The Drivel Thread

I just enjoyed watching some Morrissey videos. Knockabout World and Once I Saw the River Clean. I doubt I will sleep tonight. It’s 2:22 AM, and I don’t remember if I slept during the day yesterday. Dave is either being defensive, or is playing head games with me. Probably he’s just defensive. I’m quite sure of it, and he will look back and see he was, just as I did, when Baz and I had a marathon conversation and I got paranoid on him, and angry at him too, but later looked back and saw that he hadn’t offended me. I just read it that way while in the moment. Fortunately I didn’t lash out at Baz.
 
I will be working diligently, to become a butterfly, after snoozing in my cocoon for decades. I will be working so hard, to become what I want to be. What I want to be, is my secret, but I will tell you this: It is to become more than just a once or twice a year shoe fairy.

I want to be a force of nature, that gives back, for all the kindness I've received, and I've received a lot of kindness.

New shoes is just the tip of the iceberg, if I keep my word to myself, to make hay while the sun shines.
 
shit, you're wretched
 
I think Morrissey said that Brigitte Bardot is good to black widow spiders. He'd hate me for killing a wolf spider I guess.
 
It's watercolor. I have a painting and drawing thread.
 
If you hated me all that much, you would destroy the 3 paintings I made for you.
they've long since made their way to el dumpo. it's weird how you baselessly assume that i've kept them, even though i already told you i'd binned them. did you honestly think i couldnt part with them?? it was actually pretty easy. they werent that good.
 
they've long since made their way to el dumpo. it's weird how you baselessly assume that i've kept them, even though i already told you i'd binned them. did you honestly think i couldnt part with them?? it was actually pretty easy. they werent that good.
I must have had you on ignore at the time you told me before, because this is the first I've heard you say you've thrown them out. I'm glad that they're not with someone who doesn't really love them.
 
I saw him sitting on a bench in the rain
I wondered why he was there
I went home
And forgot about him
I didn't speak to him like I should have
He looked harmless
I don't remember why I said nothing to him
Maybe he was being abused by a roommate
Sitting out in the rain
With his eyes cast down
Maybe he was stoned
I'll never know
 
I saw him sitting on a bench in the rain
I wondered why he was there
I went home
And forgot about him
I didn't speak to him like I should have
He looked harmless
I don't remember why I said nothing to him
Maybe he was being abused by a roommate
Sitting out in the rain
With his eyes cast down
Maybe he was stoned
I'll never know
Did he looked stoned ???
 
Tags
anxiety bloody awful poetry testing the waters trying to feel good in your own skin trying to make friends wanting to alleviate anxiety wanting to feel safe to be honest wanting to have integrity
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