Hi,
I have wondered for quite some time how Morrissey fans who are in relationships or married or have children feel about songs such as im ok by myself, will never marry, im the end of the family line and ambitious outsiders etc. Do you find these songs difficult to relate to? Or do you still really love them? Maybe you dont even listen to them or think they are just crap songs regardless of subject matter? Just curious. Look forward to hearing some answers.
Permit me to ramble?
I think he wouldn't be writing those songs if they were 100% true for him. There's no need to tell the world that you're OK by yourself if you're actually OK by yourself. I mean, the man's entire career is based on wanting love and not being able to find it... And he's recently compared never being someone's sweetie to crashing and breaking one's spine, which is about as bad as it gets. So, it's not like he's saying we're wrong for having looked for (and found) love; he just hasn't done the same thing. Yet.
And, really, before we had someone we were all in the same boat. I never in a million years expected to be lucky in love. I was the loneliest person in the universe before I met my husband, so I still relate to those days very easily. (Without Morrissey I don't know that I'd have my husband. We bonded over The Smiths early on.)
Remember also that most people are at least somewhat unhappy in their love relationship. I'm lucky enough to be 99.9% happy in that way, but many (if not most) of my friends who are in relationships are still trying to iron out the kinks. We're all basically alone, you know.
What does bother me is when Morrissey starts generalizing about marriage and parenthood in interviews. It's insulting to me at the same time that I agree with him. I want to shake him and say, "But
I didn't have a child because society expected me to!
I thought really hard about it!" The thing is, sadly, he's right for the most part. MOST people do end up with some doofus they met in a bar and then they have kids because the timing is right. (Or their birth control failed.) Life by default. He's also right that that's no way to live and I'm glad he's held out and not settled. Some of us actually do find True Love though, and I think he'd like to get in on that.
"Ambitious Outsiders" could be interpreted in a really offensive way if I was feeling uncharitiable, but I try to remember that Morrissey doesn't always write lyrics from his own perspective. Whenever he writes as if life and love (even for one's child) aren't important I know he's either writing from someone else's perspective or just experiementing with ideas. Life ("is a very serious business") and love are EVERYTHING to him. Well, and art.
... Sometimes I don't think he realizes that art can exist alongside love and family, though, simply because he has never found that balance.