Post Whatever You Are Thinking At This Very Moment

had lunch with my old man friend today. I thought it was going to be weird but it was alright. he's a very nice person and we talked about me most of the time so that helped. also, the food was good.
 
Nothing is natural with me. Every reaction has been rehearsed and choreographed. It's been years in the making. Everything I do is from a set text. Everything is done for effect.
I'd ask you to consider if this is true. It sounds like something to feel in control. But maybe you're right.
 
I don't mind people seeing what I think, I just don't want them seeing the methods I deploy in the process. It's embarrassing to let people know you think about thinking. It's embarrassing to admit you spend countless hours contemplating life in a cool detached way and still come out and act the clown. There's a lot of work that goes into being a clown. If people could see the machinations behind it they'd call me a fraud.
What if people did call you a fraud?
That's sad about writing notebooks and destroying it. I did that once.
I kind of wrote some things I was working out and this was before everyone had a computer so it was written with pen in notebooks. It was about five notebooks full and then once I'd written it I didn't want anyone to read it so I went for a walk with my dog with the notebooks. I was next to this river on a dirt road between two fields and I threw the notebooks in the river. They floated. And just then this car pulled off the highway onto the dirt road. It was a farmer. He got out of the car and was looking around and all the books floated right by him so it had to be so obvious I threw them away. Once I wrote it it's like I was over it and I didn't need to read it again. It might be interesting to know if I would see things differently now but I don't think I would have wanted to drag those books around with me anyway.
 
I don't know truth. It's as though I'm in a movie watching myself over my shoulder. Assessing the impact of what I'm doing and saying, ever vigilant, ever wanting a result. Playing it out and never succumbing. Today I'm going to be vulnerable, tomorrow I'm going to be unapproachable, yesterday ill be conciliatory. The cards are marked before I start.
There is a name for that. I forget right now but I'll post it when I remember.
 
What if people did call you a fraud?
That's sad about writing notebooks and destroying it. I did that once.
I kind of wrote some things I was working out and this was before everyone had a computer so it was written with pen in notebooks. It was about five notebooks full and then once I'd written it I didn't want anyone to read it so I went for a walk with my dog with the notebooks. I was next to this river on a dirt road between two fields and I threw the notebooks in the river. They floated. And just then this car pulled off the highway onto the dirt road. It was a farmer. He got out of the car and was looking around and all the books floated right by him so it had to be so obvious I threw them away. Once I wrote it it's like I was over it and I didn't need to read it again. It might be interesting to know if I would see things differently now but I don't think I would have wanted to drag those books around with me anyway.
I threw away a lot of pen writings too. I had a mold problem and all paper was contaminated. The next time, a certain antipsychotic medication I was on made me feel like throwing almost everything sentimental away.
 
had lunch with my old man friend today. I thought it was going to be weird but it was alright. he's a very nice person and we talked about me most of the time so that helped. also, the food was good.
So you got laid at last, whopee slow clap.
 
When I strip danced, sometimes I was a go getter, but at other times I could be found hiding from the customers in a bathroom cubicle crying. One fellow stripper thought I'd had a miscarriage because there was so much water on the floor from my tears.
Cannot even imagine what it is like.
 
after looking at some of the sites I've decided that this probably isn't really my kind of thing. AT ALL. I think ill just stick to being a best selling novelist! thanks though!
If you were going to be a best-selling novelist you would’ve been one already. People who have a real talent and passion for writing, write every day and they’re very disciplined; they don’t wait till the circumstances are perfect because you know what, they never will be perfect.
 
It's as though it's a crime to be seen to be taking life seriously. I'd rather be found with drugs than be caught with any incriminating evidence suggesting I was thinking about how to go about living life effectively. Yet I can talk about these things here. It's always embarrassing to let people see your technique. To let people see you've thought things through, and are edging your bets on a stock response. Engineering responses. Playing safe. Knowing how far to go. Knowing what will make people react in a certain way. Basically, playing a game. Living life as a movie with the ending you filmed beforehand.
To me life is an unpredictable dance that I try to execute gracefully and graciously.
 
Today it became clear that Greta and the kids are against people becoming millionaires. That is what this is about and it's the same old marxists we've seen for ages who are backing this up.
They are all jealous of people that made it and many of those people are behind companies creating technology that will come up with solutions that is good for the climate.
Communism will never ever save the planet, only capitalism is able to spur on innovations and change. Greta and her people are on the wrong side of history and really believe they can force people to stop living life the way they want to.
War is more likely than them dictating things. They have no clue what they are up against.
 
If you were going to be a best-selling novelist you would’ve been one already. People who have a real talent and passion for writing, write every day and they’re very disciplined; they don’t wait till the circumstances are perfect because you know what, they never will be perfect.
They all rise early and write for a few hours. But only after a jewish publisher have approved of their ideas and they have written at least one book about the hollyhoax and if the writer is not jewish they have to pay at least 50% of any earnings to the jewish publisher.
You would be baffled if you checked out all the publishers of the world and who runs them. They used books as a way to gain popularity and acceptance and spread lies but the tide has turned and more and more people realise this.
I know this is offensive to you who married one but he was not a power elite jew and ordinary jews are looked down on by the power elite as much as they look down on goyims like you and me.
We really need to burn all the books again.
 
In Sweden we need Bank ID to order pizzas and kebabs online so I never do it anymore. Most if not all those places have issues with hygiene and as soon as the health authorities inspect them they have to close for days or weeks.
I have been told muslim men place their own cum in white sauce for kebabs. Maybe that is why they look so happy when people order it.
 
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