Listening to Dermot whilst waiting for the interview is quite a task, so I decided to take part in that Elephant in the Room text-in business, where you send him an example of something you and your partner never talk about.
I hastily made something up, without considering what I was really writing, and sent it:
'My girlfriend and I once accidentally stole the Mona Lisa and coated it in custard before selling it to Alice Cooper for 67 pence and a Christmas-themed sock. We don't talk about it.'
I hope it gets read out.