I was a nice kid, if you got personal with me.
It's not medication that's made me 'better'. It's socializing here in the psych ward that I've been prompted to do, that has recivilized me. I'd grown wild is all, from isolation.
I have to say though, slaughterhouses are okay, but me walking nude is not? Everyone says I could get hurt going out in the nude, and that it's for my own safety I was hauled in here and locked in. But everyone here is a hardcore drug addict. I've been making friends here. I'm not going to start doing hard drugs, but, I'm not familiar with this walk of life. People into heroin and proud of it. We'll see what happens when we all get together on the outside.
Yikes. Whatcha gonna do to Stream?I got a bit fed up with Stream today. He's constantly criticising David for talking about Boris Johnson and he ran off when Dave came over and talked about him. He's hard work though, Stream is. He's constantly making jokes and you're having to make a point of laughing but it can become titesome after a while. He turns everything you say into a pun. You have to be happy and jolly all the time. I entertain it to a degree and he probably feels I'm easy company but I feel he's underestimating me. He feels I'm someone he can talk AT rather than talk WITH. I'm going to have to disappoint him at some juncture and let him know that I'm bored of his wise cracks and just because he knows I'm ill it doesn't give him licence to bore me stupid every time I see him. He ran rough shod over me today. But it was all done with a jest and a joke, but it's drained me. .I'd much rather be talking about mundane things with Dave. He doesn't insist on happiness. He's OK with me being dour and miserable. Stream is taking advantage of my easy going nature. He's found faith he was drinking like me a few months back. I never knew him them, but Colin helped him through and now he's stopped drinking and he's exuberant. He just chosen the wrong person to be exuberant with. He's found a new lease of life and he thinks I'm part of his new life and in a way he feels I'm part of the scenery. He's being naive. I'm the stage he performs on. I don't have any lines. I'm the setting. I speak when he gives me the cue. He was downright rude with Dave when he came along.
oh dearI've got to stay in the park and wait for Colin to bring me a microphone. He's not back until 7. He's gone home for his dinner. It's one of these microphones you can put a battery in and I thought it might be nice to sing you a song later through the microphone. It's not ever so hi tech. I don't know whether I can be bothered to wait for him coming back. I don't even know whether he intends coming back.