The Smiths A-Z: "The Headmaster Ritual"

[Anonymous person]

Interestingly, apparently this was the only song where Johnny recommended Morrissey change the lyrics, and amend "bruises bigger than dinner plates" to "bruises as big as dinner plates". He was ignored at the time so never tried to interfere again, but it must have lodged somewhere in Moz's consciousness, as he changed the line when he started playing it live as a solo artist decades later.

I have always been intrigued by that story. I wonder why he made that suggestion. I don't see any meaningful difference (as it relates to the song) between "bigger than dinner plates" and "as big as dinner plates."

 

[Anonymous]

I don't see any meaningful difference (as it relates to the song) between "bigger than dinner plates" and "as big as dinner plates."

Possibly he just thought it was a bit too over the top? If we're talking about a child with multiple bruises literally as big as dinner plates - that's already a hell of a lot of surface area to cover. If you are saying the bruises are even bigger than that - would a child's chest/back have enough surface area for that to even be physically possible?

 

[BookishBoy]

"Bruises bigger than dinner plates" is a much better line than "Bruises as big as dinner plates". The exaggeration helps the image, while "as big as" makes it too precise, too specific. I immediately start thinking, "well, what kind of dinner plate?"

 

[Bizarro]

"Bruises bigger than dinner plates" is a much better line than "Bruises as big as dinner plates". The exaggeration helps the image, while "as big as" makes it too precise, too specific. I immediately start thinking, "well, what kind of dinner plate?"

I'm pretty sure that Moz has sung that line at some point whilst doing it solo.
Edit. I meant the line "As big as dinner plates".

 

[BookishBoy]

I'm pretty sure that Moz has sung that line at some point whilst doing it solo.

Yes, he definitely has! I just think the original version of the lyric works so much better.

 

[Anonymous]

"as big as" makes it too precise, too specific. I immediately start thinking, "well, what kind of dinner plate?"

12" is a must!

 

[Bizarro]

Yes, he definitely has! I just think the original version of the lyric works so much better.

It does, the original lyric that is.when i heard him sing it, i thought it was a slight "olive branch" to Marr.

 

[Deleted member 28602]

I had a WWII frontline soldier, evacuated off of Dunkirk beach teach me at School... great old guy.
I had bastard teachers who had no military background.
Why should soldiers be excluded from teaching ?

So you went to school after the war? How old are you? I'm 87. Nice to meet you.

 

[Bizarro]

So you went to school after the war? How old are you? I'm 87. Nice to meet you.

Er, yes.
How else would i have been taught by a WWII veteran ?

 

[Deleted member 28602]

Er, yes.
How else would i have been taught by a WWII veteran ?

I should've added a "shortly" before "after the war", like the 50s or early 60s. People with PTSD can easily be re-traumatized when confronted with screaming, shouting and galopping stress hormones. Not good for anybody.