okay, so it's probably not Morrissey. whew. not that it would have changed my opinion of him in the slightest, I dont think for one second there's any darkness or deviance lurking in him, but im relieved for him if it isn't.
but what I was thinking last night is how the f*** something like this would be seen as psychologically traumatizing, especially if it were just a blunder where the other man thought he would be into it and turns out he wasn't, which is what this sounds like. a thing like this is psychologically traumatizing when it has attachments like: it was done by someone in power to belittle you; or it was done in public to humiliate you; or it was done repeatedly so as to affect your mindset and your self esteem. accidentally mistaking the wants of someone else resulting in a surprise groin groping, is not in itself traumatic. now, im a rather prudish girl. I dont like sex. I blush easily. but when I was in paris I was molested countless times (I think Parisians can spot a tourist and tend to go for them because they think they might be easier that Parisian women? that's my theory anyway, and in my only-worn-in-Canada goretex ski parka I stood out as a tourist from a mile away); i mean, boundaries were way overstepped-- in words, in touches. I never gave the go ahead for any of it. but when I told them I wasn't having it, they stopped. and I understood they had acted out of a place of thinking I was okay with it. so was I traumatized? no, not in the slightest. I laughed. I knew I would have a funny story to tell. this "victim" needs someone to give him a good slap upside the head and tell him to grow the f*** up. all he is doing by "coming forward" is trivializing real incidents of traumatic sexual assault, and making it very hard to exist as a sexual being, who as such might occasionally make blunders, in this society.