To Pillow
I'm going to give you something for your birthday Pillow - a bit of advice from a 27 yo to a 19 yo woman.
Just remember: it's NOT you - THEY are the ugly ones.
When people are shitty, cruel, thoughtless, unreliable - just remember they are 'ordinary' people. They are usually the people who aspire to nothing more than marriage, a house, a dog, 2 snotty vulgar kids, a vauxhall vectra and Sky TV. The reason you are lonely is that you don't (and don't want to) fit into their crappy little picture of life. They are shallow and superficial. So don't turn it back on yourself and loathe yourself, and feel ugly, useless and helpless. Remember you're the beautiful one. You're the one with insight, thoughts, feelings.
OK so I don't always practise what I preach, I admit, but at least finally in my life I have learnt to turn self-loathing and self-doubt into a realisation that I am just different, I think on a different level. I can sometimes (well ok most times) hate society and this world I'm forced to live in, but I don't turn it back on myself anymore. I'm a caring feeling individual if nothing else. You should feel the same. If there are things which make you a bad person, think it through and alter your behaviour.
Love and a big hug dearest Pillow,
GDx
> its so satisfying,
> to know,
> that ive made,
> at least one person,
> feel SOMETHING.
