Morrissey Central "The End" (August 14, 2020)

Comments

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
He may not be able to attend even if he wanted to. My auntie just died (on the same day as Elizabeth Dwyer, weirdly) - there are 10 people allowed in the chapel for the service.
í am sorry for your loss Peppermint.

Never thought í'd come to think í was better off 3 years back when my Mum & Auntie died within 2 weeks of each other, but í can't even start to imagine how one would cope with death these days. People, mostly, need these markers of grieving, and they are needed at a certain time.

.
 

Peppermint

Well-Known Member
í am sorry for your loss Peppermint.

Never thought í'd come to think í was better off 3 years back when my Mum & Auntie died within 2 weeks of each other, but í can't even start to imagine how one would cope with death these days. People, mostly, need these markers of grieving, and they are needed at a certain time.

.
You are very kind, Joe, thank you. She was 93 so not a tragedy, and it's a blessing because she was very ill at the end. But we are all very sad nonetheless - another chunk of our lives falls off and crumbles away. I am also very sorry for your double loss of 3 years ago - that must have been quite a hammer blow.

This is indeed a strange time to 'do death'. My mother didn't want us all to attend, coming 'all that way' for a very limited service and wake. But it's because of covid, not in spite of it, that we wanted to come, because the ties between us seem so much more precious than ever before.
 
T

Trans

Guest
You are very kind, Joe, thank you. She was 93 so not a tragedy, and it's a blessing because she was very ill at the end. But we are all very sad nonetheless - another chunk of our lives falls off and crumbles away. I am also very sorry for your double loss of 3 years ago - that must have been quite a hammer blow.

This is indeed a strange time to 'do death'. My mother didn't want us all to attend, coming 'all that way' for a very limited service and wake. But it's because of covid, not in spite of it, that we wanted to come, because the ties between us seem so much more precious than ever before.
sorry pep. I went through it when we had our serious lockdown. My aunt as well. We had to wait a long time to have even the limited service but it was still worth while. While we were waiting it just felt empty and small bit of closure we did get was needed. The line about another chunk of your life fading away is very apt. I’ve been feeling the same lately
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
You are very kind, Joe, thank you. She was 93 so not a tragedy, and it's a blessing because she was very ill at the end. But we are all very sad nonetheless - another chunk of our lives falls off and crumbles away. I am also very sorry for your double loss of 3 years ago - that must have been quite a hammer blow.

This is indeed a strange time to 'do death'. My mother didn't want us all to attend, coming 'all that way' for a very limited service and wake. But it's because of covid, not in spite of it, that we wanted to come, because the ties between us seem so much more precious than ever before.
You're so right. This whole f***ing mess has made us focus on what binds us, as we are kept apart.
So when you lose someone now, you feel the need to celebrate that bond all the more. But we are told it could kill others, or at least cause each other pain. It's a psychological minefield. On top of the warzone of grief.

Aunties are cool. {Apart from the ones that aren't. Psycho Aunties. We've all got one!}

.
 

Peppermint

Well-Known Member
You're so right. This whole f***ing mess has made us focus on what binds us, as we are kept apart.
So when you lose someone now, you feel the need to celebrate that bond all the more. But we are told it could kill others, or at least cause each other pain. It's a psychological minefield. On top of the warzone of grief.

Aunties are cool. {Apart from the ones that aren't. Psycho Aunties. We've all got one!}

.
That's exactly it. No doubt we will get through it, but it's going to feel very strange not being able to hug people.

Oh, aunties are great. My own 'psycho auntie' is actually my kids' auntie - I was lucky, it skipped a generation :) But the auntie who's just passed was a bit of a legend in her own way. Right up until recently she was bemoaning the state of her love life. My dad snapped back, 'You've had your share.' And more besides, apparently. I was telling my 20 year old son about her and he was open-mouthed. The old adage of the young thinking they invented fun.
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
í suppose it's only 'fun' largely because you think you invented it :brows:

í wouldn't know ;)

.
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
And APROPOS OF NOTHING here is a lovely picture of Steven Patrick Francis Morrissey & John Martin Maher.
6th of July, 1983. The Haçienda, Manchester ~


Morrissey Marr Hacienda 6th July 1983.jpg


:flowers:

.
 

Peppermint

Well-Known Member
sorry pep. I went through it when we had our serious lockdown. My aunt as well. We had to wait a long time to have even the limited service but it was still worth while. While we were waiting it just felt empty and small bit of closure we did get was needed. The line about another chunk of your life fading away is very apt. I’ve been feeling the same lately
Very sorry to hear, Trans. And now you have a new life in the family. Maybe there is some comfort in the natural equilibrium of things. My daughter (now 16) was born just as another aunt died, so we named her after the relative she would never meet. My mother said, 'One in, one out.' Which might sound a bit blunt, but I rather liked the simplicity of it.
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
That's exactly it. No doubt we will get through it, but it's going to feel very strange not being able to hug people.

Oh, aunties are great. My own 'psycho auntie' is actually my kids' auntie - I was lucky, it skipped a generation :) But the auntie who's just passed was a bit of a legend in her own way. Right up until recently she was bemoaning the state of her love life. My dad snapped back, 'You've had your share.' And more besides, apparently. I was telling my 20 year old son about her and he was open-mouthed. The old adage of the young thinking they invented fun.
ps ~ everyone loves a Randy Auntie {Other than Funny Uncles}.

.
 
T

Trans

Guest
Very sorry to hear, Trans. And now you have a new life in the family. Maybe there is some comfort in the natural equilibrium of things. My daughter (now 16) was born just as another aunt died, so we named her after the relative she would never meet. My mother said, 'One in, one out.' Which might sound a bit blunt, but I rather liked the simplicity of it.
life is all kinds of feelings at once. She was old and she lived a while but of course I loved her and want to be with her so it was And will always be painful. I’m just at the age where my parents generation is starting to die and that comment was pretty accurate for how it feels.
your relatives are liked back up hard drives. Every one that dies makes it hard to retrieve those feelings and memories and so when they start dying you start shrinking and I can just feel the squeeze
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
life is all kinds of feelings at once. She was old and she lived a while but of course I loved her and want to be with her so it was And will always be painful. I’m just at the age where my parents generation is starting to die and that comment was pretty accurate for how it feels.
your relatives are liked back up hard drives. Every one that dies makes it hard to retrieve those feelings and memories and so when they start dying you start shrinking and I can just feel the squeeze
Beautifully put. í am sorry for your loss.

Dementia in some ways makes it worse, in some better, as you deal with the gradual wiping of that 'hard drive' right in front of you, in the midst of life.
So by the time of the death {of the body} you are already somewhat prepared, and pre-shrunk.
But worse, in the way that you get to experience a mini-oblivion of all your memories, while looking in the loved one's eyes.

.
 
T

Trans

Guest
Beautifully put. í am sorry for your loss.

Dementia in some ways makes it worse, in some better, as you deal with the gradual wiping of that 'hard drive' right in front of you, in the midst of life.
So by the time of the death {of the body} you are already somewhat prepared, and pre-shrunk.
But worse, in the way that you get to experience a mini-oblivion of all your memories, while looking in the loved one's eyes.

.
agreed and I can’t and don’t even want to imagine. Sorry if you had to experience that. I’ve had friends who gone through situations similar and it was incredibly painful to observe even from the outside. All I could do was just count my blessings
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
agreed and I can’t and don’t even want to imagine. Sorry if you had to experience that. I’ve had friends who gone through situations similar and it was incredibly painful to observe even from the outside. All I could do was just count my blessings
í was lucky, in the sense that my Mum & Aunt did not know who í was to them, in terms of son & nephew, but they did know that they were loved & safe. That wasn't the case with other family members, who were unable to accept that altered reality. But í knew that that situation could change rapidly, given the cruel wonders of dementia. They both died prior to that change. But, in our case, love cut through the disease.

.
 

Trending Threads

Top Bottom