The Moz/Smiths Top 100, Part 207: UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY

[Houdini]

Let's compile our own Morrissey/Smiths Top 100 by rating all 232 Moz/Smiths-songs.

Song for Today: UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY

Voting should be something along these lines:
10: Perfection
9: Near perfect, brilliant
8: Really good Moz/Smiths song
7: Good Moz/Smiths song
6: OK, Nothing special
5: Uninspired
4: Poor
3: Bad
2: Should never have been released
1: He/They should be ashamed

The songs so far (voting is still open, click to vote):

Part 206: Trouble Loves Me
Part 205: Tony The Pony
Part 204: Tomorrow
Part 203: To Me You Are A Work Of Art
Part 202: This Night Has Opened My Eyes
Part 201: This Is Not Your Country
Part 200: This Charming Man
Part 199: These Things Take Time
Part 198: There's A Place In Hell For Me And My Friends
Part 197: There Speaks A True Friend
Part 196: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
Part 195: The Youngest Was The Most Loved
Part 194: The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores
Part 193: The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Pupils
Part 192: The Queen Is Dead
Part 191: The Public Image
Part 190: The Ordinary Boys
Part 189: The Operation
Part 188: The Never Played Symphonies
Part 187: The National Front Disco
Part 186: The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get
Part 185: The Loop
Part 184: The Lazy Sunbathers
Part 183: The Last Of The Famous International Playboys
Part 182: The Headmaster Ritual
Part 181: The Harsh Truth Of The Camera Eye
Part 180: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
Part 179: The Father Who Must Be Killed
Part 178: The Edges Are No Longer Parallel
Part 177: The Draize Train
Part 176: The Boy With The Thorn In His Side
Part 175: The Boy Racer
Part 174: That's Entertainment
Part 173: That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore
Part 172: Teenage Dad On His Estate
Part 171: Sweetie Pie
Part 170: Sweet And Tender Hooligan
Part 169: Sunny
Part 168: Suffer Little Children
Part 167: Suedehead
Part 166: Such A Little Thing Makes Such A Big Difference
Part 165: Stretch Out And Wait
Part 164: Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
Part 163: Still Ill
Part 162: Spring-Heeled Jim
Part 161: Speedway
Part 160: Southpaw
Part 159: Sorrow Will Come In The End
Part 158: Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others
Part 157: Slum Mums
Part 156: Skin Storm
Part 155: Sister, I'm A Poet
Part 154: Sing Your Life
Part 153: Shoplifters Of The World Unite
Part 152: Sheila Take A Bow
Part 151: Shakespeare's Sister
Part 150: Seasick Yet Still Docked
Part 149: Satan Rejected My Soul
Part 148: Rusholme Ruffians
Part 147: Rubber Ring
Part 146: Roy's Keen
Part 145: Reel Around The Fountain
Part 144: Redondo Beach
Part 143: Reader Meet Author
Part 142: Pretty Girls Make Graves
Part 141: Pregnant For The Last Time
Part 140: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
Part 139: Piccadilly Palare
Part 138: Pashernate Love
Part 137: Papa Jack
Part 136: Panic
Part 135: Paint A Vulgar Picture
Part 134: Our Frank
Part 133: Ouija Board, Ouija Board
Part 132: Oscillate Wildly
Part 131: On The Streets I Ran
Part 130: Oh Well, I'll Never Learn
Part 129: Nowhere Fast
Part 128: Now My Heart Is Full
Part 127: Now I Am A Was
Part 126: November Spawned A Monster
Part 125: Noise Is The Best Revenge
Part 124: Nobody Loves Us
Part 123: No One Can Hold A Candle To You
Part 122: Never Had No One Ever
Part 121: My Love Life
Part 120: My Life Is A Succession Of People Saying Goodbye
Part 119: Mute Witness
Part 118: Munich Air Disaster 1958
Part 117: Moonriver
Part 116: Money Changes Everything
Part 115: Miserable Lie
Part 114: Michael's Bones
Part 113: Mexico
Part 112: Meat Is Murder
Part 111: Margaret On The Guillotine
Part 110: Maladjusted
Part 109: Lucky Lisp
Part 108: Lost
Part 107: London
Part 106: Little Man, What Now?
Part 105: Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning
Part 104: Life Is A Pigsty
Part 103: Let the Right One Slip In
Part 102: Let Me Kiss You
Part 101: Late Night, Maudlin Street
Part 100: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me,
(follow this link for first 99 songs).

Best performing songs, parts 1 to 99 (click to vote):

Part 96: Jack The Ripper
Part 93: Irish Blood, English Heart
Part 88: I've Changed My Plea To Guilty
Part 83: I Won't Share You
Part 81: I Want The One I Can't Have
Part 77: I Know It's Over
Part 65: How Soon Is Now?
Part 61: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
Part 57: Handsome Devil
Part 56: Hand In Glove
Part 55: Half A Person
Part 54: Hairdresser On Fire
Part 50: Girlfriend In A Coma
Part 42: First Of The Gang To Die
Part 41: Everyday Is Like Sunday
Part 36: Disappointed
Part 26: Cemetry Gates
Part 21: Bigmouth Strikes Again
Part 14: Asleep
Part 1: A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours

 

[Uncleskinny]

Lovely, lovely song. The printed lyrics tell more than just listening to the song.

Peter

 

[mozmal]

Very good song. This was The Smiths at their very peak - a shame they never played it live. 8 from me.

 

[Vauxhall95]

Very good song. This was The Smiths at their very peak - a shame they never played it live. 8 from me.

Wow! I must be out of touch. I gave it a blistering 4. Juvenile, uninspired, obvious, everything The Smith's weren't. I thought about a 5 simply because of the lyric, "Because you're evil and you lie, and if you should die, I might be slightly sad but I won't cry."

Honestly, I cannot see giving this a ten! I know music is subjective, but you mean to tell me this song is the best work The Smith's ever did? It just seems utterly absurd.

 

[jeniphir]

One of the best of its subgenre (Songs About Hating Someone, Actually About Hating Oneself), musically not on par with Marr's best work, though. . .9 for lyrics, 9 for music, so, basically. . .9.

"I said no. . .and then I shot myself." Now thass good shit!

--jeniphir

 

[Comtesse]

It's not a classic, but it's a wonderful little ditty. I probably quote this one more than any other Smiths song... which is probably a frightening confession. But I love it, even though the lyrics are "juvenile". I can certainly relate to them... so I suppose that makes me juvenile as well... I just hope he didn't really kill his dog. That wouldn't be very nice.

8

 

[mozmal]

Wow! I must be out of touch. I gave it a blistering 4. Juvenile, uninspired, obvious, everything The Smith's weren't. I thought about a 5 simply because of the lyric, "Because you're evil and you lie, and if you should die, I might be slightly sad but I won't cry."

Honestly, I cannot see giving this a ten! I know music is subjective, but you mean to tell me this song is the best work The Smith's ever did? It just seems utterly absurd.

Good point. When I said at their peak, I mean it was the band at arguably their most polished, professional peak. Morrissey has always stated that this was the very best album they made. I don't think it's a classic Smiths number, but it's so well put together. Cheers.

 

[Raquel]

Catchy!
Wonder if anyone else either plays this song aloud (or in their head!) when it's an ex's birthday?

 

[Amy]

Mediocre in every sense, but not terrible, and I like the "..because you're evil, and you lie, and if you should die.." lyric. A 6

 

[Vauxhall95]

It's not a classic, but it's a wonderful little ditty. I probably quote this one more than any other Smiths song... which is probably a frightening confession. But I love it, even though the lyrics are "juvenile". I can certainly relate to them... so I suppose that makes me juvenile as well... I just hope he didn't really kill his dog. That wouldn't be very nice.

8

No it doesn't. It was just my thoughts on the song, not the people who like it. I understand music is subjective. I think "America Is Not the World" and "All the Lazy Dykes" are 8's. I'd probably catch hell for that.

I guess my frustration with this poll (and actually I hope we re-do the poll) is it really doesn't sort anything out, which is supposed to be the whole point of the poll, i.e. coming up with a Top 100. It is too easy to give everything high marks.

We have bantered about some ideas, but I like the idea of having a ration of grades. For example, if we review 100 songs, we are all given ten 10's, 9's, 8's, 7's, 6's, 5's, 4's, 3's, 2's, 1's. So, when you go to vote on a song you only have so many tens you could give out. It would really force you to decide what songs you absolutely must have and which you could go without. Do you really want to give "Sweetie-Pie" an eight or save it for "Suedehead?"

Just some thoughts...

 

[Dothatagain?]

We have bantered about some ideas, but I like the idea of having a ration of grades. For example, if we review 100 songs, we are all given ten 10's, 9's, 8's, 7's, 6's, 5's, 4's, 3's, 2's, 1's. So, when you go to vote on a song you only have so many tens you could give out. It would really force you to decide what songs you absolutely must have and which you could go without. Do you really want to give "Sweetie-Pie" an eight or save it for "Suedehead?"

Surely that would be even more unreliable, since people would be forced to vote based on those limits, rather than their true view of a song.

It's a bit of fun. If people want to vote lots of, or no, tens, that's up to them.

 

[oscillate wildly]

I give it a nine! But then, I give almost every Smiths song something above a 7/8 haha.

 

[Corrissey]

Catchy!
Wonder if anyone else either plays this song aloud (or in their head!) when it's an ex's birthday?

No, but I do think about my twin bro (no ill will) but instead I play him the Beatles "Birthday"

This is a fave of mine on Strangeways. His voice is so pleasant despite such 'hateful' lyrics. Love that he "may feel slighly sad but he won't cry". I also dig the lil opening jingle and guitar chord finger slip noise (please, someone... what do they call that...cuz I lurve hearin it and need to properly refer to it =o)

A high 8. "So drink drink drink and be ill tonight... ffrooooommmmm the one you left behind..."

 

[Vauxhall95]

Surely that would be even more unreliable, since people would be forced to vote based on those limits, rather than their true view of a song.

It's a bit of fun. If people want to vote lots of, or no, tens, that's up to them.

I know it should be fun, it's the stick up my ass that makes me think it should be more scientific and regimented. I can't agree that a weighted system would make it worse. When "Black Eyed Susan" and "Sweetie Pie" are getting 10's right next to "Suedehead," I'm sorry that system is screwed royally!

 

[dothewatusi]

I give it a nine! But then, I give almost every Smiths song something above a 7/8 haha.

Me too! I love this song. I can hear it over and over again because of the wall of sound (JM) created around the lyrics...lyrics that aren't so linear, but do express a certain rage. I can somehow relate.

 

[celibate]

a 7

decent song from Strangeways which gets too much attention cause
its the 'birthday' song for people in Smiths/Mozland

Lyrics and music are average, mediocre, not much more I can write
about it, liked it a lot but it fades into my never playing Smiths/Morrissey
songs much fast

 

[imogen11]

I. Love. This. Song.

I love the nastiness of it all!

It's an 8.5 from me.

 

[imogen11]

Catchy!
Wonder if anyone else either plays this song aloud (or in their head!) when it's an ex's birthday?

Yes indeed I have!

 

[Well I Wonder]

7/10. I like it but it aint no classic.​

 

[Piss Me Off]

An 8 on the verge of 9 from me, its one of my favourites off of Strangeways. That acoustic melody is just beautiful.