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It looks like I’m giving my mother nothing but a bag full of pretty paper for Mother’s Day, but I swear something special is in there! I’m just trying to hide the top of the gift.
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That is very thoughtful and looks really nice
 
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Your entire posting history is a showcase of you consistently contradicting yourself on every subject, so how about just zipping up your lip from here on out to save yourself from further embarrassment?

For the record, Ariana Grande is four years younger than me, and she is bratty. Aubrey saying I insinuated that he's a ped0ph!le, taking offence and considering reporting me for it but deciding then to respond by insinuating that I might be one, is exactly the kind of genius reply I've come to expect from him.
just put me on ignore if you have a problem with my posting style. not fussed!
 
I know Born to Harangue that you meant to mark my great 2023 Eurovision review as INSlGHTFUL and that you only used fluorescent bright orange angry face to evidence how fluorescently incensed all of us are that insightful was so unhelpfully confiscated!
 
I was feeling really guilty about posting UK Daytime TV Presenter gossip on here - it genuinely came from someone who worked on a UK Daytime TV Show who was in an arts admin group - but I didn't realise that it was being fed into a demented New World Order QAnon far right narrative that was engulfing some otherwise sane people.

So, I feel slightly better that some of the details are coming out & are likely to be true.

But, also, just sad that this kind of scandal even exists.
 
My Eurovision review

Highlights:

(1) Verka Serduchka and Go_A from Ukraine performing (a few seconds of) their entries from 2007/2021. They should both have won their respective years. I mean, I love Verka. Sieben, sieben, eins, zwei!!! ❤️ TANZEN, SCHMANZEN!

(2) The Austrian song. Who the hell is Edgar POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE POE??? :lbf:

(3) The French reaction to the public vote. :lbf:

I’d managed to avoid hearing the Swedish song before last night. It was an interesting mash-up of Eurodance/Sia/soul/Edward Scissorhands. A very competent song that ticked all the Eurovision boxes, but like everything Swedish (with the notable exception of ABBA) lacking in charm. Also, how spaced out and downright rude was she during the interviews with her short and weird answers?

Notable: ze Germanz didn’t wave their national flag during the intro. Everybody else did. When will Germany stop apologising for existing?
 
I would write a Eurovision review but I'm burned out on Eurovision after watching over eight hours of it over the past six days. Let me just say a few things quickly because my phone's battery is about to die anyway (currently at 9%, I'll keep writing until it's at 2%). The standard this year wasn't close to 2021's; that year I was still thinking about the competition and listening to its songs over a week after it was finished. I had to give scanty an angry face reaction because Loreen's song was easily the best (!), Germany's wasn't the worst but the lyrics to 'Blood and Glitter' are meaningless even by Eurovision standards. The Verka act might as well have won Eurovision in 2007 because they have shown up during the intermission multiple times since then and the actual 2007 winner is never mentioned. My second favourite last night was France and I blame the staging for why it finished in 16th. You're not going to be able to connect fully with an audience while you're standing up on a plinth and can barely move. I couldn't blame Loreen for her stilted answers, there's not much you can say when you're interviewed twice while the results are still ongoing. Footballers aren't interviewed at the end of extra time right before the penalty shootout. I wasn't that into Euphoria in 2012 (I preferred Love Is Blind by Donny Montell, surprisingly the song/performance that made me start to love Eurovision) but I made it up to her last night by giving her my unwavering support and I even voted for her three times:laughing:. Okay I'm at 2% now!

EDIT: I charged my phone to 5% so I could come back. After my battery died, I was going back over my post in my head line by line (we all do that, right?), and I realised I misspelled Verka as 'Verda' so I had to return to fix it. It's fixed now and my battery is about to die again. I'm glad we're all talking about Eurovision this year, even if I'm just dishing out angry face reactions!
 
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I didn’t score on lyrics because i wasn’t really listening. I scored Germany top because the singer actually had a great singing voice, and possibly the only person out of the competition who really did.

Was not a fan of the girl representing France and similarly, I may not have given the Swedish song my full attention because the singer was so objectionable that she ruined it before it even began.

I did wholly object to Finland being awarded 2nd place because in the last 25 years, there’s certainly indisputably been this major de facto/deliberate CLOWN element to some of the entries, and for sure this year Finland really went all out to make sure their entry was the ine that nailed that aspect. I don’t think all entrants would have considered that to be an aspirational tactic, and neither did i!

But anyway of course the end result was still that it was nothing new and the song was like one of those 1960s/1970s HORROR style American “cookbooks”, the ones with the kitsch and crazy recipes that surely NO ONE on earth could have ever possibly made, OR eaten.

I think to mix an Arctic Circle regional interpretation of some kind of throwback wannabe Front 242 tribute reenactment with Cha Cha Cha dancers does NOT need to have it pointed out on any kind of a global stage that whomever envisioned this baked-spaghetti-with-pigs-feet-and-marshmallows-in-hot-Dijon-jus monstrosity… shouldn’t have quit their day job.

To be honest i watched a 20 minute clip of Germany’s singer’s reaction/comments to most of the entrants, and that mini-rundown was better than was the slog of the whole competition itself.

It is exhausting and i agree about being Eurovisioned out. They don’t make it easy on us, do they!

Oh, and I thought the Italian entry was really weak this year too. His song was every iota as cringe as his pleather outfit was.
 
Finland was awful. We love Eurovision for its camp silliness, but it needs a to be done well. Ukraine 2007 totally nailed it, Finland 2023 totally didn’t. Verka was fun, silly and brilliant; the Finnish gay Front 242 cha-cha was just stupid.

The Swedish commentators are dry and funny enough, but, oh, do I miss Terry Wogan!
 
Also, Sweden obviously needs to host it next year because it will be the 50th anniversary of ABBA’s win (hence we sent a sure winner). SVT will probably offer ABBA hundreds of millions of kronor to reunite for the occasion and to botox Agneta.
 
Scanty :fire::fire:! I like reading thoughts about Eurovision, and Scanty brings THE GOODS. I joined a Eurovision group a few days ago hoping to read some interesting takes on the contest but they were fixated on "Finland was robbed" and then stopped talking about music entirely and began arguing about Russia/Ukraine. I agree with what you said about Finland's performance. I like seeing the most 'timeless' sounding song win and this year I believe it was Sweden. The song that will still sound good on recaps a decade from now, unlike Finland's and Israel's which I suspect will sound dated by next year. I'm firmly against novelty songs winning. I HATED 'Toy' winning in 2018, and while Finland's entry this year has a nice musical change-up in the middle (after starting out like a sub-Prodigy number), everything about the performance screamed 'novelty song'.

Despite the fact that I like it a fair amount I don't think Loreen's Tattoo is an all time classic winner, it's no Euphoria just like Hold Me Now was no What's Another Year. Admittedly I was biased in favour of Loreen due to her past participation in the contest; I'm happy for her for winning again, even though usually I'm not happy for anyone about anything because I come from a nation of begruders. I believe she changed the contest for good with Euphoria in 2012. Euphoria was a song which didn't sound like it was written specifically for Eurovision, which had become the norm with other recent winners, it sounded like a song which could and should be a #1 chart hit around the world. To me she modernised the contest, and whether I'm right or wrong about that I had some leftover goodwill towards her based on that belief, which was partly responsible for my three votes for her on Saturday night. But the song this year needed to be good too and it is!

Speaking about modernising though! Ireland and the UK have to do something different, and quickly. They haven't won since 1996 and 1997. This year Sweden matched Ireland's record number of wins, and from the looks of things Sweden will win another couple of contests before Ireland even finishes in the top 10 again. I can't understand why Ireland and the UK haven't sent some of their bigger names!? I don't have my ear to the ground but I haven't had my head in the sand either and I had NEVER heard of Wild Youth and Mae Muller. Meanwhile, Noa Kirel of Israel is already a huge star in that country, and Italy's singer - pleather outfit notwithstanding - according to one of the commentators on the show has gone 72 times platinum (albums and singles combined) in Italy. The UK used to send Lulu, Sandie Shaw, Cliff Richard, which was the equivalent of sending Noa Kirel and Marco Mengoni now.

When it comes to music stars, the UK arguably has a better selection than any other country in Europe. Imagine if they sent Dua Lipa? Charli XCX? Rita Ora? Jessie Ware? Maybe they simply wouldn't want to go, but if they sent them or any of about 40 others the UK would finish in the top three every year. Instead they send James Newman, Michael Rice, and Mae Muller :confused:. And so, apart from a glitch in the matrix last year when they finished in second, the UK had only finished inside the top 10 two other times since 2000. Anyway, that's my "more of the same shit" rant. Thanks for coming through with your reviews Scanty and Sea Salt! :highfive:
 
my mexican friend is so cute. he's a good judge of character too as he told me he knew he could trust me the first time he talked to me. of course he can. if you're good looking and not crazy you can trust me 100%
 
my mexican friend is so cute. he's a good judge of character too as he told me he knew he could trust me the first time he talked to me. of course he can. if you're good looking and not crazy you can trust me 100%

How about if you’re good looking and slightly crazy? Not Morrissey-infiltrated-my-sewing-class-crazy but buying-feather-boas-for-the-childhood-bear-crazy? Is that OK? :lbf:
 
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Scanty :fire::fire:! I like reading thoughts about Eurovision, and Scanty brings THE GOODS. I joined a Eurovision group a few days ago hoping to read some interesting takes on the contest but they were fixated on "Finland was robbed" and then stopped talking about music entirely and began arguing about Russia/Ukraine. I agree with what you said about Finland's performance. I like seeing the most 'timeless' sounding song win and this year I believe it was Sweden. The song that will still sound good on recaps a decade from now, unlike Finland's and Israel's which I suspect will sound dated by next year. I'm firmly against novelty songs winning. I HATED 'Toy' winning in 2018, and while Finland's entry this year has a nice musical change-up in the middle (after starting out like a sub-Prodigy number), everything about the performance screamed 'novelty song'.

Despite the fact that I like it a fair amount I don't think Loreen's Tattoo is an all time classic winner, it's no Euphoria just like Hold Me Now was no What's Another Year. Admittedly I was biased in favour of Loreen due to her past participation in the contest; I'm happy for her for winning again, even though usually I'm not happy for anyone about anything because I come from a nation of begruders. I believe she changed the contest for good with Euphoria in 2012. Euphoria was a song which didn't sound like it was written specifically for Eurovision, which had become the norm with other recent winners, it sounded like a song which could and should be a #1 chart hit around the world. To me she modernised the contest, and whether I'm right or wrong about that I had some leftover goodwill towards her based on that belief, which was partly responsible for my three votes for her on Saturday night. But the song this year needed to be good too and it is!

Speaking about modernising though! Ireland and the UK have to do something different, and quickly. They haven't won since 1996 and 1997. This year Sweden matched Ireland's record number of wins, and from the looks of things Sweden will win another couple of contests before Ireland even finishes in the top 10 again. I can't understand why Ireland and the UK haven't sent some of their bigger names!? I don't have my ear to the ground but I haven't had my head in the sand either and I had NEVER heard of Wild Youth and Mae Muller. Meanwhile, Noa Kirel of Israel is already a huge star in that country, and Italy's singer - pleather outfit notwithstanding - according to one of the commentators on the show has gone 72 times platinum (albums and singles combined) in Italy. The UK used to send Lulu, Sandie Shaw, Cliff Richard, which was the equivalent of sending Noa Kirel and Marco Mengoni now.

When it comes to music stars, the UK arguably has a better selection than any other country in Europe. Imagine if they sent Dua Lipa? Charli XCX? Rita Ora? Jessie Ware? Maybe they simply wouldn't want to go, but if they sent them or any of about 40 others the UK would finish in the top three every year. Instead they send James Newman, Michael Rice, and Mae Muller :confused:. And so, apart from a glitch in the matrix last year when they finished in second, the UK had only finished inside the top 10 two other times since 2000. Anyway, that's my "more of the same shit" rant. Thanks for coming through with your reviews Scanty and Sea Salt! :highfive:
Well this was a pretty fire comment also. Do you want me to tell you my theory? Well i’m going to because it has a really short shelf life, as in, any other day of the year i will be too lazy to type about anything eurovision anymore. Here’s the thing, it started out as a serious competition. More serious than it is now, anyway. And i think the UK acts that make it globally absolutely do think they’re too big for it. But it’s also really super weird when the English speaking countries send these absolute nobodies that no one’s ever heard of any more. I mean Mae Muller seems like a typical act for someone who just got out of stage school - which actually, you made a really good point. Because Dua Lipa and all those guys definitely came straight out of Sylvia Young or wherever. And it seems like, what place could possibly be better for stage schoolers to compete than… on stage at Eurovision! Right??

But then I think the countries that are trying to participate in the spirit that was originally expected (ie represent your country singing in your country’s original language) are kind of at a disadvantage. Because no one outside of their own countries knows their songs!!

And some of those guys are trying to sing in English hoping (praying?) that they’ll somehow be struck by the hand of King Midas and a clip of one of their choruses (or maybe their entire track!) might end up being played all night long at a Magaluf disco near you this summer, which = streaming sales, kah-CHING, kah-CHING!!!

BUT then i think this is where we go back to square one with some of the more successful acts not wanting to be associated with this rif-raff. I mean WHAT was that mess out of Ukraine this year??

And also BUT!!! And this is the part I never paid any attention to, so maybe you already know the answer to this and it’s just me that doesn’t… WHO is it that’s actually voting for these loser UK acts to go through?? I mean is it like if your parents pay enough under the table, or still a casting couch and who you sleep with, or what?!

Because honestly, this is so sad to watch. It’s sad like wilted lettuce is sad. Like wilted lettuce that’s wilted because a dog peed on it level of sadness.

They could easily send a Bonnie Tyler. I feel like even Florence and the Machine might have done it. Bet the Corrs would have considered it at least, too.

The problem if you don’t send someone who has already been hugely successful is that … you’re sending someone who hasn’t been good enough to be successful.

And it would be one thing if they say “this is for unknown acts only”, or the opposite of that. But when you tell me some acts are like 75x platinum in their own countries, then yeah, it makes no sense to send garbage, and A LOT of countries send their garbage.

They’re happy to make superstars and multi-millionaires out of people doing karaoke on Britain’s Got Talent or The Voice or whatever the latest one of those shows is, but then they can’t even get it together to send someone that people on the street would have even heard of, while other countries are sending multi-platinum acts?

I forget what my theory is that i was going to tell you, and this was definitely not it. I’m just saying, why didn’t they at least send Bonnie Tyler?

Do you think a Kate Bush or a Dua Lipa wouldn’t go because in different ways, they all just don’t want to be part of anything where they might lose? I think so. That’s why you need someone with a sense of humor!! Maybe they should send Blur next year, lol.

Or at least maybe Billy Idol could have gone. Or even Adam and the Ants. With Boz! :lbf: :lbf: :lbf:
 
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