointed look on her face).
I see she is happy now and just had a baby shower and all is good and I shall remain the unknown half brother not worth writing about. I doubt we will meet when dad dies cause it is my hope they will just send flowers and let me deal with all the rest on my own.
Having a look at peoples lives online always makes me feel sad wishing that I hadn't looked into it. Social media truly is the most useless thing ever invented and turns us all into social parasite peeping toms.
Imagine how disappointed they would feel if they ever met me.
LOL