Morrissey statement on South America tour, food poisoning at TTY: "See the luck I've had"

See the luck I've had - true-to-you.net
12 July 2013

I can't give words to the sorrow I feel at the loss of perfect Peru. Oh, black cloud. After such a victorious and uplifting welcome of Lima love, the contaminated jinx had its way via a simple restaurant meal of penne pasta and tomato. Three hours later, both I, and security Liam have collapsed with a deadly and delirious bedridden disease. Five days of round-the-clock medical supervision just barely controls the corrosively toxic food poisoning. I know my luck too well. Sorrow replaces joy, and in every dream home a heartache. It could only be me.
I have returned to Los Angeles and to the expert supervision of my doctor Jeremy Fine, who assures me that I shall be fine (although not in the gossamer, powdery sense) for our upcoming shows in Argentina and Brazil. I have absolutely no idea where my beloved Chile has gone. In the heat of cancellations and postponements, the humiliation and mortification I feel on a personal level is too mammoth to be measured. If my spirits climb down any lower I could never again find the dignity to stand upright. We all live at the mercy of biological chance, and although I am not one to take refuge in clichés, I repeat my very servile apologies to any and all who back-packed their way to Peru. Alas, the dark shadow made the same journey.
Each year of life brings us nearer to our decline, but I will continue to seek a listener until I'm dead in a ditch.

with all the soul of the world
MORRISSEY
12 July 2013, Los Angeles.

 

[MORRIZSEY]

Morrissey had more moxie and balls than this in his earlier years of writing, his reading of his latter years now is like some sort of tragic Death In Venice, syphilitic Wilde patois, like a droning elder statesman with a rotting corpse. It's not that northern/Irish sardonic grit anymore, it's just pathetic.

That could be because he is viewed as a man in his fifties rather than in his twenties, and he wasn't struck by continued illnesses then. The way he constructs sentences and his emotive language hasn't really changed a great deal over the years. He is 54 and he's speaking as a 54 year old man with health problems, and he's Morrissey. I think what he's said is pretty much what we could expect from a statement from Morrissey

 

[Deleted member 1074]

That could be because he is viewed as a man in his fifties rather than in his twenties, and he wasn't struck by continued illnesses then. The way he constructs sentences and his emotive language hasn't really changed a great deal over the years. He is 54 and he's speaking as a 54 year old man with health problems, and he's Morrissey. I think what he's said is pretty much what we could expect from a statement from Morrissey

I actually expected him to mention Kate Middleton and the AOL welcome screen...

 

[MORRIZSEY]

I actually expected him to mention Kate Middleton and the AOL welcome screen...

You'll have to wait for that

 

[marisela]

so sad to hear you fell Ill food poisening is terrible! Ouch, the pains! Wishing you a speedy recovery, Argentina Awaits! ox

 

[Anonymous]

A load of cring inducing bollocks from a sad aging drama queen. I'm actually embarrassed for him.

 

[realitybites]

 

[Girlmostlikely]

I am glad he issued a statement. It's nice to hear directly from the man. Yes, the message is classic Morrissey and drenched in sadness How could he not be devastated?! I hope he's feeling better

 

[Sal Kramer]

My wife got food poisoning once, & she was better the next day.

 

[Anaesthesine]

A bad break, to be sure: humiliating, frustrating, and an awful way to halt the momentum. I do hope those tantalizing glimpses we've had of recent rehearsals are a sign of things to come - I'd love to finally hear (and see) Morrissey play the piano live. That would really be something.

Come on, "Each year of life brings us nearer to our decline, but I will continue to seek a listener until I'm dead in a ditch," is a keeper!

Yes, it is.

 

[Anonymous]

Come on Morrissey, so you come here to Lima just to eat pasta and get ill. Having so many food choices, you have to pick the most condimented and oily tomato sauce only the trattorias here make.
Glad you make an statement, because now a lot of people in the world think Peruvian food is poison. It's hard to be an "in development" country just to have a world recognized star get sick with food (which most people assumed it was peruvian cuisine) and claiming he will not come back again because of the "bad moments and ill treatement" he received.
Hope you reconsider your decision and come back again sometime. Your fans are waiting, and they'll always be waiting to see you on stage.

P.S. A little ironic the captcha I have to write is HEALTH FOOD...

 

[BrummieBoy]

Reality check. This would not have happened if Morrissey had taken the advice of the local tour management: "Morrissey with his closest, about 8 people went to eat at a restaurant outside the path indicated by us, with regrettable consequences ".

Making out it's some sort of cosmic malevolence is highly strung, to say the least. I can't see why anyone bothers to risk a tour to eat pasta and tomatoes in a 'local' Peruvian restaurant againts the promoter's advice, when such a simple dish could be easily be prepared at a four star hotel or by a tour caterer with a bottle of Milton sterlising fluid to rinse the tomatoes and onions in. Hardly rocket science.


This statement is just ridiculous melodrama to avoid taking personal responsibility for that poor decision. And especially hilarious given that 'perfect Peru' is punished by no rescheduled dates. Mind you, I doubt any promoter there would risk another wad of working capital on someone who seemingly ignored their advice on health and safety.

"I have no idea where my beloved Chile has gone".

LOL! Drop the drama...it's still there. I've just checked on the map, so is 'perfect Peru'...it's a good job Chile's still there, as someone's arranged for you return to Chile in August. Haven't they told you? So get a new GPS for the tour bus/private jet if you're driving /flying down from L.A.

For once, there is no fatuous wordplay on Royals or, as I expected, some quip about a certain celebrity chef wreaking revenge in a 'coup de gras/faux pas' word-pun. But then, Mos isn't as gifted with wordplay as he thinks.

It's no surprise to me that Morrissey's wealth enables him to have 'concierge medicine' from this Jeremey Fine bloke:

http://www.jeremyfinemd.com/Concierge.asp?PageID=2

We've seen this sort of stuff on episodes of The Real Hollywood Wives / Big,Rich Texas, and us Brits are very tolerant of dispays of private wealth for top-notch medicine as the upcoming Royal Baby birth will show. No-one sensible resents Kate her extraordinary luck in winning the health-care lottery by marrying in to historical anachronistic wealth, just as no-one resents Moz using his NME -X-Factor lottery fame-game winnings for similar purposes. Or his pack-horse tour earnings. So much more useful than Gucci trinkets and baubles, etc. Most Brits just hope that taxes paid by themseleves and entrepreneurs [such as Morrissey?] continue to fund essential basic NHS health care once we've finished bailing out those hapless bankers.

Thank God for basic health care which many Peruvians probably can only dream of if they get the shits, never mind boutique concierge stuff. My concern is how this statment will play out in traumatised Peru. Having been 'robbed by malevolent spirits' of the presence of the healing rays of Morrissey 'in performance', the denizens of Lima will, no doubt return to their humdrum lives whilst those less fortunate citizens of Peru continue to die from lack of access to uncontaminated water. Mind you, if you can afford a Morrissey ticket you probably know all about this and continue to lobby your government to take the action needed so that Peruvians do not die from contaminated water.

"“For thousands of families in Peru, the only option is to buy water supplied by tank trucks and store it,” explains UNICEF Representative in Peru Paul Martin. “This lack of access to safe drinking water translates into children having skin problems and exposes them to stomach viruses which produce recurrent diarrhoea.”

http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/peru_68355.html

Thank goodness Morrissey is safe! I can't wait for another installment of his radical subersvive art, kind of like "Martyn Lawrence Bullard as a Hollywood Me soundtrack", his next opus will decorate our humdrum lives with the minutae of his pampered histrionic lifestyle. If only those nasty capitalist record companies would give him the Hollywood budget he needs for his next album and stop being spoilsports! Martyn fights against tight-wad 'budget contraints', why shouldn't Morrissey? Ahem...

Not content with stealing Moz' persona for his T.V programme, Martyn's looking suspiciously like Morrissey on his home page at the moment. Someone should intervene. Nice dog, though.

http://martynlawrencebullard.com/

If Morrissey ever does return to Peru he might want to join up some dots/smell the coffee and highlight something other than the orchestrated welcome laid on for him by the promoter and his own foolish behaviour in ignoring the list of safe eating places.

http://www.thedonkeysanctuary.org.uk/grants/peru

 

[Anonymous]

Reality check. This would not have happened if Morrissey had taken the advice of the local tour management: "Morrissey with his closest, about 8 people went to eat at a restaurant outside the path indicated by us, with regrettable consequences ".

Making out it's some sort of cosmic malevolence is highly strung, to say the least. I can't see why anyone bothers to risk a tour to eat pasta and tomatoes in a 'local' Peruvian restaurant againts the promoter's advice, when such a simple dish could be easily be prepared at a four star hotel or by a tour caterer with a bottle of Milton sterlising fluid to rinse the tomatoes and onions in. Hardly rocket science.


This statement is just ridiculous melodrama to avoid taking personal responsibility for that poor decision. And especially hilarious given that 'perfect Peru' is punished by no rescheduled dates. Mind you, I doubt any promoter there would risk another wad of working capital on someone who seemingly ignored their advice on health and safety.

"I have no idea where my beloved Chile has gone".

LOL! Drop the drama...it's still there. I've just checked on the map, so is 'perfect Peru'...it's a good job Chile's still there, as someone's arranged for you return to Chile in August. Haven't they told you? So get a new GPS for the tour bus/private jet if you're driving /flying down from L.A.

For once, there is no fatuous wordplay on Royals or, as I expected, some quip about a certain celebrity chef wreaking revenge in a 'coup de gras/faux pas' word-pun. But then, Mos isn't as gifted with wordplay as he thinks.

It's no surprise to me that Morrissey's wealth enables him to have 'concierge medicine' from this Jeremey Fine bloke:

http://www.jeremyfinemd.com/Concierge.asp?PageID=2

We've seen this sort of stuff on episodes of The Real Hollywood Wives / Big,Rich Texas, and us Brits are very tolerant of dispays of private wealth for top-notch medicine as the upcoming Royal Baby birth will show. No-one sensible resents Kate her extraordinary luck in winning the health-care lottery by marrying in to historical anachronistic wealth, just as no-one resents Moz using his NME -X-Factor lottery fame-game winnings for similar purposes. Or his pack-horse tour earnings. So much more useful than Gucci trinkets and baubles, etc. Most Brits just hope that taxes paid by themseleves and entrepreneurs [such as Morrissey?] continue to fund essential basic NHS health care once we've finished bailing out those hapless bankers.

Thank God for basic health care which many Peruvians probably can only dream of if they get the shits, never mind boutique concierge stuff. My concern is how this statment will play out in traumatised Peru. Having been 'robbed by malevolent spirits' of the presence of the healing rays of Morrissey 'in performance', the denizens of Lima will, no doubt return to their humdrum lives whilst those less fortunate citizens of Peru continue to die from lack of access to uncontaminated water. Mind you, if you can afford a Morrissey ticket you probably know all about this and continue to lobby your government to take the action needed so that Peruvians do not die from contaminated water.

"“For thousands of families in Peru, the only option is to buy water supplied by tank trucks and store it,” explains UNICEF Representative in Peru Paul Martin. “This lack of access to safe drinking water translates into children having skin problems and exposes them to stomach viruses which produce recurrent diarrhoea.”

http://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/peru_68355.html

Thank goodness Morrissey is safe! I can't wait for another installment of his radical subersvive art, kind of like "Martyn Lawrence Bullard as a Hollywood Me soundtrack", his next opus will decorate our humdrum lives with the minutae of his pampered histrionic lifestyle. If only those nasty capitalist record companies would give him the Hollywood budget he needs for his next album and stop being spoilsports! Martyn fights against tight-wad 'budget contraints', why shouldn't Morrissey? Ahem...

Not content with stealing Moz' persona for his T.V programme, Martyn's looking suspiciously like Morrissey on his home page at the moment. Someone should intervene. Nice dog, though.

http://martynlawrencebullard.com/

If Morrissey ever does return to Peru he might want to join up some dots/smell the coffee and highlight something other than the orchestrated welcome laid on for him by the promoter and his own foolish behaviour in ignoring the list of safe eating places.

http://www.thedonkeysanctuary.org.uk/grants/peru

Don't worry about the royal comments, they will come very soon after the birth I can guarantee you that one. He just won't be able to contain himself he's a laughing stock these days and I hope his ring is still stinging from metal Peru goo-goo muck !
Right ! I better go and count todays whopping takings and light the hog roast not forgetting the humus for the carrot munchers


Benny-the-Butcher

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Morrissey has an elegant way of setting our minds at ease.

This is what I would've put on TTY:

 

[Anonymous]

Be a MAN a do what you have to do, in Lima we all know that you left Peru because your concerts didn't sold out as expected.

 

[Anonymous]

PPS/ Apologies for mispelling "entertainment". I trusted the South American pronunciation.

Today I saw a coach with a "Sunny" logo on it. That tour bus wouldn't be followed by anything dark I bet. (Except if it had "Black Cloud" on the other side, naturally).

There are so many ways to avoid bad shit happening to you. So many.

Throwing my arms around Peru, but then again maybe it's better this way?

DS.

 

[Deleted member 1074]

Morrissey has an elegant way of setting our minds at ease.

This is what I would've put on TTY:

tg;dr

 

[Anonymous]

Reality check. This would not have happened if Morrissey had taken the advice of the local tour management: "Morrissey with his closest, about 8 people went to eat at a restaurant outside the path indicated by us, with regrettable consequences ".

Making out it's some sort of cosmic malevolence is highly strung, to say the least. I can't see why anyone bothers to risk a tour to eat pasta and tomatoes in a 'local' Peruvian restaurant againts the promoter's advice, when such a simple dish could be easily be prepared at a four star hotel or by a tour caterer with a bottle of Milton sterlising fluid to rinse the tomatoes and onions in. Hardly rocket science.


This statement is just ridiculous melodrama to avoid taking personal responsibility for that poor decision. And especially hilarious given that 'perfect Peru' is punished by no rescheduled dates. Mind you, I doubt any promoter there would risk another wad of working capital on someone who seemingly ignored their advice on health and safety.

How about THIS reality check:

1) We only have the local tour management/PR's word for it - and, having done a lot of business in South America, it simply doesn't ring true to me. Sounds to me more like a worried local tour manager fearing a lawsuit and/or PR backlash and quickly covering his/her back. You have no way of knowing whether a list/map was provided and/or how clearly it was emphasised to eat only at restaurants on the list/map. You have no way of knowing the source of the food poisoning either so immediately your entire post is rendered risible and worthless (not for the first time).

2) Come on love, if you haven't figured out that Morrissey deals in tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, where have you been for the last thirty years...? If you want "measured, dispassionate and literal" you're looking in the wrong place.

Change the record, Brummie Boy; your latest narcissistic diatribe is, as ever, hilariously WRONG. Morrissey has never been - and will never be - the person you tediously and predictably berate him for not being.

 

[Anonymous]

I agree. Moz did nothing wrong. It was the stupid chef who used rotten tomatoes or tainted water or whatever happened there. I was mortified and humiliated last night because my dance instructor does nothing but flirt. I can't even tell him something serious without him thinking I'm asking him on a date. If I accidentally add an extra "cha" to the cha-cha-cha, he fake slaps my hand and calls me a "naughty girl." He makes comments like, "This world is too feminist. It should be more chauvinist." He doesn't even know who Morrissey is.

Now if I can endure all that then I think Morrissey's spirits should go up, up, up! Blue skies!

I have nothing but the utmost respect and appreciation for Morrissey, his statement is so honest and heartily, and I don't think he should feel any "humiliation and mortification" whatsoever, being sick is out of one's control and we all know he was very excited about the tour and wouldn't have postponed anything if he could..
We are your fans Morrissey and we love you no matter what happens; tour or no tour, record deal or no record deal, etc

 

[Luke Action McClure]

I am glad he issued a statement. It's nice to hear directly from the man. Yes, the message is classic Morrissey and drenched in sadness How could he not be devastated?! I hope he's feeling better

Aren't you the one that kept droning on and boring everyone to death about how it HAD to be something else, and that it HAD to be an ill family member?

 

[Johnny Barleycorn]

New TTY statement.

"Despair! Despond! Slough and her environs. Peru! Peru!! Peru!!! Peru-be-do-be do, where are you? One simple trip, by piggy back through passport control and yet met mere hours later with such cramps? Ah, the Cramps. They were good. A simple repast, of a fruit of colour red, known as vegetable to the foolish, and pasta penne, bowties were off, innocently mixed in a bucket of lukewarm water with a mop, in the Andean tradition, has lain Liam, and yes, your Singer low. So low. So low. (Those f***ers...) Liam lain low. Mmmmm. Lowly-lowly-low. How low can one be at high altitude? Ask I shall tell. For days I lay. Delirium. Nightmares. Tossing. Dates fell through. As did all else. The humiliation! The embarrassment! The insurance claims forms! Woe. I came to entertain. And for those little hats. Or is that Bolivia? No matter. Shattered. Battered. To the city of Angels I retired. An husk. To the arms of Doctor Not Bad; a bug, a hug and a plug. Wither Brasil? Art thou there Chile, my child? Don't fry for me Argentina!! I shall bring my own chef. Await me! I shall come! Each breath brings us closer to the grave. Each beat of my heart shudders in my chest, a reminder to us all of our inevitable expungement from this veil.

With a sorrow deep, and nary a peep."

Morrissey
Not South America
13th July 2013