Morrissey A-Z: "When You Open Your Legs"

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
I’m not going to say it’s garbage, because the vocal melody is kind of pretty, but goddamn is this an annoying song. And why is he getting thrown out of nightclubs in the wee hours of the morning?
 

BookishBoy

Well-Known Member
I’m not going to say it’s garbage, because the vocal melody is kind of pretty, but goddamn is this an annoying song. And why is he getting thrown out of nightclubs in the wee hours of the morning?
To be fair that's happened to me as well, when I've gone up to strangers in clubs and asked them to open their legs.
 

Flibberty

Well-Known Member
One of the lesser songs from one of Morrissey's lesser albums.

It is far too repetitive and too musically polite, as well.

I agree that the vocal melody isn't bad.

In the poll on the Hoffman board it ranked equal 229th from 264 solo songs.
 

Skylarker

Pollyanna
Still can't make up my mind about this one. I either hate it or love it.

Gorgeous vocal melody...excellent chorus lyrics.

Hate the middle eastern theme that plagues the second half of this record, of which this song is a great example.

Decent song. Far from the worst on the album.
 

gordyboy9

rip roaring,free scoring,never boring, celtic.
i dont mind it,it moves along at a nice gentle pace,voice is great on this.i dont think itdeserves its low ranking.
8 4am/10 tel aviv.
 

Carlislebaz

Cock of the north
I’ve always thought the lyrics were about that Moz has pulled in a nightclub and been asked to leave for a bit of slap and tickle....
Of course as per usual us fans are always the last to know what flavour he will be slapping about and being tickled from.....
But he is in a nightclub in Tel-Aviv
So if you can’t work that one out you need a good slap yourself.....
The song is catchy and uplifting and
One of the better songs from the album.
RE the album it’s what I would call half and half,
Half of the songs are great,
And the other half not so great

9/ Slaps
10/Tickles
 

Gregor Samsa

I straighten up, and my position is one of hope.
To be fair that's happened to me as well, when I've gone up to strangers in clubs and asked them to open their legs.
Ha! Fair enough!
 

This Charming Bowie

Welcome to this knockabout world
One of my least favourites from an album of many highs and lows.
The Middle-Eastern theme continues as it has been throughout the second side / half of the album (a Moz concept album?), and this is the song that perhaps musically integrates these melodic ideas most fully. I don't really care for the trumpet fanfare: compared to "Carol" from a few days ago, this just seems clunky and nothing more than a verse-chorus transitionary moment that kind of stops any flow created in either.
The vocal melodies, thankfully, are great, specifically the "and once again" part of the verse - some nice leaps there. I wish I could say the same for the lyrics: painfully simple, the verse only containing two measly lines!
The rest of the composition prevents a full Titanic sinking of the tune, with some nice chord changes in the chorus, and some nice guitar movement. There's also some extra texture with a faint organ drone, but I think that it needs more to seem more grandiose as it is clearly aiming to be (enjoy the Morricone whistling, though - now we just need some more strings!).
This was played in concert, as with most of the LIHS songs, at the time, but gradually faded away along with the majority of the others (save "I Wish You Lonely" and "Home Is A Question Mark," two of the album's greatest moments.)
5/10
 

Mozmar

Well-Known Member
I really do like this track. The voice is superb (again); love the opening drum roll, and the 'staccato' style drum work generally here. The trumpeting is fine by me, & love the whistling outro. The LIHS album generally gets an undeserved bashing from some on here, but I'm really fond of it, & think it only contains one possible 'duffer', & this track definitely isn't it, by a long chalk.
 

Phranc & Open

Just another phranc!
Very typical sound bows for the late Morrissey. A bit Far Eastern and a bit Bolero, a lot of plastic drama and a strange lyric. At the end of the day, he can release whatever he wants and thinks is great (I can hear the tolerant rest screaming) but he also has to accept that huge parts of his decades-long fanbase doesn't go along with this development and applaud it. Artistically and creatively, this is the dregs of his work.
 

BookishBoy

Well-Known Member
So in the last two days we've had "When You Close Your Eyes" and "When You Open Your Legs" but if Morrissey was to record a third song in this trilogy, what would he call it? When You X Your Y's.... any thoughts?
 
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