"Norrissey: The Novel, By Morrissey - A Synopsis" - The Quietus

Norrissey: The Novel, By Morrissey - A Synopsis - The Quietus
David Stubbs , January 6th, 2014 06:37
Man of refined taste and lucky skip skimmer Mr David Stubbs has procured us an early draft of Morrissey's debut novel...

With the news that Morrissey is to write a novel, we dispatched David Stubbs to Penguin's London offices in the hope of doorstepping them for an interview on the matter. He was declined.

However, on exiting the building and passing by a skip, he caught sight of a manuscript, a possible first draft of the work. It was entitled THIS HANDSOME MAN – A NON-AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL MADE-UP STORY OF LOVE AND VINDICATION. We reprint it in full here.
 
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Librarian On Fire

Active Member
Melody Maker produced some great music journalists. Chris Roberts, Everett True, Simon Price, Andrew Muller. David Stubbs was never one of them and still remains that way.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
That's so weird, Viva.
 

Old Mathew

Well-Known Member
"He never met his father, although he often heard him traipsing across the hallway floorboards to the bathroom."

Okay, I admit I laughed out loud at that line.
 

Orson Swells

Well-Known Member
That's very poor from Stubbs; an absolutely tepid attempt at satire. I really appreciated the recent Craig Brown pastiche, a near pitch perfect parody from a talented prose writer. But this Stubbs piece is really dreadful schoolboy stuff. Embarrassingly unamusing...
 

joe frady

Vile Refusenik
Melody Maker produced some great music journalists. Chris Roberts, Everett True, Simon Price, Andrew Muller. David Stubbs was never one of them and still remains that way.

Dead Right.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
No more so than this...

morrissey-last-of-the-famous-international-playboys-cd-single.jpg

I had a weird thing like that happen with the YOR cover. I designed one as a game here then when it was released it was like mine was the mock-up all the way down to the font work and the color palette. But it was more symbolic (I did a cut out of a bird named baby but he held a baby) and not so literal and spot on like yours.

You should do another one. But don't post it. Time stamp it somehow, like with a newspaper then keep it to yourself. Maybe you're like Morrissey's graphic design fortune teller or some crazy thing.
 

Rosie Cheeks

New Member
"But Norrissey's success bred enemies. Fat women, many of them, for some reason." That made me laugh.....although for someone who sang about accepting yourself, he does seem very prejudiced against the overweight...bizarre.....:rolleyes:
 

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