The biggest mistake people make in relationships

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therightone

Guest
no comment
 
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Silke

New Member
abusal of trust

And I often have a weak smile on my face when I hear women say that men fart, burb, do not listen and all these kind of things because they are men and it is in their genes. The ones who do so, do it because they (think they) are in the position to be able to do so and that they can get away with it.
 
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Scarlet Ibis

The Chicken of D.C.
Playing it cool. If you think you might have found someone you can envision spending a good portion of your life with you should be a big love-nerd and jump in head first. I've known SO many people who try to play it cool and remain detached because they think it's expected of them. It rarely works if you're actually in the market for a big relationship.
 

Thewlis

Junior Member
The biggest mistake people make in relationships?

Thinking their luck will last forever, when in fact it's just a year or two...
 

Scarlet Ibis

The Chicken of D.C.
The biggest mistake people make in relationships?

Thinking their luck will last forever, when in fact it's just a year or two...
Sometimes it lasts. It's not common, but it sometimes does.
 

SoVeryEntertainig

New Member
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With the wrong people. Yes.

Falling in love with assholes and then being too stupid to notice for years and years.

Not being perfectly honest with each other, compromising too much.
Being stupidly convinced that if you're doing your best the other party will, too. This is my case :head-smack:
 

EPbabe

Active Member
Trying to change the other person, and trying to change yourself for someone.
This, and it's pretty common for women. We keep on thinking we can "save" the other person from themselves.
 

Seasick

Member
Poor communication. Apathy. Dishonesty. Settling. Jealousy. Too controlling. Smothering.

They all contribute to a poor relationship. Some are more prevalent at different points in a relationship.
 

Skinner

RIP The Rev
abusal of trust

And I often have a weak smile on my face when I hear women say that men fart, burb, do not listen and all these kind of things because they are men and it is in their genes. The ones who do so, do it because they (think they) are in the position to be able to do so and that they can get away with it.
Can you please verify what you mean by the farting, burping thing? I'm confused by what you mean here. If men are wrong for burping or farting in front of their partners, then I guess I'm going to hell. I don't mind it. I think it's a sign of how comfortable and open you are with a person. A good test, can the woman do it and it's thought of as cute or funny? As strange as it sounds, to me, that is a very good way to tell how strong your connection actually is and if you truely are on "the same level" with the person in terms of comfort etc. Anyone else know what I mean?

The biggest mistake people make in relationships?

Thinking their luck will last forever, when in fact it's just a year or two...
Or in my case, 3 years tops. Once I get to 1.5-2 years it starts to get rocky. I hope this time it's not the case as well...:squiffy:

Trying to change the other person, and trying to change yourself for someone.
Fair enough. Never change for someone. And never think you can change someone. If they are in a rut and not willing to work with you/treat you with respect, that will likely not change. No need sticking around. I know this.
 

penfoldsfive

resident alien
to find a woman who thought she could "save" me and actually want to do it would be a refreshing change. people really seem to be full of the wisdom that comes without any experience these days. as for the original question the biggest mistake people usually make is not saying no in the first place
 
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Silke

New Member
analysing everything.

example: If they leave the toilet seat up, they may be a good cook.

You are not perfect, so why should a couple be?
The actual seat that you sit on? How does this make you a good cook?
 

Silke

New Member
The actual seat that you sit on? How does this make you a good cook?
We all have a good and bad side.. people expect too much of each other.

I think all relationships have a shelf life.. but slightly stale can still be ok.
Well, a relationship has its dynamics of its own. And as with group dynamics you have to find your own rules. I once shared a flat with a guy for two weeks while I was looking for a flat of my own and he kept going on about how I squeeze out my toothpaste. It was my toothpaste, not his. I felt like being in some sad comedy.

Toilet seat, you know, well, maybe it is not so much the seat that bothers but what it stands for. I can imagine, but that's only an assumption, that the person would not bother about the seat at all if the person who put the toilet seat up is the one who cleans the toilet.

A well known actress whom I once worked with found a great solution, she and her longterm partner live in different houses. :p
 

mick ransommich

New Member
Well, a relationship has its dynamics of its own. And as with group dynamics you have to find your own rules. I once shared a flat with a guy for two weeks while I was looking for a flat of my own and he kept going on about how I squeeze out my toothpaste. It was my toothpaste, not his. I felt like being in some sad comedy.

Toilet seat, you know, well, maybe it is not so much the seat that bothers but what it stands for. I can imagine, but that's only an assumption, that the person would not bother about the seat at all if the person who put the toilet seat up is the one who cleans the toilet.

A well known actress whom I once worked with found a great solution, she and her longterm partner live in different houses. :p
Yes Silke.
I think the act of cleaning the toilet demands respect. Leaving the seat up (or just generally not leaving it as you found it) maybe shows a kind of disregard or unappreciation of the cleaners' work.
It's little things like this that really matter in a relationship. Not the act of leaving the toilet seat up, more the oblivious attitude of the seat leaver-upper.
 

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