I have often found myself feeling more positive and joyful about life by being kind to people, i used to adopt this defensive and careless attitude about everyone i stumbled upon, always putting myself first, and that was usually misunderstood with arrogance which made me even less approachable.
I am now a believer of the theory that what you get is what you give out. Things that I was oblivious about suddenly started having a meaning when I forced myself into appreciating the simple things around me.
Humankind has managed to come up with an infinite amount of desires but they are all based on limited amount of needs, you have to learn how to fulfill a need with what you can offer, making specific and concrete plans to achieve them without asking more than you can actually spare. You cannot long for total happiness and just go ask the universe or pray to God to give it to you if you don't know what is it that is going to make you happy.
The key is when to stop thinking that your need is not fulfilled because you will always tend to materialize it into another desire, mostly if you compare what you have with what others have (you're bound to lose that most likely).
I still tend to lock myself in my own world and withdraw but I no longer feel like isolating myself to death, at least I try to take a little time to call the people I cherish (believe me, I've lost a lot of friends which I regret) and even if that affection is ephemeral I know that if it passes it won't be because I lost them but because they lost me. Relationships are give and take and so is everything, just don't expect anything back, it'll inexorably bounce back to you.
The concept of total happiness is a subjective and abstract thing.... you can only count with happy and unhappy moments basically, and the healthier and peaceful your state of mind is the more happy moments you'll find yourself having, they won't spring out of the blue, they'll just stop passing by unnoticeably.
No one can make you happy but your self (yeah even cliches are sometimes true)
"They can kill me but they can't stop me and so forth..."
> These feelings and anxietys of life are so familular. Is there a
> secret to happiness and total fullfilment? This is a question i
> have asked myself so often, and still regularly question. Could
> life improve, could i find happiness and total fullfillment,
> could it be possible to find love and to share life with
> another, to experiance emotions that only seems to happen to
> others, to be confident and find certain experiance in life not
> such a horrendous experiance, to be loved by people and not
> desire to be loved by others all the while, to not compare
> yourself to everyone and always fail.
> The amount of days i have spent with these questions and
> dielemas spinning around my head making life even harder to
> funtion in bringing me down makeing me ill and tired not
> contacting people and withdrawing from life.
> One of the worst things is to analyse where everything went
> wrong what could have been and how different life could have
> been. This type of self anlyisation only ends up in misery.
> so friend, i have no answers but believe me i know the pain and
> im sure there are a few overs in the same position (i know thats
> know great comfort) but i think your quite right stop planning
> and longing for this elusive miracle to happen desperation only
> makes things a lot harder to deal with and maybe on day you
> might see light at the and of tunnel, if not you haven't lost
> any thing.
> its no joke, god i know that, but keep in there friend.
ffering us a home, rest, being - but life is always a becoming,never a being.in life,the expectation is the best part.the best philosphy in life is this:stop desiring,wanting,hoping and the you'll stop regreting and pinning;if you cancell out the future,you cancell out the past.