Dazza
New Member
For a bit of fun I thought I'd share this - nods to John Cooper Clarke, clearly.
Based on a true story as it happens...
So reasons to be cheerful
I have precisely none
the final scene is tearful
unless I act smart and...get gone
Her psycho patter leaves me battered
the damage will be medical
My firm belief is that without teeth
food's f***ing inedible
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
Hey that glass of wine you bought her
might just get thrown back in your face
So be glad you never caught her
a catch so much worse than the chase
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
So reasons to be cheerful
I have precisely none
I'm feeling f***ing fearful
decision makes itself...get gone
She inflicts pain upon my brain
and yes the pain is medical
If my anus lands in her radius
hey...a pegging is inevitable
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
Hey her fuse is getting shorter
and I don't think Daz can hack the pace
So don't dare call this manslaughter
it is definitely a murder case
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
Sick of looking over my shoulder
this anxiety is medical
Must soothe these nerves, regain my verve
just remember Daz...you're incredible
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
And to think that I once thought her
to be a member of the human race
So please pour me a pint of porter
cos I am getting f***ing..shitfaced
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
And her mother must have taught her
to repel both pepperspray and mace
So this non-roving reporter
will stay home, listen to Black Lace
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
Based on a true story as it happens...
Mercuryin the Water
So reasons to be cheerful
I have precisely none
the final scene is tearful
unless I act smart and...get gone
Her psycho patter leaves me battered
the damage will be medical
My firm belief is that without teeth
food's f***ing inedible
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
Hey that glass of wine you bought her
might just get thrown back in your face
So be glad you never caught her
a catch so much worse than the chase
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
So reasons to be cheerful
I have precisely none
I'm feeling f***ing fearful
decision makes itself...get gone
She inflicts pain upon my brain
and yes the pain is medical
If my anus lands in her radius
hey...a pegging is inevitable
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
Hey her fuse is getting shorter
and I don't think Daz can hack the pace
So don't dare call this manslaughter
it is definitely a murder case
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
Sick of looking over my shoulder
this anxiety is medical
Must soothe these nerves, regain my verve
just remember Daz...you're incredible
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
And to think that I once thought her
to be a member of the human race
So please pour me a pint of porter
cos I am getting f***ing..shitfaced
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
Don't you know that she's the daughter
of a two-headed monster from outer space?
And her mother must have taught her
to repel both pepperspray and mace
So this non-roving reporter
will stay home, listen to Black Lace
When there's mercury in the water
hey we've gotta get out of this place
