the mysterious celexa

[benny]

well, i just recieved notice from informed sources that celexa is morrissey's personal assistant/secretary, his girl friday, if you will. you'll note how she calls him 'steven', a slip-up that directly implicates her in her closeness to morrissey.

all of us should let loose our own ideas/opinions about morrissey and believe EVERY WORD she says. after all, there is no-one closer to 'steven' than her (except, i guess, for his loving wife of many years, chicken caccetori).

the photo proves it. there are NO circumstances, other than his own wedding, that morrissey could be photographed with a woman in a wedding dress. he could NOT have been at a friend's wedding. he could NOT have been at a fan's wedding. he could NOT have been passing by a church where a wedding was taking place and been recognized and asked to pose for a photograph. these things COULD NOT have happened, it is QUITE OBVIOUS that morrissey, dressed to the nines in faded blue jeans, attended his own wedding and was photographed with his blushing bride.

i know that many of you may be a bit leery of believing a completely anonymous source, but the private dicks i've hired have proven to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that celexa is thick as theives with 'steven'. she has worked for him for many years, and actually wrote most of the lyrics to the last album. it was her idea for him to tour this year as well.

she'll probably deny this, i've learned also that she is modest to the core and does not like public appreciation, but belive you me, this girl and moz are LIKE THIS: (image of me crossing my fingers).

thanks, celexa, for setting us straight, so to speak, about morrissey. you've done an invaluable service for fans everywhere.

sincerely?

benny ^o

 

[La Bug]

Re: tricks

you have just been taken
ha ha

 

[homeless chihuahua]

I still think we better stick to your "informed sources" for a change instead, benny, celexa is probably too busy looking out for a record label at this time. I heard she was the one who tipped him off on wearing a faded blue jeans for his wedding instead of a tuxedo because as we know, moz is running out of class and needs sophisticated pharmacists to help him with his public relations.

> thanks, celexa, for setting us straight, so to speak, about
> morrissey. you've done an invaluable service for fans
> everywhere.

> sincerely?

> benny ^o

 

[Bosie]

> well, i just recieved notice from informed sources that celexa
> is morrissey's personal assistant/secretary, his girl friday, if
> you will. you'll note how she calls him 'steven', a slip-up that
> directly implicates her in her closeness to morrissey.

OK... first of all, just who is this "informed source?" Liz Smith's second cousin twice-removed, perhaps? Strike one. Secondly, even Morrissey's most unbearably dull fans refer to him as "Steven." Strike two.

> all of us should let loose our own ideas/opinions about
> morrissey and believe EVERY WORD she says. after all, there is
> no-one closer to 'steven' than her (except, i guess, for his
> loving wife of many years, chicken caccetori).

All of should NOT believe every word "she" says... I don't even believe every word "Steven" says. Strike three, you're out.

> the photo proves it. there are NO circumstances, other than his
> own wedding, that morrissey could be photographed with a woman
> in a wedding dress. he could NOT have been at a friend's
> wedding. he could NOT have been at a fan's wedding. he could NOT
> have been passing by a church where a wedding was taking place
> and been recognized and asked to pose for a photograph. these
> things COULD NOT have happened, it is QUITE OBVIOUS that
> morrissey, dressed to the nines in faded blue jeans, attended
> his

Ok... you're officially out, but I just can't resist... Let's start a new game.
First of all... just where is this supposed photo? I've never seen it. Have you? Has anyone? Has Steven?
Secondly... there are lots n lots of ways to doctor up a photo without anyone being able to tell if it's been retouched... just take a look at the cover of your favorite magazine, and ANY photo contained within. Strike two, again. ANY photo from ANY source can be cut and pasted, airbrushed, surgically implanted, digitally altered, remastered, tainted, tinted, and usurped. It could even make YOU look attractive. Trust me on this one.
Wait, there's more... there's always more...

> i know that many of you may be a bit leery of believing a
> completely anonymous source, but the private dicks i've hired
> have proven to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that celexa is
> thick as theives with 'steven'. she has worked for him for many
> years, and actually wrote most of the lyrics to the last album.
> it was her idea for him to tour this year as well.

Private dicks??? Poor Benny runt, what drugs are you on?

> she'll probably deny this, i've learned also that she is modest
> to the core and does not like public appreciation, but belive
> you me, this girl and moz are LIKE THIS: (image of me crossing
> my fingers).

> thanks, celexa, for setting us straight, so to speak, about
> morrissey. you've done an invaluable service for fans
> everywhere.

> sincerely?

> benny ^o

> P.S. If you don't like the name Benny, you can call me Celexa... it's my drag name.

 

[your arse]

benny,
i just peruse this site once every few days to see if there is that rare post of quality, and guess what? you are always spouting some elixir of banality. you must be very bored, the way you spray your territory around the morrissey pages perimeter. is scatology your only forte?
lovingly,
your arse

 

[benny]

um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

please RUN to your nearest dictionary and look up the word 'irony'.

IMMEDIATELY.

thank you,

benny

> OK... first of all, just who is this "informed
> source?" Liz Smith's second cousin twice-removed, perhaps?
> Strike one. Secondly, even Morrissey's most unbearably dull fans
> refer to him as "Steven." Strike two.

> All of should NOT believe every word "she" says... I
> don't even believe every word "Steven" says. Strike
> three, you're out.

> Ok... you're officially out, but I just can't resist... Let's
> start a new game.
> First of all... just where is this supposed photo? I've never
> seen it. Have you? Has anyone? Has Steven?
> Secondly... there are lots n lots of ways to doctor up a photo
> without anyone being able to tell if it's been retouched... just
> take a look at the cover of your favorite magazine, and ANY
> photo contained within. Strike two, again. ANY photo from ANY
> source can be cut and pasted, airbrushed, surgically implanted,
> digitally altered, remastered, tainted, tinted, and usurped. It
> could even make YOU look attractive. Trust me on this one.
> Wait, there's more... there's always more...

> Private dicks??? Poor Benny runt, what drugs are you on?

 

[benny]

i *am* bored, obviously. and as for scatology...

... i have no idea what you're talking about. my posts are never vulgar.

i don't quite understand your attitude toward me, although i don't object to your right to have a negative opinion of me. i'm all for having fun around here, which is more than a lot of people who insist on racism and arguments about who is cooler and the like. you will *never* see me engage in any of those types of discussions.

thank you for your opinion,

benny ^

> benny,
> i just peruse this site once every few days to see if there is
> that rare post of quality, and guess what? you are always
> spouting some elixir of banality. you must be very bored, the
> way you spray your territory around the morrissey pages
> perimeter. is scatology your only forte?
> lovingly,
> your arse

 

[homeless chihuahua]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

yeah bosie, what drugs are U on?
where have u been?

> please RUN to your nearest dictionary and look up the word
> 'irony'.

> IMMEDIATELY.

> thank you,

> benny

 

[Bosie]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

> please RUN to your nearest dictionary and look up the word
> 'irony'.

> IMMEDIATELY.

> thank you,

> benny

Yeah.. I've seen this photo before. This is not Steven's wife. Period. NO one knows who this Celexa is... she could be anyone, anything, why are you so naive? You honestly believe this person, don't you? Why? Because she seems NICE? Are you very young, or just very sheltered? I don't understand, please explain...

 

[benny]

p.s.

i haven't even *been* posting here for a couple of weeks because the board was so full of that l.a. subculture inanity. i do like to pop in for interesting discussions, like the one about morrissey's marriage. i am so glad to hear such important, secret information from a source so close to 'steven'.

benny ^o

 

[benny]

my goodness, bosie!

i can't discuss this with you further until you find out all about irony; at least its definition. please contact me after you look it up. it would be best if you actually posted the definition, then i'd be certain you knew what it was, even if you don't understand it.

benny

> Yeah.. I've seen this photo before. This is not Steven's wife.
> Period. NO one knows who this Celexa is... she could be anyone,
> anything, why are you so naive? You honestly believe this
> person, don't you? Why? Because she seems NICE? Are you very
> young, or just very sheltered? I don't understand, please
> explain...

 

[Your inflammed arse-y]

Re: i *am* bored, obviously. and as for scatology...

benny,
have you not graduated from primary school yet? they never stopped calling me arse-y either, the affectionate, albeit rudimentary "-y"still stays. how old are you benny? you obviously can not wield the english language very well. what words did i spout that you are not cognizant of? how did you misconstrew my meaning. it had nothing whatsoever to do with vulgarity nor racism.(when in doubt,resort to racism). it was jest and was an implicature that simply had the underlying girders of "the contents of your writings are nothing but stupid @#!!!e." there, now that i translated what i meant into philistine terms perhaps your feeble, lackluster mind may comprehend.
lovingly,
your hemmoroid
p.s. i'm flaring up.

 

[Bosie]

Re: my goodness, bosie!

Benny, you're a one trick pony. I do own a dictionary, really... I have lots of books. I read them sometimes, too... But the thought of actually getting it out and looking something up just because YOU asked me to makes me vaguely ILL. At any rate.. I know EXACTLY what IRONY is... I do have more than an 8th grade education, thank you. Try again... You're still not making your point. Keep trying, I know you can do it... GO BENNY GO! You might get a star sticker... a gold one, if you do really well.

 

[your arse]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

benny,
i don't believe in beating children senseless, but in your case, nothing could endanger any of your physiological integrity...seeing that there is very little to damage. (if you count a volvox being prodded by a metal probe, and it moving to the other side of the petrie dish, as a living thing, i guess that you would register,also.)
anyhow, i read the morrissey married spats that you and bosie are having.he obviously reads books, yeah, you know what they are. no, benny, "choose your own adventure" are not considered literature, but thank you for offering me the chance to scan your library.poor bosie, he must be a martyr trying to heal the afflicted...washing lepers is an easier task than culturing you.still altruism does exist, i guess.

what does irony have to do with the purported wedlock photo? does it occur to you that on a facile level, no one would believe that photo? for no other reason than that woman looks like everyone else. morrissey is not shallow, but he does have some aesthetic pre-requisites that are not negotiable.that woman would never make the cut, no matter how scintillating her cranial capacity.she is just typical, just like you dear benny, so why is this photo ironic? adonis next to bowling alley trash? that is so ironic.i can see how your rudimentary, categorical mind could make the polar opposite connection as a "eureka" moment.
furthermore, this is probably his niece. maybe i am his niece. are you confused? yeah, i like my uncle's music and i would like to put you on the guest list for a show near you, provided you send me a photo of yourself, so i can practice with pugilistic pretensions.
yours,
sphynx-tor
p.s. check your elegant egress hole for sores

 

[the ones least likely to]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

both u and bosie are the biggest dorks around here , if u had just taken a minute to check this issue from the beginning, you wouldnt be talking so much crap disguised in snobby words.
it's not the photograph that's ironic u moron, its the original posting regarding celexa that was a sarcastic contribution from benny, which retarded bose has interpreted literally making public her dumbness.
celexa is the one who is probably laughing her head off at your stupidity.

> benny,
> i don't believe in beating children senseless, but in your case,
> nothing could endanger any of your physiological
> integrity...seeing that there is very little to damage. (if you
> count a volvox being prodded by a metal probe, and it moving to
> the other side of the petrie dish, as a living thing, i guess
> that you would register,also.)
> anyhow, i read the morrissey married spats that you and bosie
> are having.he obviously reads books, yeah, you know what they
> are. no, benny, "choose your own adventure" are not
> considered literature, but thank you for offering me the chance
> to scan your library.poor bosie, he must be a martyr trying to
> heal the afflicted...washing lepers is an easier task than
> culturing you.still altruism does exist, i guess.

> what does irony have to do with the purported wedlock photo?
> does it occur to you that on a facile level, no one would
> believe that photo? for no other reason than that woman looks
> like everyone else. morrissey is not shallow, but he does have
> some aesthetic pre-requisites that are not negotiable.that woman
> would never make the cut, no matter how scintillating her
> cranial capacity.she is just typical, just like you dear benny,
> so why is this photo ironic? adonis next to bowling alley trash?
> that is so ironic.i can see how your rudimentary, categorical
> mind could make the polar opposite connection as a
> "eureka" moment.
> furthermore, this is probably his niece. maybe i am his niece.
> are you confused? yeah, i like my uncle's music and i would like
> to put you on the guest list for a show near you, provided you
> send me a photo of yourself, so i can practice with pugilistic
> pretensions.
> yours,
> sphynx-tor
> p.s. check your elegant egress hole for sores

 

[your arse]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

Dear Least Likely To,

Please learn to type and form complete sentences, in English. I know it's probably going to take you a while, so we won't expect to be hearing from you again soon. While I schooled at Eaton, I think it's possible that Sally Struthers might be more your speed. She sends out excellent instructional courses via mail. I think you would do quite well at this... It may be the the first time in your life that you'll ever be good at anything, so why not give it a try?

P.S. So, you're good friends with Benny... You must be very proud.
P.P.S. You didn't understand anything I just said, did you?

 

[Bosie]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

You spelled my name wrong, dear. It's B-O-S-I-E. I know it's rather long and complicated, but please try to refrain from mutilating it in the future. I'm also of the male gender... but I don't suppose you would know that, either. You don't even know who Bosie was, do you? Surprise me.

 

[queenie]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

> please RUN to your nearest dictionary and look up the word
> 'irony'.

> IMMEDIATELY.

> thank you,

> benny

I was thinking the exact same thing as soon as I read the message Bosie posted! Jesus, people can be soooo lame!

 

[queenie]

Re: um, the photo is posted in a thread below, where this subject first came up. also.....

> Dear Least Likely To,

> Please learn to type and form complete sentences, in English. I
> know it's probably going to take you a while, so we won't expect
> to be hearing from you again soon. While I schooled at Eaton, I
> think it's possible that Sally Struthers might be more your
> speed. She sends out excellent instructional courses via mail. I
> think you would do quite well at this... It may be the the first
> time in your life that you'll ever be good at anything, so why
> not give it a try?

> P.S. So, you're good friends with Benny... You must be very
> proud.
> P.P.S. You didn't understand anything I just said, did you?

You probably didn't undersand anything you just said! You are just as lame as Bosie!

 

[tragedy]

Re: um, the photo

While I schooled at Eaton

It's spelt 'Eton'.