roommate advice please

Discussion in 'Off-topic archive (read-only)' started by nugz, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    So I moved into this house in South Philly a couple months ago. I found the house/roommate through craigslist but as it turned out, I ended up sorta knowing the chick from mutual friends, but didnt know her real well. Well so far everything has been going okay. I mean, there's always gonna be the usual little annoyances, but for the most part, no problems. It's just the two of us, and theres a small middle bedroom, but she uses it as a study.

    So the other day she sits me down to talk to me about something. My roommate is in grad school and soon after we moved in she had a little get together with some of her class mates and i met some of them. One of them was this Chinese girl that barely spoke English that moved to Philly just to go to school. She came with her husband. They were nice enough and on the quiet side. Well she tells me that apparently her husband wants a divorce and is kicking her out in 3 weeks and she has no where to live. Long story short, she said she was thinking about having this girl move in with us for 6 months, until the end of the semester.

    Now one of my main concerns when I was looking for a place to live was that i only wanted ONE roommate...unless it was some ideal setup, and then maybe I'd have two. But for the most part, I really only wanted one. and I was willing to pay more rent to have just one roommate. I couldve moved in somewhere and paid less and had 2 or 3 roommate, but i opted to not do that. So my roommate wants to move this chick in, that I don't even know, for 6 months. I'm just getting used to living here myself, and my roommate and I are still getting used to eachothers schedules and sorting out house responsibilities and who does what when and all that stuff. When I brought up the fact that lots of college students look for roommates for just semester very often, she said that this girl did not wanna move in with someone she didnt know. (my thoughts....tough shit, not my problem.) but i didnt say that. she also brought up the point that the one advantage for me would be that my bills would be less b/c it would be split amongst three. And also threw in that it would help out HER financially for bills (so she says) with the extra money. I thought this was kinda shitty b/c she wouldnt dock my rent although I would have the inconvenience of living with a 3rd roommate, when if I was willing to put up with that sort of inconvenience in the first place, I could've originally set out to find a place with 2 or more roommates and paid much less in rent.

    its her house, so I guess she could technically do whatever the fuck she wants. but I find this kinda shitty. and if I put my foot down and say "no i dont want a 3rd roommate" ultimately it's her decision and she could have her move in anyway and I just look like the bitch. she's acting like she really wants to help this girl, but I think maybe she just wants extra cash.

    what should I do? i hate to create waves and make an uncomfortable living situation, but I don't want a 3rd roommate, especially if my rent stays the same. I didnt sign up for this.
     
  2. oye terence

    oye terence ampersand after ampersand

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    Admit it, you just do not want some Chinese lady in your house.I expected better from you, Nugz.Shame on you.
     
  3. troubleluvsme

    troubleluvsme giddyup

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    That sucks.

    Did you sign a lease and if so, does it address additional roommates, etc?
     
  4. troubleluvsme

    troubleluvsme giddyup

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  5. Kelley

    Kelley low life in high heels

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    I don't get why your rent wouldn't be affected by this chick moving in. That's the only way I'd consider being agreeable. And if saving money doesn't concern you either way then I'd make a stink.
     
  6. Dave

    Dave Guest

    It is her house so she can do whatever. Maybe you should move.
     
  7. CrystalGeezer

    CrystalGeezer My secret's my enzyme.

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    Hilarious. I'm confused by #10 though. :confused:

    My initial thought was no big deal, but once you mentioned that it's going to help her with the bills, I think she's looking out for #1 and you should bring up that a rent decrease should be in order for you as well, it's only fair. And I have a feeling that if things are that tight for her, no doubt 6 months will turn into a year and so and and so forth...maybe you should start looking for another place to live if she doesn't work with you on this. :straightface:
     
  8. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    no i didn't sign a lease. we have a month to month agreement. which I'm fine with. I mean, Dave is right...like i said in my initial post, she can technically do whatever she wants since it's her house. But if I decide to bring this up, I just wanted to make sure that I had a case. I didn't want to sound like I had an unreasonable concern.

    and also, I really don't want to move. I've only been here two months and it's a pain in the ass the move and except for the fact that she talks too much, the living situation really isn't bad at all... I really don't want to have to move....
     
  9. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    you got me terence. i'm embarrassed. :o


    in other news. go phils! :thumb:
     
  10. Dave

    Dave Guest

    There is no way you should stay without your rent being recalculated. For me the problem would be just having another person in the area where I was trying to relax, because sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone or even have a chance of making eye contact. :lbf:
     
  11. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    I'm the same way. Most nights I come home from work and head straight up to my room and hide. I hate to be anti social but I like my alone time. Its hard enough to try to avoid one roommate...let alone two. ugh. :cool:



    so, question for everyone. if i bring this up, i need to have a solid legitimate reason. I need to have a good answer for why my rent should be lowered. any advice on what I should say? i hate even making this thread, but i've never been in this situation before and I dont want to make my living situation unlivable. and my roommate is the type of person that would not hold back from turning into mega bitch. I have never seen the mega bitch side of her, but I just get that sense. shes very nice, but she doesnt hold back either. I need to be prepared.

    oh and i know this is one of those annoying threads, so thank you to everyone who has responded (cept terence :p)
     
  12. Dave

    Dave Guest

    It's very simple. You were getting a certain value for your money and now you will be getting less. It's something that everyone would just assume, that the rent would lower.

    This is beside the point but I would like to know if she is more motivated for compassion for this friend, or a chance to make some money for a few months? That would just be interesting to know.

    I would think about the things you will give up. Make a list. Don't necessarily show the list, but have something you are familiar with when you talk. You will have to share things, hear the tv, hear the shower, share the bathroom, more noise, possibly hearing her problems, parking, less alone time... maybe more you can think of and maybe some better way to state those.

    Then if you decide to do this, go into it with a positive attitude that you will both be saving some money. Practice what you are going to say with someone who can help you polish it so that it's simply the right position to take.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2009
  13. CrystalGeezer

    CrystalGeezer My secret's my enzyme.

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    Can you hear the fireworks now? :p Can you hear that bell ringing?
     
  14. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    shes acting like she wants to help this girl but the fact that shes brought up her financial situation like, 3 times makes me think shes just in it for herself. she kept mentioning how my bills would be cheaper (well fucking duh) but that doesnt really interest me. I can afford the bills as they are, so its not a selling point. i would love to flat out ask her, but like i said, i don't want to make an uncomfortable living situation for myself.

    p.s. her financial situation: she got laid off a while back, shes on unemployment now. thats why shes doing a one year MBA program

    haha, i did hear fireworks! :thumb:
     
  15. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    i see you updated your post...

    if i knew my rent would be lowered, that would be different. saving money on the utilities does not interest me. saving some money on rent AND utilities...okay maybe i can deal. know what i mean?
     
  16. Mozzer's Left Eyebrow

    Mozzer's Left Eyebrow Yes, I Am Pined

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    It would be interesting to know but it doesn't really change the situation. It's just a question of human decency - I think any reasonable person would understand your concerns. I wouldn't want an extra flatmate for the same rent, it's not like you know or owe these people anything. I notice you mentioned the husband as well, if there's dramazzz on that front he'll probably end up there for half the week as well.:lbf: Nugz, you know how you feel about the situation, I think the best thing is just to commit yourself to one course of action and dig your heels in a little. Be firm without getting too het up. If you've been in that place two months it's better to know where you stand early on than later - if you end up getting shafted on this, you'll know it's time to leave. If your landlord ends up being an a-hole over the whole thing then imagine what it will be like trying to get your deposit back and so on. Just be glad you're not tied in to a 12 month contract.
     
  17. Dave

    Dave Guest

    So she may be running through some savings or something. Unemployment runs out in six months here. Before you did someone else rent from her or did she just do it because she is laid off now?

    I guess another question is, if this was the arrangement when you moved in, your current rent, but another roommate sharing bills, would you have accepted it?

    I wonder how much rent the third woman will be paying?
     
  18. CrystalGeezer

    CrystalGeezer My secret's my enzyme.

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    It's a sign you should bring it up to her. :D No but really, if you told her just what you told us, that you had options for lower rent/more roommate situations that you turned down in exchange for the calm of only one roommate, I think she'd get the hint that you aren't satisfied with the situation without sounding like a bitch. And she should offer reduced rent. If she doesn't you could plea bargain, say, "You know Chatty Cathy, if the situation is such that she's still our roommate after 6 months, I expect a rent reduction for the inconvenience." That way your giving, but laying down the law. THis is assuming she won't offer if you tell her first off that this isn't the situation you agreed to in the first place. Does that make sense?
     
  19. Cassius

    Cassius New Member

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    Keep in mind, if she's going to do stuff like this to you after you've only been there two months, she might do other things later on and maybe you should reconsider where you live. I know it's a pain in the ass to move, and I'm not saying that you should leave right now, but maybe keep a look out for places. I think it's kind of shitty for her to bring someone else in--even if it is her house, she should be at the very least considerate of you being there, especially if you are paying rent. You aren't staying there out of the goodness of her heart. You're paying rent, you should get certain things. If she's going to do things like this out of nowhere who knows what she might try to do later on.
     
  20. nugz

    nugz SUPAHSTAR!

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    before me she had a roommate for a year or so, but had to kick her out cuz apparently she turned into a raging drug addict after her b/f dumped her.

    if there was any arrangement including a 3rd roommate i wouldve declined. like i said, there were certain instances where a 3rd roommate wouldve been okay (ideal location. both super awesome roommates, etc) but thats not how it turned out. 1 decent roommate, for a decent location, affordable rent...i accepted, ha. this chinese chick with 3 weeks notice...nah. didnt want this.

    crystal. what you said does make sense (FOR ONCE :p oh so kidding, im teasing cuz i like you :)) buuuut, for me 6 months is long enough where the rent shoudl be reduced from the get go. i did not ever expect this. this is a 3 weeks notice thing. not cool.
     
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