The Drivel Thread

Just like you and me, Baz!
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(You can decide between yourselves who the one with the pearl necklace is)
 
My left foot is throbbing, and now my neck is starting to hurt too. I had my appointment with my psychiatrist. I’m not hobbling to the walk in clinic for my physical ailments though, not after my doctor said she wondered if they might be all in my head.
 
I see a mental health worker this afternoon. I hope we’ll paint, but I have a feeling it’ll be paperwork this session. I have my counselling appointment tomorrow morning to look forward to though, which I’m paying a pretty penny for.
 
I went to bed, and looked up to see that there was a spider on the ceiling by the wall. I stood up on the bed to see what type of spider it was, and couldn’t identify it. I laid back down and told it that I was trying to stay calm and that I hoped it appreciated it. I thought that surely it saw me and wanted to avoid me, so I tried to sleep but couldn’t. After about ten minutes, I looked up and it had crawled overhead, and then it started to climb down a thread toward me on the bed. I stood on the bed holding the laptop under it to corral it away from my bed and it climbed back up to the ceiling. I decided to kill it because I did not want to take the chance that it would sneak into my bed. I went to get a flat slab to slam against the ceiling. I used my watercolour paper block. Why did it crawl above me and then climb down toward me I wonder. Did it think I would want to cuddle with it?
"A symbol of where mad, mad lovers
Must PAUSE and draw the line kill"
There’s a stain on my paper block, and the ceiling, but it was a quick kill. So much for sleeping tonight. I am not Brigitte Bardot who is fond of spiders I read. I have scars on my leg from the brown recluse. That was a volcanic rainbow of pus that went on for a few months in Toronto. I eventually caught it and identified it using a library book’s description and illustration. Years later I saw one crawling in long dried grass in a field in Port Moody, British Columbia, Canada. I left the area quickly. No, I have never met a spider I felt attracted to. I did see a video in which a woman and a spider had a great rapport, but it’s not on my bucket list. Maybe if Morrissey tames a spider and cajoles me to bond with it I’ll try. I wonder why that spider decided to crawl above my bed and then rappel down toward it. Why? I didn’t torture it. I just killed it. A spider in my bed…no.
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Spider was probably a sadist.

Also you're a hypocrite (with a gross turkey neck)
 
I won’t go for a walk because my left foot is sprained. I wonder if my right eye still has a red patch to it.
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Yup it’s still there and I’m not looking very handsome. Maybe I’ll stop posting selfies for a while. Still feeling something’s physically off. Can’t say everything here because it’s too public to. I may seem like an open book, but I’m definitely not, not completely. Not here on this thread.
 
I went to bed, and looked up to see that there was a spider on the ceiling by the wall. I stood up on the bed to see what type of spider it was, and couldn’t identify it. I laid back down and told it that I was trying to stay calm and that I hoped it appreciated it. I thought that surely it saw me and wanted to avoid me, so I tried to sleep but couldn’t. After about ten minutes, I looked up and it had crawled overhead, and then it started to climb down a thread toward me on the bed. I stood on the bed holding the laptop under it to corral it away from my bed and it climbed back up to the ceiling. I decided to kill it because I did not want to take the chance that it would sneak into my bed. I went to get a flat slab to slam against the ceiling. I used my watercolour paper block. Why did it crawl above me and then climb down toward me I wonder. Did it think I would want to cuddle with it?
"A symbol of where mad, mad lovers
Must PAUSE and draw the line kill"
There’s a stain on my paper block, and the ceiling, but it was a quick kill. So much for sleeping tonight. I am not Brigitte Bardot who is fond of spiders I read. I have scars on my leg from the brown recluse. That was a volcanic rainbow of pus that went on for a few months in Toronto. I eventually caught it and identified it using a library book’s description and illustration. Years later I saw one crawling in long dried grass in a field in Port Moody, British Columbia, Canada. I left the area quickly. No, I have never met a spider I felt attracted to. I did see a video in which a woman and a spider had a great rapport, but it’s not on my bucket list. Maybe if Morrissey tames a spider and cajoles me to bond with it I’ll try. I wonder why that spider decided to crawl above my bed and then rappel down toward it. Why? I didn’t torture it. I just killed it. A spider in my bed…no.
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I don't know how dangerous house spiders are in your country, I try not to kill anything. and so I used to take spiders outside. Then I found out that they eat a lot of house pests, so now I leave them as pest killers, and I have an easy conscience. I saw one above my bed the other night, then I forgot about it!
 
I don't know how dangerous house spiders are in your country, I try not to kill anything. and so I used to take spiders outside. Then I found out that they eat a lot of house pests, so now I leave them as my own pest killer, and I have an easy conscience.
I can’t stand thinking that they might crawl into my bed or recliner, especially after last night, so I am choosing to kill them, as I don’t trust myself to catch and release them.
 
Either I’m feeling better, or am just getting used to feeling somewhat off. The rattling cough is back. The chest sore seems to be healing. The whatever it is on my palms is still there, though hard to see when they’re dry. The sprained foot feels like it’ll probably be okay in a couple of days. But this world is f***ed. I did enjoy giving a variety of people Morrissey sticky notes today. Five, in total. Keen, open minded young women are the most receptive, and the most gracious of the bunch. It’s delightful thinking that I’ve pointed the way to such people hearing and seeing Morrissey on YouTube.
 
Dismiss me with stereotyping
I’m a Quarter Pounder With Cheese
It’s probably this probably that
Let’s leave it at that
Wishful thinking is good enough for little Sharon
You must just have sensitive skin
Nothing sinister has been happening
It’s all in your mind
That some people are much worse than unkind
There’s no such thing as a slaughterhouse
Not in our world
That’s just make believe for thieves
Who want to steal our mindless peace
 
Are these Prince. lyrics 😜


Well I sure hope Prince had a song about 1 million extinct species wearing raspberry berets and nowt much else stashed away somewhere.
#MissyaSkipper.

(The flowers in the backyard are not dead, but they really don't look great!)
 
Tags
anxiety bloody awful poetry testing the waters trying to feel good in your own skin trying to make friends wanting to alleviate anxiety wanting to feel safe to be honest wanting to have integrity
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