NME Review Low In High school by Jordan Bassett (2/5)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Ugly Devil, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. Ugly Devil

    Ugly Devil Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Messages:
    164
    http://www.nme.com/reviews/album/morrissey-low-in-high-school-review
    Moz’s strange 11th solo album starts off well enough, but soon goes seriously wrong

    There’s no easy way to tell you this, but Morrissey is fixated with the bit between your legs. His 11th solo album is chockablock with crotch. On ‘Home Is A Question Mark’, he implores you to “wrap your legs around my face” and on ‘In Your Lap’ he delivers the grim news that “I just want my face in your lap”. You should also feel some trepidation when you hit ‘play’ on ‘When You Open Your Legs’.

    If the tracks on ‘Low In High School’ aren’t crotch songs, they’re anti-war songs. There are, categorically, no anti-crotch songs. On ‘I Bury The Living’ he bellows, “Gimme an order! I’ll blow up a border! Gimme an order! I’ll blow up your… daughter!” It’s no ‘Shipbuilding’, but it does drive the point home.
    Lead single ‘Spent The Day In Bed’ skitters across melancholia with a lilting refrain, while the lyrics – about the joys of ducking your responsibilities – sound as though they’re lifted from a ’70s novelty song. Yet ‘Jacky’s Only Happy When She’s Up On The Stage’ is the real standout; a tale of an actor whose ambitions far outweigh her talent, it’s brooding goth-pop laced with venom. In fact, the 12-song album’s first five tracks are passable, if not actually quite enjoyable. Beyond this point, though, only the most hardened Moz fan should dare to venture.

    ‘The Girl From Tel Aviv Who Wouldn’t Kneel’ is an unbearable cha-cha-cha; ‘Who Will Protect Us From The Police?’ is lumpen electro; and least listenable track ‘Israel’ sees him deliver political polemic via the dubious medium of a piano ballad. Moz has become pop’s greatest troll in recent years, and here he’s exhaustive in goading you to hit the ‘off’ button. It’s enough to make you put your head in your hands. Or, indeed, your lap


    Read more at http://www.nme.com/reviews/album/morrissey-low-in-high-school-review#3M70WkWg6GYrhk28.99
     
    • Troll Troll x 1
  2. Famous when dead

    Famous when dead Vulgarian

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2000
    Messages:
    1,962
    Location:
    Birmingham, U.K.
    Well, there's an utterly amazing piece of journalism. It reads exactly as a carbon copy of a couple of already printed reviews - even down to the lyric choices to print - is there nothing about the unheard songs they can manage to quote in more detail - my how reviews have changed.
    NME makes me feel old - I don't recognise half the bands in it these days (and have no desire to).
    It all comes across as slipshod whether you agree with the review or not.
    Oh for Record Mirror & Sounds again.
    Sigh,
    FWD.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. Hotplatters

    Hotplatters Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2017
    Messages:
    32
    Location:
    London
    Home Page:
    The NME exists in name only. THE NME died years ago.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. g23

    g23 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,322
    Location:
    Oregon, USA
    I miss the days when Morrissey sang anti-crotch songs.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  5. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! the face that runs the place

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    My assumption for this is that they haven't actually heard the album...they just want to produce content that is a thin framework to stuff all their bitching about Morrissey not being as liberal as they are into. I mean, that's all any of these articles boil down to...
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    NME is owned by the same people that own Uncut so it's probably not a co-incidence that they both gave the worst reviews across the entire music media.
    We clearly don't have a great album on our hands, and I'm dreading all the 'lap' songs but it sounds like there are 4 or 5 good to great ones. Their lyrical criticism of Spent the Day is bonkers but their other criticisms may be fair enough.
     
  7. Irregular Regular

    Irregular Regular Typical me...

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,992
    A crotch in the bush is worth two in the hand...
     
  8. Harsh Truth

    Harsh Truth Ever Felt Had?

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2006
    Messages:
    2,097
    Location:
    In the bar
    Exactly. "On sheets for which I paid" ranks right up their with his very best.
     
  9. Eldritch

    Eldritch Guest

    So far The Girl In Tel Aviv... has been labelled by different reviewers as bossa nova, chanson, cha cha cha, a tango and a waltz.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  10. Tbevie

    Tbevie Girl afraid

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,506
    Location:
    Scotland
    When I've heard the album I'm going to go back and re-read some of these reviews. And I bet some of them still won't make sense.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. Orson Swells

    Orson Swells Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,789
    So, Spent the Day In Bed is about "the joys of ducking your responsibilities"? It sounds like it was reviewed by Theresa May.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. g23

    g23 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    1,322
    Location:
    Oregon, USA
    I heard that it was Mongolian hip hop jazz fusion with a twist of black metal.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    That really made me laugh. I mean the reach they would go to in order to criticize the song is so so ironic. the nme is now chiding a song because it’s encouraging the shirking of adult responsibilities for a day. This should be the nme’s new theme song from here on out

     
  14. 001

    001 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2017
    Messages:
    359
    @ The NME Fuck You!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. NealCassidy

    NealCassidy Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2014
    Messages:
    481
    No mention of I wish you lonely or young people. I like those.
     
  16. NealCassidy

    NealCassidy Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2014
    Messages:
    481
    I’m asked to leave this club in Tel Aviv...
     
  17. Famous when dead

    Famous when dead Vulgarian

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2000
    Messages:
    1,962
    Location:
    Birmingham, U.K.
    In modern vernacular: he's a cockwomble.



    Regards,
    FWD.
     
  18. Tibby the cat 93

    Tibby the cat 93 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2017
    Messages:
    47
    Only one review counts, your own.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Ugly Devil

    Ugly Devil Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Messages:
    164
    This smug looking millennial toerag reviewer has the most punchable set of chops I've seen of late. I can feel vomit rising up my throat when these muso journo twats attempt to turn a review into a comedy side piece, so they can showcase their shitty humour. IMG_20171115_142234.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Troll Troll x 1
  20. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    Indeed, Millennials are styleless, group-thinking middle management tits, but this album is shaping up to be a bridge too far. So much trolling in evidence lyrically. Will a torch song offering a lyrical ode to cophraglia be next? I'm not sure there will be a next.
     
Loading...

Share This Page