There are two new 'worst Morrissey songs of all time' (and one's on Bonfire)

[Mike Rourke]

According to Mozmar's excellent poll, The Kid's a Looker is no longer the worst Morrissey song of all time (having held that position for about 10 years).
It's on a score of 4.59/10 and has been shunted down into the third worst by:
Kerouac's Crack (4.41)
and (the aptly named) You Don't Need Their Approval on 4.02.

Final combined co-write data/stats

I referred to this at the time of completing the 'co-write' project, so for those who might be interested, here's some data related charts/graphs for folks to digest at their leisure. It'll be impossible to show just one single graph with all tracks, so I've split them into score-ranges:

www.morrissey-solo.com

Perhaps a little surprising that Kerouac's Crack was deemed good enough for the Bonfire album which Morrissey has claimed is his best album to date.

 

[ZOOM FROM GLOOM]

According to Mozmar's excellent poll, The Kid's a Looker is no longer the worst Morrissey song of all time (having held that position for about 10 years).
It's on 4.59 and has been shunted down into the third worst by:
Kerouac's Crack (4.41)
and (the aptly named) You Don't Need Their Approval on 4.02.

Final combined co-write data/stats

I referred to this at the time of completing the 'co-write' project, so for those who might be interested, here's some data related charts/graphs for folks to digest at their leisure. It'll be impossible to show just one single graph with all tracks, so I've split them into score-ranges:

www.morrissey-solo.com

Perhaps a little surprising that Kerouac's Crack was deemed good enough for the Bonfire album which Morrissey has claimed is his best album to date.

‘good enough’ for Morrissey? What does the studio version sound like? How does it sound in comparison to the songs that come before and after it? How does it’s inclusion on the album benefit the album as a whole?

Hopefully someday we’ll find out, and we can then judge this song fairly.


Edit: was YDNTApproval a demo? Was it really lyrically finished? Guess Morrissey felt it was alright for Sam to make it public, though that doesn’t mean it should be judged as complete and as a song ready for public condemnation. I thought of them more as small gifts to his fans. Maybe some of us didn’t deserve them.

 

[Mike Rourke]

‘good enough’ for Morrissey? What does the studio version sound like? How does it sound in comparison to the songs that come before and after it? How does it’s inclusion on the album benefit the album as a whole?

Hopefully someday we’ll find out, and we can then judge this song fairly.


Edit: was YDNTApproval a demo? Was it really lyrically finished? Guess Morrissey felt it was alright for Sam to make it public, though that doesn’t mean it should be judged as complete and as a song ready for public condemnation. I thought of them more as small gifts to his fans. Maybe some of us didn’t deserve them.

Yep, fair points all. Even The Kid's a Looker has never had a proper release - just a Radio 2 live session I think.
Maybe Kerouac Crack can be improved in its studio version. I've only sat through the live version two or three times but it was hard work!

 

[Anonymous]

Luckily for us, 'Bonfire' will never be released.

 

[ZOOM FROM GLOOM]

Yep, fair points all. Even The Kid's a Looker has never had a proper release - just a Radio 2 live session I think.

Maybe Kerouac Crack can be improved in its studio version. I've only sat through the live version two or three times but it was hard work!

Oh? Well, it’s actually on the fourth listen that it will blow your mind !

But seriously though, was it Morrissey’s intention that all songs should blow his fans minds? Why can’t he just put out some nice songs that aren’t meant to change the world?

I think it’s a pleasant enough song, lovely voice, simple melody, and interesting subject matter, that I of course wish he would have gone more into, but that doesn’t really seem to be his thing nowadays. Fair enough, it is his art.

So you see, I do have my criticisms.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Kerouac’s Crack, no matter what concoction they come up with in the studio, is forever doomed to be Kerouac’s Crack, a truly awful song by Morrissey’s standards. It’s naive and apologetic to imply that the studio version would sound like another song (which is what it would take to save it, new lyrics, new [or a] melody). I do, however, agree that not all of his songs should have to blow our minds, but in the past even the whimsical songs were witty and musically appealing (Certain People, Roy, Boy Racer, Hairdresser etc). Be frivolous, sure, but put some goddamn effort in to it.

 

[ZOOM FROM GLOOM]

Kerouac’s Crack, no matter what concoction they come up with in the studio, is forever doomed to be Kerouac’s Crack, a truly awful song by Morrissey’s standards.

Ok. Well I guess no matter how good the studio version is, you seem dead set on disliking it. I’m glad I won’t be having my first listen to the album with that mindset.

It’s naive and apologetic to imply that the studio version would sound like another song. I do, however, agree that not all of his songs should have to blow our minds, but in the past even the whimsical songs were witty and musically appealing (Certain People, Roy, Boy Racer, Hairdresser etc). Be frivolous, sure, but put some goddamn effort in to it.

No. I never implied it would sound like another song (& personally I wouldn’t want it to) nor did I comment on just the sound of it.

Though I did say maybe the sound of the studio version, and how it fits with the rest of the album as a whole, may be just enough to win over those that have criticized the live version. I’m only suggesting that it would be fair ( and logical, no?) to judge the song after we actually heard the studio version.

Anyway, it’s fine if you don’t like it. If you like his past work more and need to make comparisons? well that’s your choice.

Be frivolous, sure, but put some goddamn effort in to it.

I don’t know if Morrissey has ever put effort into his writing. Maybe he writes as he’s always written, and just accepts whatever the gods hand him. He releases the songs, so he must be satisfied with the work. I believe he feels it’s more about the voice these days, anyway. Personally, I really have no complaints about what he still cares to offer.

 

[Mike Rourke]

Oh? Well, it’s actually on the fourth listen that it will blow your mind !

But seriously though, was it Morrissey’s intention that all songs should blow his fans minds? Why can’t he just put out some nice songs that aren’t meant to change the world?

I think it’s a pleasant enough song, lovely voice, simple melody, and interesting subject matter, that I of course wish he would have gone more into, but that doesn’t really seem to be his thing nowadays. Fair enough, it is his art.

So you see, I do have my criticisms.

I've not given up on it! With all the unreleased songs that are previewed live, I don't tend to listen to them more than a few times as I'd rather listen to the recorded version without knowing the song too well. But this Kerouac song did seem like the worst of the bunch.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Ok. Well I guess no matter how good the studio version is, you seem dead set on disliking it. I’m glad I won’t be having my first listen to the album with that mindset.


No. I never implied it would sound like another song (& personally I wouldn’t want it to) nor did I comment on just the sound of it.

Though I did say maybe the sound of the studio version, and how it fits with the rest of the album as a whole, may be just enough to win over those that have criticized the live version. I’m only suggesting that it would be fair ( and logical, no?) to judge the song after we actually heard the studio version.

Anyway, it’s fine if you don’t like it. If you like his past work more and need to make comparisons? well that’s your choice.



I don’t know if Morrissey has ever put effort into his writing. Maybe he writes as he’s always written, and just accepts whatever the gods hand him. He releases the songs, so he must be satisfied with the work. I believe he feels it’s more about the voice these days, anyway. Personally, I really have no complaints about what he still cares to offer.

It’s a shit song in itself. No studio magic will change that.

My point was for KC to be a good song it would have to be a completely different song. Because it is what it is. And it’s a bit shit. That’s how they wrote it. And if it makes sense on the album, well, the album’s probably not that great either.

You continuously seem to think that for to be a Morrissey fan, you have to like everything he’s ever done. It’s as if you can’t utter a word of criticism, otherwise you won’t get in to Moz Heaven. It’s ridiculous and makes for tiresome and meaningless discussions.

And the man who wrote Michael’s Bones, TIALTNGO, Maudlin Street, Seasick etc, did put the effort in.

 

[Eldritch]

I think Kerouac's Crack is fair game, because out of all hundreds possible songs he could sing, Morrissey chose it to sing live that particular night. And since the album has been recorded quite a while ago, it's pretty damn likely that the album version is just a cleaner version of this song with some production trickery sprinkled on top. A polished turd in this case. I don't mind the other one, because it's only a leaked demo, discarded for good reason. Morrissey hasn't felt the need to sing it on stage instead of Maudlin Street or any other buried classic.

The live versions of the songs from two unreleased albums really point to the abyss he is hurtling towards. Yes, there is good stuff among the new material, but less than previously, and the low points are even lower than ever before.

 

[Amy]

Not really sure if it's fair to include demos and unreleased tracks. With Moz, there's usually a reason that tracks are not released - either he knows they're not good enough or they are "tested" live and dropped if they get a bad reaction. KC is so bad it's embarrassing but really, I can just skip it. I am long past the days of expecting "classics" on any Moz album. "Nice enough songs that won't change the world" is about where we're at, and it's pretty normal for someone his age I think.

 

[Aubrey McFate]

It’s a shit song in itself. No studio magic will change that.

My point was for KC to be a good song it would have to be a completely different song. Because it is what it is. And it’s a bit shit. That’s how they wrote it. And if it makes sense on the album, well, the album’s probably not that great either.

Do you think the music is all that bad, though? I agree that the lyrics are among his absolute worst. And even the singing is kind of clunky (but that's possibly due to the live quality, & never minding what an Andrew Watt "Chipmunks" autotune treatment would do). For me, though, a truly awful song has to have bad music. Kerouac's Crack isn't really offensive to my ears. It's your average "Morrissey guitar pop" offering. If someone didn't know the language, they might rate Kerouac's Crack somewhere close to Dagenham Dave.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Do you think the music is all that bad, though? I agree that the lyrics are among his absolute worst. And even the singing is kind of clunky (but that's possibly due to the live quality, & never minding what an Andrew Watt "Chipmunks" autotune treatment would do). For me, though, a truly awful song has to have bad music. Kerouac's Crack isn't really offensive to my ears. It's your average "Morrissey guitar pop" offering. If someone didn't know the language, they might rate Kerouac's Crack somewhere close to Dagenham Dave.

Musically it’s not offensive, but melodically and lyrically it’s way below (what should be) Morrissey’s standard. All in all, though, it’s not worse than most of what we’ll find on Low In High School.

 

[It's me again]

It's inevitable that when an artist gets this long in the tooth, some of his output will slip below the dado rail. Unfortunately this one is under the skirting board. How anyone with any understanding of the majesty of some of his work can hear this without crying is beyond me. The lyrics evoke a picture of his pen flatlining off the paper as he slides under the table and to say the music is undistinguished is generous. Do we know who wrote the music?

Apart from that, it's quite good.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Also, I’ve never understood what’s so offensive about The Kid’s a Looker. I’d rather listen to that one twice a day for the rest of my life than have to sit through WPINOYB, Girl From Tel Aviv, Protect Us or Kiss Me a lot ever again.

 

[morrisseys_gardner]

I’ve never understood what’s so offensive about The Kid’s a Looker.

Greetings fellow The Kid's a Looker enjoyer!

 

[BookishBoy]

I guess if we want a great Kerouac song, we could go back to peak, peak Go-Betweens:

You and I together
With nothing showing at all
In a darkened cinema
I'll give you pleasure in the stalls
Wanna give you tenderness
And my affection too
If it's through clenched teeth
That's what you driven me to
Want us to be lovers
Want us to be friends
Want it like it's the living end
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
With your kittens
On the patchwork quilt
Oh no, what am I doing here
In the house Jack Kerouac built?
There's white magic
And bad rock and roll
Your friend there says
He's the gatekeeper to my soul
The velvet curtains
The Chinese bell
With friends like these you're damned as well
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
Shake off your despondency
And your country girl act
You're reading me poetry
That's Irish and so black
I know you're warm
The warmest person alive
But are you warm
Deep down inside?
Want us to be lovers
Want us to be friends
I want it like the world crumbles and then it ends
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
Keep me away from her
Baby, you're
You're on the road with a bad crowd
And baby, I'm lonely
You're on the road with a bad crowd

 

[ZOOM FROM GLOOM]

It’s a shit song in itself. No studio magic will change that.

My point was for KC to be a good song it would have to be a completely different song. Because it is what it is. And it’s a bit shit. That’s how they wrote it. And if it makes sense on the album, well, the album’s probably not that great either.

You continuously seem to think that for to be a Morrissey fan, you have to like everything he’s ever done. It’s as if you can’t utter a word of criticism, otherwise you won’t get in to Moz Heaven. It’s ridiculous and makes for tiresome and meaningless discussions.

Then you didn’t read my post here #5 where I did criticize KC, you idiot.

If you want to talk about being tiresome and meaningless, then let’s talk about the continuous negative criticism Morrissey gets on this site. I’ll never understand how you & others think it benefits the fans or the artist that has already given us so much.

I’m sorry that Morrissey no longer reaches the high standards you have set up for him. It’s a shitty mindset, you and some others have, Gregor.

 

[Crisstti]

Tastes are personal. As far as I’m concerned, I’m not a dog on a chain is one of his best albums and I love the new songs.
IMO he’s as good as he’s ever been.

 

[Gregor Samsa]

Then you didn’t read my post here #5 where I did criticize KC, you idiot.

If you want to talk about being tiresome and meaningless, then let’s talk about the continuous negative criticism Morrissey gets on this site. I’ll never understand how you & others think it benefits the fans or the artist that has already given us so much.

I’m sorry that Morrissey no longer reaches the high standards you have set up for him. It’s a shitty mindset, you and some others have, Gregor.

I’d hardly call that criticism.

I, too, abhor the unfair and unnecessary (and borderline mentally ill) bashings executed by the likes of Skinny, Benny and their ilk, but to critique some of Moz’ output is definitely not the same thing. You know I am a big fan and that I often praise most of his back catalogue (look at my ratings for the co-write project these past few weeks). And I am not forgetting what his music and words have done for me. But to heap endless praise on every breath he’s ever taken is silly and disingenuous and does no one any favors. Moz the artist is not infallible and to say that everything he’s done is more or less great is stupid. I’d rather discuss what’s really great and what’s not. I think that’s a very healthy mindset.