Suicide

M

Mike Mozfan

Guest
I am finally at a loss for words. My critics will like that.

A great friend of mine, John O'Medelina, age twenty-seven, committed suicide Tuesday night with a self-inflicted gunshot to the chest. He was fat. He was gay. And his family hated him for it. He was also one of the most selfless, loving individuals on the planet. He dedicated his life to AIDS project, and nursing, in fact he had just completed his LPN and was working on his RN. He worked long hours in hospice and private care looking after the dying and making them more comfortable in their last days. I guess I just don't understand WHY after knowing the precious value of life, WHY would he take his own?
Here's to you John: wherever you are, know that myself and so many people will always love you.
 
I am sorry Mike for your loss. My prayers go out to you and his family.
 
> Mike, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I know you don't understand WHY. You probably never will. Sometimes people just cannot take the pain anymore and it overcomes them. There are many supportive networks on the internet for ones who have lost a loved one to suicide. My heart goes out to you and your friends family, and I hope that you will be OK.
A friend.
 
Mike, I am sure you will be going through so many emotions... When someone is so lost in pain it is too much to even reach out..
There are NOT always signs that someone is considering taking his own life. I am sure you were a great friend to him...Please remember to take care of yourself.
 
> I am finally at a loss for words. My critics will like that.

> A great friend of mine, John O'Medelina, age twenty-seven,
> committed suicide Tuesday night with a self-inflicted gunshot to
> the chest. He was fat. He was gay. And his family hated him for
> it. He was also one of the most selfless, loving individuals on
> the planet. He dedicated his life to AIDS project, and nursing,
> in fact he had just completed his LPN and was working on his RN.
> He worked long hours in hospice and private care looking after
> the dying and making them more comfortable in their last days. I
> guess I just don't understand WHY after knowing the precious
> value of life, WHY would he take his own?
> Here's to you John: wherever you are, know that myself and so
> many people will always love you.
My Dear Mikey, I just want to say again how horribly sorry and sad I am about your loss. I want you to know that you are an extremely valuable and wonderful human being, and that YOU KNOW I will always be here for you, sweetie. I was upset all day after you called me with the news. I will ALWAYS be here for you. Love, Kali
 
to Mike

your friend John will live on in the hearts of those he touched with his kindness and love. one can never really understand an event so tragic. focus on the wonderful memories of John, and carry the love he shared with you always.
 
> I am finally at a loss for words. My critics will like that.

> A great friend of mine, John O'Medelina, age twenty-seven,
> committed suicide Tuesday night with a self-inflicted gunshot to
> the chest. He was fat. He was gay. And his family hated him for
> it. He was also one of the most selfless, loving individuals on
> the planet. He dedicated his life to AIDS project, and nursing,
> in fact he had just completed his LPN and was working on his RN.
> He worked long hours in hospice and private care looking after
> the dying and making them more comfortable in their last days. I
> guess I just don't understand WHY after knowing the precious
> value of life, WHY would he take his own?
> Here's to you John: wherever you are, know that myself and so
> many people will always love you.

I always Feel terribly hurt when i hear of anyone taking their own Life.I had a friend who did the same about 3 years ago.. noone really knew why she did it but Alot of people were really cruel to her for no reason. Its just heartbreaking to know such great human beings could take their own lifes because they are in so much pain. I could never think of why she would do such a thing but you can never know what is going through a persons mind..

I'm sure you will always remember what a good person your friend was. Maybe you should continue the things he was working so hard for? Such as helping out in the hospice.. I'm sure your friend would have greatly appreciated that. Anyway i know you dont know me but if you ever want to talk to someone about it feel free to email me... ~crystal
 
The Man really sounded like a sweetheart and a person like that
will not be easily forgotten, even by me, and i did'nt even
know him..Yes people are very cruel creatures, we go about
making ourselves..(well not all of us, you know what type
of people i'm talking about)..look better then anyone who's
diffrent and doesnt fit a particular mold and are abused for
many varied reasons. Some people are naturally strong and can
grow from this sort of treatment, or with the help of friends..
some people can't handle the pain and aren't strong. John sounded like a wonderful person, but, sadly, he wasn't
able to handle it. When i was younger and even now..i am
ridiculed ALL the time and put down, just because of how i look
and act..and it's very hurtful, but i have learned how to handle
it..when i was in my early teens and a bit earlier then that i
was very depressed and would think about death so much because
everyone was so horrible to me..it's such a shame your friend
wasn't able to deal with this..and most likely, more internal
issues that one can not understand except for him. I feel your
pain and i will keep his memory in my mind forever..

love,
nicky
 
John, wherever your at. I understand why you did it.

"God come down, if your really there, well your the one who claims to care"- Morrissey
 
Re: An important message to Mike

> I am finally at a loss for words. My critics will like that.

> A great friend of mine, John O'Medelina, age twenty-seven,
> committed suicide Tuesday night with a self-inflicted gunshot to
> the chest. He was fat. He was gay. And his family hated him for
> it. He was also one of the most selfless, loving individuals on
> the planet. He dedicated his life to AIDS project, and nursing,
> in fact he had just completed his LPN and was working on his RN.
> He worked long hours in hospice and private care looking after
> the dying and making them more comfortable in their last days. I
> guess I just don't understand WHY after knowing the precious
> value of life, WHY would he take his own?
> Here's to you John: wherever you are, know that myself and so
> many people will always love you.

I am very sorry about your friend Mike. I know what it is like because I once had a wonderful friend during High School named Kim. She was a beautiful girl on the inside and out. After high school, I partied with her the night before she left for college out of state. That was the last time I ever saw her because during school that year, she hung herself with wire that she was using for a sculpture in a class project. I still can not understand, believe, comprehend, or forgive her for that. She not only took her life, but took something away from everybody who loved her. This was like 4 years ago, and it's still hard to deal with. It just takes time, and don't even try to understand it. You never will. Just take it day by day, and know that your friend knew that you loved him. He just could not take the sickness he felt inside of his own head. That is not your fault at all. There is no goodness about his death, but try to think about all the positive and wonderful ways that this person affected you and your life while he was alive, and that is something so beautiful that not even the absence of his physical presence can change. I know it's not very easy, but keep that in mind. Even though he is not here in body now, he will always be in your presense. It sounds corny and lame but it is so true. You will know when he is around you, and it is a wonderful feeling, even though it's very painful right now.
 
For Mike

I'm very sad to hear that Mike. Sounds like you had a wonderful friend in your life.Many people that commit suicide have no hope that things will get better. Life won't always be the way the way it is at that time (even if it means growing up in it).If you feel that way, then what else is there. REVELATION 21:3,4. One day none of us will be in that kind of pain anymore.I'm not trying to preach to you, just trying to give you hope that maybe one day you'll see your friend again.Psalms 83:18.

> I am finally at a loss for words. My critics will like that.

> A great friend of mine, John O'Medelina, age twenty-seven,
> committed suicide Tuesday night with a self-inflicted gunshot to
> the chest. He was fat. He was gay. And his family hated him for
> it. He was also one of the most selfless, loving individuals on
> the planet. He dedicated his life to AIDS project, and nursing,
> in fact he had just completed his LPN and was working on his RN.
> He worked long hours in hospice and private care looking after
> the dying and making them more comfortable in their last days. I
> guess I just don't understand WHY after knowing the precious
> value of life, WHY would he take his own?
> Here's to you John: wherever you are, know that myself and so
> many people will always love you.
 
Re: An important message to Mike

> I am very sorry about your friend Mike. I know what it is like
> because I once had a wonderful friend during High School named
> Kim. She was a beautiful girl on the inside and out. After high
> school, I partied with her the night before she left for college
> out of state. That was the last time I ever saw her because
> during school that year, she hung herself with wire that she was
> using for a sculpture in a class project. I still can not
> understand, believe, comprehend, or forgive her for that. She
> not only took her life, but took something away from everybody
> who loved her. This was like 4 years ago, and it's still hard to
> deal with. It just takes time, and don't even try to understand
> it. You never will. Just take it day by day, and know that your
> friend knew that you loved him. He just could not take the
> sickness he felt inside of his own head. That is not your fault
> at all. There is no goodness about his death, but try to think
> about all the positive and wonderful ways that this person
> affected you and your life while he was alive, and that is
> something so beautiful that not even the absence of his physical
> presence can change. I know it's not very easy, but keep that in
> mind. Even though he is not here in body now, he will always be
> in your presense. It sounds corny and lame but it is so true.
> You will know when he is around you, and it is a wonderful
> feeling, even though it's very painful right now.

I have no idea what to say, other than I am deeply sorry to hear of this tragic loss. Take some comfort in knowing that he is somewhere more loving and accepting now. Take Care, Mike
Sincerely,
James.
 
Mike, this must be the one of the most difficult things a person can face. I can't say I understand your pain, but I offer my prayers and sympathy to you. You can see by the posts that the people here, while sometimes petty, are human and understanding. So, I wish you the best and the strength--God bless you and your friend.
 
I've been in a similar situation...

Be strong,

preserve all of your memories,

be available to his family & friends,

...and resist the temptation to blame yourself. You were undoubtedly a highly positive influence on his life.
 
Re: Suicide is not bad at all

ha ha, oh well. someone had to say it
 
To Three Storms

> ha ha, oh well. someone had to say it

Nothing must pass this line
unless it is well defined
you just have to be resigned
you're crashing by design

you once believed that crazy accidents
were happening to you
you were chasing a capricious wind
whenever bad luck and trouble
happened to pursue you
the dice would surely save your skin
but when you look back you must realize
that NOTHING in your life's devine
everything thats befallen you
happened simply cuz it crossed your mind

in your single roomed flat
in a courtyard building
you sit alone just like a crazy broken boy
where's your mother? where's your lover?
are you a man or still a boy?
who left you behind, or did you run
from the crush of so many options?
Now you know the special despair of the man
discussed, debated and offered for addoption

another man without a woman
dropped like a tool no longer required
a man who longs for the stifling
milk flowered bosom, a fool
whose no longer desired

another man without a woman
too many rages have cost you this time
another man among a hundred children
you're just a child whose lost in time
it all happens by design
 
Mike,

I feel your pain(with teary eyes) and it's too close to home.In my case you well know that I lost my best friend in a car accident.
He too was the sweetest and kindest person ever.Although,he always thought of suicide.I always kept him from doing it showing him that I loved him,his mom, and his friends too.I think the man upstairs took him for some reason and maybe so did your friend.Cesare was gay,shy,wore glasses, was constantly being made fun off by people too.
The heart and love this gentle being had was enough to over see his exterior look.Mike,you know now they both take care of us and when it's our time to go what a conforting feeling to know that both john and cesare will be waiting for us with open arms.

IN LOVING MEMORY TO OUR BELOVED FRIENDS

CESARE RUFINO AND JOHN O'MEDELINA
 
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