Morrissey - What Type Of Fan Are You? Quiz

Mozza220559

Surmontil 50
What type of fan are you from the following questions...

Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...

a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.

b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.

c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.


Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...

a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.

b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.

c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com


Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...

a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover

b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal

c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.


Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...

a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.

b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.

c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.


Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...

a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.

b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.

c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.


Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...

a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.

b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.

c.) Shout "CUNT" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.


Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...

a.) Record the show and create 58 different GIF's, talking about how you had a wank looking at his collar bone on the frink thread.

b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.

c.) Say Jesse Tobias is a hopelessly shit guitarist and he's only in the band because he's Mexican, and call Morrissey a douche bag fag, who is abominable as a human and doesn't deserve success.


Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...

a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.

b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.

c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.

Let's see the results then!

Mostly a.) Deluded super fan with metal tendencies, believing you are his soul-mate and eternal lover.
Mostly b.) A well balanced intelligent Moz fan.
Mostly c.) An embittered ex Moz fan who unable to just let things go.

Thanks guys!
 
S

Skylarker

Guest
Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...

a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.

b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.

c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.
None of the above. I haven't gone to a show (of his) since 2007. Part of this is that the audience creeps me out and part of this is that his live shows just aren't that great anymore...I already know what he's gonna play and I've heard past group incarnations play it better.

Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...

a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.

b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.

c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com.[/B]
B.

But I would illegally download it first just to know what I'll be wasting my money on. Nonetheless there is still no record store experience quite as unique as buying a physical copy of a new Morrissey studio album.

Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...

a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover

b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal

c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.[/B]
B.

Dude...what's up with the C option...I mean...the f***?


Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...

a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.

b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.

c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.[/B]

Well I don't have labia, and his specific sexual orientation has never been a cornerstone of his music for me, and I've always assumed he likes men, so...I guess B, except I wouldn't really "welcome" his choice, because I don't care about it.

Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...

a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.

b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.

c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.[/B]

None of the above. I have no interest or need to meet Morrissey. I'm not 13. I'm also not Crystal Geezer.

Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...

a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.

b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.

c.) Shout "CUNT" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.[/B]
None of the above. I would respect the fact that he is a human being who buys groceries. It would be cool to run into him, but like I said...I'm not Crystal Geezer. I'd respect his space.

B and the Tobias part of C.

Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...

a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.

b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.

c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.[/B]
His retirement would not affect me. I no longer see him play live and he doesn't record anymore so as far as I'm concerned he's already retired. If I had to pick one, I'd pick B.
 

!Viva Hate!

pls scream inside your heart ⚧
Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...

a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.

b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.

c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.
None of the above. I only go to one of his concerts if he's playing a setlist I haven't already heard that I actually care to hear. Which is why the last two shows of his I've been to were in 2011 and 2007.


Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...

a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.

b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.

c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com
Option A, without the list compiling.


Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...

a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover

b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal

c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.
Option B.


Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...

a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.

b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.

c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.
None of the above. I already know it to be true, I don't need him to admit it.


Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...

a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.

b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.

c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.
Option B.


Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...

a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.

b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.

c.) Shout "CUNT" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.
None of the above. I wouldn't bother him at all.


Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...

a.) Record the show and create 58 different GIF's, talking about how you had a wank looking at his collar bone on the frink thread.

b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.

c.) Say Jesse Tobias is a hopelessly shit guitarist and he's only in the band because he's Mexican, and call Morrissey a douche bag fag, who is abominable as a human and doesn't deserve success.
Option C concerning Tobias...as long as they are decent songs to me, I wouldn't trash Morrissey.


Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...

a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.

b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.

c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.
Option B.
 
S

Skylarker

Guest
Well I tallied my scores and I'm a B which means I'm a normal and balanced fan, so I guess I must have lied since the general consensus here is that I hate Morrissey and have no interest in his music at all.
 
I

I hate Solow

Guest
Chapeau, Mozza220559.


@ Skylarker and VivaHate

Once you're done with constructing your public image as a "fan" on this "fansite", would you do that test again privately for yourselves and draw the according conclusions?
 
I

I hate Solow

Guest
Well I tallied my scores and I'm a B which means I'm a normal and balanced fan, so I guess I must have lied since the general consensus here is that I hate Morrissey and have no interest in his music at all.
I actually believe that your fandom and love towards Morrissey is so obsessive that you desperately try to make it look like you don't give a shit about him.
 

nothappynotsad

Snapping necks and cashing checks
Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...

b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.



Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...

b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.


Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...
b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal

I'd be incredibly excited and post far too much about it on facebook where very few of my "friends" will actually care.

c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.

I'm tempted to do this, simply because it's so darn funny.


Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...
b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.

His sexual orientation isn't anything I'd be upset over.

Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...
a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.

Well, I wouldn't cry and make him uncomfortable, but I'm definitely open to some urban camping for a chance to meet a long time inspiration.


Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...

b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.

I'd feel guilty for not leaving him alone but I wouldn't be able to resist a polite encounter. I'd apologize profusely for disturbing him, shake his hand and see if he notices himself looking back up at him from my arm. Come to think of it, he may be frightened. :(

Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...

b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.

I'd enjoy it and make my coworkers watch it on youtube the next day. Also, I'd think to myself that Jesse Tobias is shit and only in the band because he's a mexican.

Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...

b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.

I'd be a bit sad, but I'd certainly understand.
 
S

Skylarker

Guest
I actually believe that your fandom and love towards Morrissey is so obsessive that you desperately try to make it look like you don't give a shit about him.
Aww c'mon, I really need you to believe me. I'm gonna lose a lot of sleep tonight, man. Please? Your opinion of me is all I can think about.
 

billy scissors

a bit fond
What type of fan are you from the following questions...

Question 1. - Morrissey is playing in your home town, would you?...

a.) Book 12 tickets immediately and create your own blood spattered t-shirt of Morrissey's face using your own blood and throw a jizz-soaked letter onstage sealed with your own salty tears.

b.) Book 2 tickets for you and a good friend or someone you're in a relationship with and make a night of it.

c.) Anticipate the fact he's coming to your home town 2 days before the gig and sit sulking on Moz-solo for the rest of the week slagging his shirt choice off and moaning at him for singing Scandanavia again.


Question 2. - Morrissey secures a new record deal with an album to be released 1 month later, do you?...

a.) Pre-order 4 copies (Vinyl, Download, CD & Deluxe CD) and mentally compile a list of your favourite Morrissey songs chronogically and mark each track out of 10 then create a graph calculating the mean average.

b.) Wait until the day of release and pick one up from your local record shop or Amazon/Play.com and enjoy listening to it in your own home.

c.) Buy 10 copies all on vinyl, burn them take a piss on them and film the footage and post it on Allyouneedismorrissey.com


Question 3. - Morrissey invites Johnny Marr to be a guest guitarist on some new songs for Morrissey's up and coming album, do you?...

a.) Immediately go on Facebook harrassing Mike Joyce and ring the NME editor telling them The Smiths are reforming to play Wembely and take a wank over your Queen Is Dead vinyl cover

b.) Be pleasantly surprised, and get excited how the new songs will sound and what Morrissey's lyrics will reveal

c.) Fire a .44 Magnum at your record player until empty and punch the nearest loved one you can find in the face.


Question 4. - Morrissey reveals in his Autobiography that in the 90s he had a brief relationship with Jake Walters, and comes out gay, do you?...

a.) Cut off your own labia using the shards of your Vauxhall & I vinyl, crying how Morrissey has betrayed you and how he will burn and go to hell.

b.) Accept and welcome his choice and continue to admire his music regardless.

c.) Instantly call him a Limey fag who's music has gone down hill since he turned into a Limey fag. Selling off your whole Moz/Smiths back catalogue on ebay with no reserve on it.


Question 5. - Morrissey is signing his new album and book in HMV for 1 day only, do you?...

a.) Dust off the sleeping bag and start queing in the afternoon before he's due to appear, bringing a suitcase of Morrissey memerobilia and two batteries for your camera, crying at him as you film him in HD signing Kill Uncle for you.

b.) Try to go along during your dinner break and try to shake his hand and get your album signed.

c.) Fill 8 water bombs full of pig blood and ambush him whilst he's hugging a fan, only to get arrested and imprisoned for 3 months.


Question 6. - You spot Morrissey shopping with his elderly mother in Sainsburys do you?...

a.) Corner him around the delicatessen with your trolley and get him to engrave his signature on your arm using a fish knife, weeping and pulling at his trousers as he's trying to talk sense to you.

b.) Kindly tap him on the shoulder tell him how much you love his work and how much his music means to you.

c.) Shout "CUNT" from 50 yards away whilst he's with his mother and hide behind the baked beans, then scuttle onto Morrissey-solo and talk about how much of a twat he is the flesh.


Question 7. - Morrissey is to appear on Jonanthan Ross with an interview and 3 new tracks off his album, do you?...

a.) Record the show and create 58 different GIF's, talking about how you had a wank looking at his collar bone on the frink thread.

b.) Watch and enjoy the show, enjoying the new songs and chat on here some time after offering a balanced and consice critique.

c.) Say Jesse Tobias is a hopelessly shit guitarist and he's only in the band because he's Mexican, and call Morrissey a douche bag fag, who is abominable as a human and doesn't deserve success.


Question 8. - Morrissey announces his retirement, how do you react, do you?...

a.) Wear black for 3 months, mourning his musical decision, visiting various doctors who all tell you to take a long walk, only for you to then to develop a valium addiction.

b.) Appreciate his decision and realise he's a human who wants to do other things, but still keeping his music close to your heart.

c.) Post an 11 minute tirade on YouTube on how he should have done this years ago without tarnishing his demi-god image, repeatedly calling him a Limey fag, only to then follow Mike Joyce on Twitter.

Let's see the results then!

Mostly a.) Deluded super fan with metal tendencies, believing you are his soul-mate and eternal lover.
Mostly b.) A well balanced intelligent Moz fan.
Mostly c.) An embittered ex Moz fan who unable to just let things go.

Thanks guys!
Tough one.
As for question 6, I'd go up and tell him its BOGOF on all Linda McCartney (when it isnt) then watch him drag his poorly old mum all the way round- just for walking off at Liverpool.
 

Mozza220559

Surmontil 50
Tough one.
As for question 6, I'd go up and tell him its BOGOF on all Linda McCartney (when it isnt) then watch him drag his poorly old mum all the way round- just for walking off at Liverpool.
Haha, I'd love to see that, even with the money he's got he's love a bit of BOGOF on quorn burgers! You'd never see him snapping up Farmfoods dippers! :lbf:
 
I

I hate Solow

Guest
Aww c'mon, I really need you to believe me. I'm gonna lose a lot of sleep tonight, man. Please? Your opinion of me is all I can think about.
Umm, you don't really get me. It's interesting to monitor what makes you write a really sincere reply, and what seems to force you to wear the "I'm so amused, I'm so ironic"-mask.
 

mcrickson

Reckless Endangerment
Umm, you don't really get me. It's interesting to monitor what makes you write a really sincere reply, and what seems to force you to wear the "I'm so amused, I'm so ironic"-mask.
It's not really interesting. You're just bad at trying to sound superior to someone. I know, ain't I sooooooo hypocritical?
 
I

I hate Solow

Guest
It's not really interesting. You're just bad at trying to sound superior to someone. I know, ain't I sooooooo hypocritical?
You're absolutely right. I call it the Solow-sickness. Gotta run with the pack. I also notice that the sickness gets worse, the longer you are exposed to the forums. Even moderators aren't immune.
 
A

a rejected soul

Guest
The kind who won't even finish reading a questionnaire if all the options are such comically one-dimensional extremes... Where's the fun in that? :\

Honestly, I'm probably pretty sane when it comes to Morrissey fandom. I've got the delusional/irrationally hateful/obsessive bases covered elsewhere, naturally, but I just happen to really like Morrissey's music and who he was at one time, nearly as much as I dislike his extremely unbalanced, internet-based ghost entourage.
 

mcrickson

Reckless Endangerment
You're absolutely right. I call it the Solow-sickness.
Are you a professional? If not, you should be.

Gotta run with the pack. I also notice that the sickness gets worse, the longer you are exposed to the forums. Even moderators aren't immune.
Curious, then, that you keep coming back. Aren't you afraid of contamination?
No, probably not. You are far too clever and good-looking for that to be a worrying threat.
 
I

I hate Solow

Guest
Are you a professional? If not, you should be.
Desperately trying not to be. You may laugh at me, but I actually believe that kindness is nice. Unless you're talking to utter bastards.

Curious, then, that you keep coming back. Aren't you afraid of contamination?
I love the Moz. He hates this place. He doesn't read it but its mere existence is hurtful for him. I'm trying to make it a bit better and to make people aware that they're behaving like complete arseholes. As for my fear of contamination - no I don't think I'd ever turn into a typical solow-troll.

No, probably not. You are far too clever and good-looking for that to be a worrying threat.
You nailed it, mate.
 
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