GirlAfraidWillNeverLearn
Well-Known Member
The whole story, complete with fuming 'lodger' aftermath, would make such a good film scene.
I don't know if Reader Meet Author was really inspired by this most memorable meeting (perhaps M would like to clarify...?
), but the thought of Julie's punch finding its way into the lyrics, even if only indirectly, is most satisfying to me & will probably be the climax of my weekend...... together with this recollection by Miss Burchill herself, that I found. Who knew they became pen pals? Quite surprising given the tone of Morrissey's writing about her in Autobiography...
'I ask about the time when one of my idols Morrissey walked through her door unannounced back in 1994 to a frosty reception.....
"God I`d forgotten about that! That was like a very very bad marriage in three quarters of an hour:- imagine the play Who`s Afraid of Virginia Woolf in the space of three quarters of an hour. It's not your dream; you're in love with someone for five years and they turn up and we start arguing about whether you should put milk in Earl Grey tea or not. I knew I had to get him out before he visited the bathroom; 'Why do you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom?' f*** off!"
Julie wrote an acerbic piece about their encounter at the time. For "acerbic" read "hatchet job". Incredibly; given Morrissey's famed propensity for dropping people who`ve offended him at the drop of a daff they've restarted a friendly e-mail correspondence over the past few years. Clearly he couldn`t resist someone who's even better at bitching about people than he is.
"I adore the man. He seems to be very civilised now; he seems more happy. Isn`t it funny it took America to make him more relaxed? I said to him, 'You've grown into your looks, you look like someone's sexy uncle that you`d get off with at a wedding.' And he said in his brilliantly witty way 'Why do you think I go to so many weddings - known to me are not?' What a wonderfully Morrissey thing to say. Would you sleep with Morrissey if he asked and you were gay? If he was straight and I was single I still think I wouldn`t do it. I`d just be thinking 'Oh f*** its Morrissey!' the whole time."
Well, I must confess since early teenhood I`d always thought he's the one man who just might "turn my head" as it were....
"You would?! But you`d have to slap him round a bit afterwards!! That`s what Madonna said about Billy Ray Cyrus. She said 'I`d do him, but I`d have to slap him round a bit and make him cry afterwards because of Achey Breaky Heart' and I`d have to do that to Morrissey because - what`s the crap thing he's done?- Bengali In Platforms? Course he's a genius, but you wouldn`t wanna live with him would you?"
Taken from a piece by Ben Granger, originally published in Spike Magazine, 2005.
I think I'm gonna have a lie-down to digest all this midday excitement...
Last edited:
