Morrissey secrets about to be revealed in media

I live in Rome and when Morrissey lived here, I often saw him out and about wearing a fake moustache eating spaghetti with massive meatballs. Once he came in to my favourite restaurant and had an entree of three giant lobsters followed by a small Tuscan pig that had been roasted whole on a spit and then placed on top of a giant pile of spaghetti. I had never before seen a human consume so much meat and so many carbs in one sitting.
I work at a kebab store in London, I won't say which one, but every time Morrissey is in town he sneaks in with a scarf wrapped around his face and orders two doner kebabs to go. I was wondering who he gives the second kebab to, and then a bloke who knows a bloke who knows Moz said that he eats both of them, he just loves kebabs so much
I work at Mcdonalds drive thru in Essex, yesterday I was working the window as usual, who should drive up in a Vauxhall but Mozza!
He was wearing shades and a cap but I knew it was him!
He ordered a cheeseburger, trying to disguise his voice
You're not going to believe what happened next!
One of the Mcdonalds security guards saw Mozza sitting in his parked car outside the restaurant , he was f***ing his cheeseburger! He had the burger around his cock and was wanking off with it!
The guard tapped on his window and Moz looked scared and drove off !
This is a true story! I know it was Mozza!!
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