The Drivel Thread

I'm reminded of the men I got away from, who also used and abused. I'm lucky I got away from them. I can't believe that at 59, I still have someone trying to do this to me. To enslave me. Morrissey said once that we're all slaves. I want to serve, but I do not want to be a slave.
 
I'm seeing a mental health worker in a few minutes. I will tell her about all this shit, and hear what she has to say. She's a very intelligent woman, so I'm feeling lucky to have her to talk to.
 
It turns out, Pamela Anderson is quite an intelligent person, and makes sense when she talks about writing.
 
The above documentary is heavily censored. Words like 'raped' and 'abused' are silenced in it.
 
Post a review if you decide to read the book, Light Housework. I'm kind of interested in it, but my library didn't get a copy and I'm not sure it would be worth buying. I was working in a book store when her novel Star came out. I didn't read it, but I had a look at some random sections and unfortunately the writing seemed blah. This autobiography has a good cover, though. And presumably her life story is more interesting than her fiction. I might be mis-remembering, but I think PETA hosted a vegan Thanksgiving dinner in the late aughts or early 10s. And the diners included Morrissey, Anderson, Paul McCartney, and Chrissie Hynde. That's an excellent guest list.
 
'Starstruck' too! I'm sure it will be an interesting read too. I read her book Raw, and it was interesting. I remember though, wondering about her using the word honey, as it prompted me to be curious whether she's fully vegan or not.
 
nicky wire's legs said:
and i would also like to add that until you're willing to admit your delusions are delusions and to stop being self indulgent, you're not having the right attitude.
Click to expand...
Self indulgence can be a good thing. It can be part of a balanced life. Surely, you know this, as you indulge in clothes, books, etc.
 
I gave five bucks to a homeless woman today. She may not have wanted me to stick around. She said she was losing hope, after she told me that all of the shelters kicked her out. I left her there on the sidewalk to head to the pharmacy, as I didn't feel I could help her on a practical level any further than giving her five bucks, but maybe lending her an ear for a while would have helped her emotionally. It wouldn't have hurt me or inconvenienced me to. It just didn't occur to me at the time.
 
I gave another homeless person five bucks yesterday, and then he demanded new socks and food. He was camped outside Dollar Tree, so I bought him 3 pairs of socks from that store, and then asked to look at his feet. He showed them to me and his big toes were raw and misshapen, probably from wearing shoes that are too small. I told him I'd get some food and shoes for him from home, so I brought him a peeled orange and an apple, and a pair of shoes that were women's size 9.5, and he said they were a little tight but that they were okay.

I went home then, and wrote in my journal, and as I was writing I worked out that I should give him a pair of women's size 10.5, after I googled what size in women's he'd take, him taking an 8.5 men's size. So I went back to his makeshift shelter and gave the size 10.5 shoes to him. He said that they were beautiful, and asked me why I was giving them to him. I told him that the first pair were a little too small for me, and that the second pair I would replace by buying another pair. In case anyone's interested in what type of shoes I gave him, they were both New Balance 847v4's, one pair in greyish blue and the other in all black. Excellent shoes. The best in my opinion.

Then, he said thank you and seemed to want me to leave, so I did.
 
That neighbour who said "You really are sick aren't you?" when I said I didn't want to go to the store for her anymore, she continues to leave voicemails, saying she's sorry, but I know it would just be a matter of time before I'd feel like a doormat again, if I give her an inch, as she will always take a mile, so I'm not calling her back.
 
A mental health worker of mine is retiring soon. She told me today. It'll be like losing touch with a family member.

My friend's dog is sick in hospital. We walked together on Monday morning, and he got sick early Tuesday morning. I didn't see him eat anything. She didn't see him eat anything unusual. The vet bill is very high, and she's not rich.

I've got I'm Not Sorry in my head, after feeling anxious for 3 or 4 hours.
 
My friend's dog has recovered. I'm so relieved, because I was afraid he'd eaten something from my apartment.

I went for a long walk today with a neighbour, to and from the drop in. I spent an hour in there with one of the volunteers chatting with me. A First Nations guy with a guitar told me I'm cute, and pretty. I told him I was waiting for my neighbour, and he scrammed. He gave me a couple of fist bumps. Friendly person he seems to be.

We got rained on, on the way back, and my polar fleece jacket kept me dry, absorbing all the water like a sponge. My neighbour used his umbrella to keep dry. It felt very good walking all that distance with him keeping me company. I feel awkward walking alone.
 

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