Morrissey's letter to The Times

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

Morrissey is not a singer; Morrissey is a mischevious, pan-sexual demi-god who resides in a luxury hotel somewhere on Mount Olympus. He sprang fully-formed from the forehead of Zeus and doesn't bother with things like newspapers, grocery stores or the chemist's.

His every utterance is filled with the utmost import - his motives are either shady and/or unfathomable, his relationships with mere mortals are fraught with drama, mystery, intrigue and a touch of the surreal; his voice is a siren song, and he sweats ambrosia.

Morrissey never loses a sock, does the laundry or picks food out of his teeth. He never stands on line, trips over a curb or empties the dustbin.

Nick Cave is just a singer who lives somewhere in the South of England.

Don't forget his strict diet of ambrosia, tea and holy water.

 

[[email protected]]

OK, I'll start.

There once was a singer from Cheshire


Where's The Cat's Mother to finish it off, please?

In the absence of the cats mothers (Smiling +Cheshire + cat...see what i did there???) face....

There once was a singer from Cheshire,
Who quite fancied some Bare-skin pressure
So he Paid widdicombe,
To spank hard on his bum
And he said "Oh by jove, I feel fresh-er".

 

[Girl-with-the-Thorn]

In the absence of the cats mothers (Smiling +Cheshire + cat...see what i did there???) face....

There once was a singer from Cheshire,
Who quite fancied some Bare-skin pressure
So he Paid widdicombe,
To spank hard on his bum
And he said "Oh by jove, I feel fresh-er".

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Don't forget his strict diet of ambrosia, tea and holy water.

And toast.

 

[CrookedLittleVein]

Christ on his bike!
Is there any social demographic more bloody paranoid than Morrissey fans

Muslims in burkas and David Icke followers. But thats about it!

If Muslims wear burkas because they're paranoid, why haven't they become the garment of choice for coke-fiends everywhere?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Morrissey is not a singer; Morrissey is a mischevious, pan-sexual demi-god who resides in a luxury hotel somewhere on Mount Olympus. He sprang fully-formed from the forehead of Zeus and doesn't bother with things like newspapers, grocery stores or the chemist's.

His every utterance is filled with the utmost import - his motives are either shady and/or unfathomable, his relationships with mere mortals are fraught with drama, mystery, intrigue and a touch of the surreal; his voice is a siren song, and he sweats ambrosia.

Morrissey never loses a sock, does the laundry or picks food out of his teeth. He never stands on line, trips over a curb or empties the dustbin.

Nick Cave is just a singer who lives somewhere in the South of England.

Some of these things are true.

 

[Worm]

Morrissey is not a singer; Morrissey is a mischevious, pan-sexual demi-god who resides in a luxury hotel somewhere on Mount Olympus. He sprang fully-formed from the forehead of Zeus and doesn't bother with things like newspapers, grocery stores or the chemist's.

His every utterance is filled with the utmost import - his motives are either shady and/or unfathomable, his relationships with mere mortals are fraught with drama, mystery, intrigue and a touch of the surreal; his voice is a siren song, and he sweats ambrosia.

Morrissey never loses a sock, does the laundry or picks food out of his teeth. He never stands on line, trips over a curb or empties the dustbin.

Nick Cave is just a singer who lives somewhere in the South of England.

Introduce me to your dealer, please.

Or were you quoting from the screenplay to "Manchester's Answer To The H Bomb: A Baz Luhrmann Film"?

 

[not_me_not_I]

Morrissey is not a singer; Morrissey is a mischevious, pan-sexual demi-god who resides in a luxury hotel somewhere on Mount Olympus. He sprang fully-formed from the forehead of Zeus and doesn't bother with things like newspapers, grocery stores or the chemist's.

His every utterance is filled with the utmost import - his motives are either shady and/or unfathomable, his relationships with mere mortals are fraught with drama, mystery, intrigue and a touch of the surreal; his voice is a siren song, and he sweats ambrosia.

Morrissey never loses a sock, does the laundry or picks food out of his teeth. He never stands on line, trips over a curb or empties the dustbin.

Nick Cave is just a singer who lives somewhere in the South of England.

Is this the update for his Wikipedia entry?

 

[Worm]

Is this the update for his Wikipedia entry?

It couldn't be. There are no inaccuracies.

 

[lottie]

Good grief, 6 pages of waffle about this already!!!
(i gave up at Crystals Mozaic pic, very funny my dear )

I believe that Morrissey wrote this letter, and its warmed my heart, im so glad to see him speaking up for a change.

 

[Barking]

there once was a singer from cheshire
whose hats where made to measure
made from fur that was faux
so the guards on show
could dress without pain, with pleasure.

Aaaaaaaaaah!

There once was a singer from Cheshire,
Who quite fancied some Bare-skin pressure
So he Paid widdicombe,
To spank hard on his bum
And he said "Oh by jove, I feel fresh-er".

Oooooooooooh!

...There once was a singer from Cheshire
Who didn't want guards to perspire
under real Canadian fur.
He was a bear with a sore head
Ann showed him the conjugal bed
and her breast; of love there was a welter


(sorry got a bit stuck at the end)

 

[Worm]

There once was a singer from Cheshire,
Who loathed what was loved by a Hesher.
Seeing a hat he deplored,
His conscience was floored,
And out popped some prose like an Escher.

 

[Anaesthesine]

There once was a singer from Cheshire
Who berated the Queen (but god bless her)
He stood firm by the bears
and protected their hairs
And said Stella McCartney was fresher.

 

[Barking]

"There was once a blue-eyed lemur from Cheshire..."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/video/2010/aug/03/lemurs-madagascar

It's nice to want to save a couple of bears from being shot in the arse but there are tons of endangered species whose habitat is under threat. And funds can make a difference in protecting them and helping humans and animals coexist.

...I mean wealthy leafy Cheshire suburbs still exist, but for how long?

-I wonder where Ann lives? She needs a really really large terrain, given the size of her - (can't get over them)

edit/ see, today for instance the WWF suggested me to buy land to protect it from inappropriate building/ hunting/ fishing/ intensive agriculture. Only 2 euro per square meter. Well 32 millions could protect a lot of land and therefore a lot of animal and vegetal species. Couldn't they?

British eccentricity ("and now, let's talk about the guards' furry hats") is nice for a while but let's not forget the bear necessities: efficiency and common sense. Otherwise "we" are going nowhere.

And if it was just for petatesque publicity, well... Animals will get you...And will make you pay. A large pigeon...A stage... Come on. You know I'm right. Do this seriously, not as some showbiz pose with semi-cretinous organizations. Show you have a brain under that hat. Oh, that your hair?
Considering you don't have kids, what are you going to spend all that money on, otherwise? What's going to be your big life after 50 project? ( Ann doesn't need that much money to be happy you know.)

There's a Morrissey that's thinking of helping humankind advance? Well good but maybe it's time to lose the retarded habits then. Letter-writing, didn't you use to do that when you were a teen? Just because we're back at mum's doesn't mean we have to relive everything...

 

[Stoned]

I managed to get the actual copy of the paper , well said Moz
Cheers Moz

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Good grief, 6 pages of waffle about this already!!!
(i gave up at Crystals Mozaic pic, very funny my dear )

I believe that Morrissey wrote this letter, and its warmed my heart, im so glad to see him speaking up for a change.

Osos means bear.

 

[lottie]

Osos means bear.

it does? well then that pic is even BETTER.

 

[Barking]

Ms Widd is really really something.

"She has expressed a variety of views on climate change, but she generally attacks calls for action to mitigate it and her views appear to have hardened over time. In 2007, she wrote that she did not want to belittle the issue but was sceptical of the claims that specific actions would prevent catastrophe,[12] then in 2008 that her doubts had been “crystalised” by the book An Appeal to Reason,[13] before giving a statement in 2009 that "There is no climate change, hasn’t anybody looked out of their window recently?"."

"I welcome Ann Widdecombe's views..."

Er, no I don't.

But listen, I hear wedding bells! Those ginormous tits are in Cheshire! They're getting closer! CLOSER!

(...What beautiful children they'll have.)

Seriously, if she wasn't so old, flabby and if her tits didn't get in the way, I think I'd travel to the UK just to bite her nose. Hard.

 

[[email protected]]

...I've never really "Taken" to Mz Wiidicombes views, as she just seem s to pop out of her box at the slightest "Sniff" of a Microphone or News camera at her face, and just Completely disagree with ANYTHING that she has been "invited" to comment upon....
The darned woman would argue Vehemently that Black was, in fact White, as long as it got Her on the telly/Press coverage...just my opinion....No it isn't...

P.S, sorry about any spellinge Mitsakes, the keyboard is playing up today.
(No it isn't...)

 

[Barking]

...Do I have permission to come over and snap then? She's small as well so she doesn't frighten me.

Oh I can hear a Eurostar calling. If I didn't have to tidy up the flat, I swear...

...I could even call her silly old big-breasted cow. I could. If I wasn't so fond of cows.