'Assad is Shit'
Morrissey is using stage T-shirts instead of Twitter!
He'd be great on Twitter. Brief, gnomic utterances, wisecracks and putdowns. Of course he'd follow no one even as he'd have a million following him.
Can't wait for the autobiography/hagiography.
You probably haven't even looked at MorrisseysWorld. Here's the thing - Morrissey is boring these days. He's bitter and not very witty. MorrisseysWorld is actually better than Morrissey would be with his whining and self-congratulation.
MorrisseysWorld is brief wth gnomic utterances, wisecracks and putdowns. You wouldn't know because you haven't look.
Have a look:
Friday, 4 November 2011
Our Mozzer's hand-picked top 25 Twitticisms
MorrisseysWorld on twitter has been described as 'Almost as good as having Oscar Wilde with us - with loads of free time on his hands and a broadband connection courtesy of those kind DSS people.' Love him or loathe him, Our Mozzer has changed the face of twitter - possibly for ever - but sadly the press haven't noticed this yet; it's very much a Velvet Underground moment: his account should be globally famous but nobody has heard of it. Will he have more followers than Justin Bieber by 2030?
From dreary, self-absorbed 'celebs' telling you what they had for breakfast, how tired they are, and where you can buy, buy, buy their latest perfume - to Our Mozzer's gritty realism, dazzling ironic wit and glumly romantic social commentary. Will twitter ever be the same again? How long will it be before the twitter world finally realises there is a genius in their midst?
These are Our Mozzer's hand-picked top 25 twitticisms from his first few weeks on twitter:
1 The only thing to be in 1983 was handsome. The only thing to be in 2011 is retweetable.
2 It seems to me that love is the act of putting up with someone whom you no longer find interesting and hatred is what inevitably follows.
3 To be successful one has to delude oneself just sufficiently to feel one is terribly important; thence the delusion becomes the reality.
4 Each morning I'm an optimist, and by the evening I'm a realist once again.
5 Socrates wrote "The unexamined life is not worth living." Had he heard one of my records he might well have disagreed.
6 If Elton ever gets round to making his biopic, they should double it up as a Persil ad. One endless round of dirty laundry washed in public.
7 Cynicism is the principal flaw of the cruel, and the greatest virtue of the kind-hearted.
8 Being 52 I probably have fewer brain cells than most of you – but they’re better organised, and the loneliness is driving them to greatness.
9 Life is just like Morrissey: the less you understand of it, the easier it is to love.
10 When I'm kind, I'm called dull; when I'm dull, I'm called awkward; when I'm playful I'm called cruel; and when I'm cruel I'm called witty
11 Did I ruin your life? Did I render you hopelessly dependent on doom-laden pop music? Then it's just as well I'm here!
12 The Smiths remain a curiosity: the content have no need for them, and the malcontents only become more malcontented.
13 I’d rather have syphilis than Morrissey-solow. At least syphilis goes away for about twenty years.
14 The more sex you have, the less it means. In the end you may as well have been Morrissey as Boy George.
15 The American Dream consists of imagining one can be anything at all, while accepting that one is absolutely nothing.
16 If Madonna were a fast food chain, she'd be McDonalds: tasteless meat on display; regrettable style; people keep popping in to use the loo.
17 I am 50% sincerity, 50% insincerity and 50% mistaken.
18 All great poetry is just one word away from an Elton John lyric.
19 Having spent the past two years sitting next to Cheryl Cole, Simon Cowell may well consider Hell a lucky escape.
20 Close your eyes and try to imagine how dangerous Chesney Hawkes would have been if he had had a CAREER. Then switch off the X Factor.
21 If you're not having enough sex, you can think of nothing else. And if you are having enough, you are probably having too much.
22 I could sing like a constipated rodent with a clothes peg on its nose and bleat witlessly over breakbeats but what would Thom Yorke do then?
23 Idealists know the value of everything and the price only of their own dreaminess.
24 I would love to say I've been horribly misunderstood, but I don't understand myself well enough to know
25 Upon death, I shall sigh softly and whisper, ‘No more need to worry anymore. There are no Brit Awards Ceremonies in Hell. - Are there?”
MorrisseysWorld The most fashionable style is honesty. One's heart makes for an attractive cufflink.
