The Moz/Smiths Top 100, Part 273: STAIRCASE AT THE UNIVERSITY

How do you rate Staircase at the University?


  • Total voters
    61

Houdini

Junior Member
In 2007, and early 2008, we put up polls for all 234 then released Morrissey and The Smiths-songs. More than 40,000 votes were cast and this resulted in The Morrissey/Smiths Top 100, or indeed, The Morrissey/The Smiths Top 234. In 2009/2010 we updated this chart with the 25 new songs that were released in 2008-2010. The final results of 2010, the 'Top 259', can be viewed here. Now, 4 years on, many people have asked me to continue with the polls as since the last one 25 new Morrissey-songs have been released.
So we'll start with the songs that were released in 2011, 2012 and 2013 and we'll end with the 18 songs from World Peace Is None of Your Business.

So here it goes. Let's hope for as big a turn-out as in 2007 and 2010 and, once again, vote with your heart, not with your mind.

Song 273: Staircase at the University (Morrissey/Boz Boorer)


March, April, May
she crammed night and day
I hadn't seen her smile in a while
March, April, May
she crammed night and day
I hadn't seen her smile in a while
staircase at the university
she threw herself down
and her head split three ways
"If you don't get three A's"
her sweet daddy said
"you're no child of mine and as far as
I'm concerned you're dead"
"if you don't get three A's"
her sweet daddy said
"you're no child of mine and as far as
I'm concerned you're dead"
staircase at the university
she threw herself down
and her head split three ways

"If you don't get three A's"
her lovely boyfriend said
"your shame is sure to stain
the family name"
"If you don't get three A's"
her lovely boyfriend said
"your shame is sure to stain
the family name"
staircase at the university
she threw herself down
and her head split three ways

Cramming, slam in
pack 'em in, ramming
choc-a-bloc books
power study, polish up
and if it breaks your heart
then don't come running to me
cramming, slam in
pack 'em in, ramming
choc-a-bloc books
power study, polish up
and if you break your legs
then don't come running to me.


Previous polls:

Part 272: I'm Not a Man
Part 271: Neal Cassady Drops Dead
Part 270: The Bullfighter Dies
Part 269: Earth is the Loneliest Planet
Part 268: Istanbul
Part 267: World Peace is None of Your Business
Part 266: You Say You Don't Love Me
Part 265: Satellite of Love
Part 264: The Kid's a Looker
Part 263: Action is My Middle Name
Part 262: People Are The Same Everywhere
Part 261: Safe, Warm Lancashire Home
Part 260: Treat Me Like a Human Being
Polls 259-1

EACH TIME YOU VOTE, YOU SUPPORT THE PROCESS!
 
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Viva Mozza

You're the one for me
A fantastic song of WPINOYB. Maybe the best.

A great 9 from me
 

Chickpea

pithy yet degenerate
One of my favorite Moz songs, for sure. I could listen to Staircase on repeat all day and not tire of it—good fun. I can't WAIT to hear it live...
 

Nikita

Senior Member
I like the song, but I can't understand how some rate it at ten, because if it is a ten, how rate There is a light that never goes out for instance?
 

Viva Mozza

You're the one for me
One of my favorite Moz songs, for sure. I could listen to Staircase on repeat all day and not tire of it—good fun. I can't WAIT to hear it live...
Let's hope for the German gigs.....
 

Eraserhead

Accept Myself
I like the song, but I can't understand how some rate it at ten, because if it is a ten, how rate There is a light that never goes out for instance?
Why assume that There is a light is above everything? Nothing is beyond dispute. I rated it a ten because I feel it is worthy.

Thematically, it seems like a cross between When Last I Spoke To Carol and Girl Least Likely. Musically, it is a breath of fresh air. I love the Latin rhythm and everything about the production is perfect. It genuinely makes you want to move to the music, despite the bleak subject matter. A great example of Morrissey's use of dichotomy.
 

King Leer

Leering since '97
For years I was asking for a return to the Viva Hate/Bona Drag era sound, and this song hits that sweet spot massively.
 

sad veiled bride

can you please stop time?
I like the song, but I can't understand how some rate it at ten, because if it is a ten, how rate There is a light that never goes out for instance?
Also ten, just a different shade of ten (said by a teacher who must rate boys and girls with a number and daily realizes how inadequate numbers are...)
 

Charlie Cheswick

Well-Known Member
Catchy tune, I don't like Universitay or her head split three ways. Like I'm not a man, marked down from what should be an 8 or 9 to a 6 because of a couple of bits in each song which I think ruin them a bit.
 

Oh my god. it's Robby!

spontaneously luminescent
Catchy tune, I don't like Universitay or her head split three ways. Like I'm not a man, marked down from what should be an 8 or 9 to a 6 because of a couple of bits in each song which I think ruin them a bit.
shit Charlie, is it perfect? no, of course not, but to knock it down that far seems a bit drastic, I'm glad you are not my teacher* :eek::p



*=I use to be highly critical, but teaching young kids has softened me somewhat I suppose, I find a little harshness mixed with a lot of sweetness goes a lot further, well, at least for me...
 
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Orson Swells

Well-Known Member
Catchy tune, I don't like Universitay or her head split three ways. Like I'm not a man, marked down from what should be an 8 or 9 to a 6 because of a couple of bits in each song which I think ruin them a bit.
Funnily enough, I always hear it as universi-teh rather than tay. So I don't hear it as a forced rhyme, rather a Sparks-style annunciation. It's a really great late-Moz Bona Drag-ish song. If this was on Kill Uncle it'd be the best song on the album...
 

Maurice E Maher

Well-Known Member
Catchy tune, I don't like Universitay or her head split three ways.
I feel the same as you, Charlie. Those are the two worst bits of the song. But I'm marking it down from a 10 to a 9.
The music in this song is flipping brilliant! The woodwind in the bridge, the flamenco parts in the outro, the handclaps... everything.
It could be the best piece of music Boz has ever written - how he went from writing stuff as uninspired as Black Cloud to the sublime pop magic of Staircase in the space of an album is baffling.
I really hope the record company situation is resolved and it gets released as a single as it would be his biggest radio hit for years.
With the possible exception of FOTG (which has much better lyrics), it would be his catchiest single since the glory days of the Bona Drag era.
 
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