The Drivel Thread

anyway, i like nicky wire!!
 
I find a lot of this is insecure attention seeking without much substance.
 
Inspiration is what I'm after. Inspiration to be brave. Who would I take a bullet for? See? None of you lot.
 
I'm daydreaming about a vegan kale caesar salad, and roasted vegetables. I went to see a play yesterday, and watched as two people tucked into tubes of chips, and I got vicarious pleasure seeing them pull out chip after chip from those tubes. I've been looking at menus online, of vegan restaurants, and salivating over them. I'm so looking forward to the night of May 25th at midnight, when I can begin to eat again. I'll probably start with a grapefruit, then sesame seeds, then soup, which I'll have made before midnight on the 25th, with red lentils, carrots, potatoes, broccoli, and zucchini, spiced with garam masala, garlic powder, onion powder, and sea salt.

But I want to try out several vegan restaurants, or, just frequent one I've been to that I like very much, and try different dishes there. Food, food, food! It's pleasurable to be wanting to eat while fasting, as long as the hunger pangs don't hurt, and this time around, they don't hurt, so it's just fun to think of what I intend to eat after May 25th.
 
I have a friend I'm going to make a great soup for, and as a bonus, for myself, with the works. Cilantro, green onion, yam, carrot, potato, broccoli, zucchini, tomato, topped with alfalfa sprouts and avocado, on the night of May 25th. I'll see him afterward, and will heat some up for him. It's becoming something I'm mainly planning to do for myself, and him as a bonus. The idea started with wanting to make something good for him, no, it was for us. He's a neighbour that I'm finding a lot in common with, and he's got a good sense of humour, seems gentle, and tries to take care of himself.
 
I have a friend I'm going to make a great soup for, and as a bonus, for myself, with the works. Cilantro, green onion, yam, carrot, potato, broccoli, zucchini, tomato, topped with alfalfa sprouts and avocado, on the night of May 25th. I'll see him afterward, and will heat some up for him. It's becoming something I'm mainly planning to do for myself, and him as a bonus. The idea started with wanting to make something good for him, no, it was for us. He's a neighbour that I'm finding a lot in common with, and he's got a good sense of humour, seems gentle, and tries to take care of himself.
"tries to take care of himself" LOL sounds promising! sounds like a catch!
 
In half an hour my 12th day of fasting begins. Just 9 more days to go.
I feel my heart beating and it's like the ticking of a clock towards the end of this fast.
 
I crave raw plain foods, like tomatoes, grapefruit, alfalfa sprouts, sesame seeds, cashews, leafy greens, red cabbage even, cucumber, zucchini, carrot, and avocado. In about an hour I'll be on day 14 of my fast, with just 7 days to go until I can slowly begin to eat again. My stomach's not hungry, but my mouth is voracious.
 
I've begun reading this book about the trap of foods laden with salt, oil, and sugar. They're extremely addictive. I'll post a review when I've finished it.
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Day 16 of fasting: I'm feeling good, but I can't walk up long uphill blocks fast or I have to stop to catch my breath for two minutes, as happened yesterday in front of two mental health workers. An expert on fasting, Alan Goldhamer, says to rest while on a prolonged fast, so, point taken. Thursday at midnight I begin to eat slowly and lightly. I'm very eager. Very, very eager. I want plain whole raw food only. So many vegetables, and some nuts and seeds, and grapefruit, maybe some banana, apple and orange. I want to eat so strongly, but the desire isn't coming from my stomach, but rather, my mouth. It wants to feel the texture of lettuce, for instance.
 
Tags
anxiety bloody awful poetry testing the waters trying to feel good in your own skin trying to make friends wanting to alleviate anxiety wanting to feel safe to be honest wanting to have integrity
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