Ive Met Paul Heaton

Stuheff

Sing your Strife
Apologies if you've seen this already - posted this on the front page but thought Id put it here in case you missed it. Plus I forgot to put spaces in on the front page one!

I wouldn’t normally bother with this kind of thing however I feel I must as I have first hand experience of both Messers Heaton and Morrissey. And I must interject to state what I know/have heard about both these characters personally.

I used to work in a pub in Leeds where the genial Landlord was very good friends with Paul Heaton. I used to serve Paul copious amounts of Castlemaine XXX regularly, and I can state without questions that he is a C**t of the highest order. He would also bang on all day drunk about how great a socialist he is and how the working man deserves better – easy to say when you’ve got fortunes. Apart from shouting his orders at all bar staff – not just me personally, he would demand preferential treatment. Abuse customers, throw peanuts or crisps around and generally be a twat. He verbally abused my now wife (who used to work in the same pub) about the size of her breasts. At Xmas time he would tell anyone who said happy Xmas – to him or anyone around him to “f**k off”. I witnessed all of the above and there are many other stories about this odious human being. Unfortunately I quite like the Beautiful South, but the man himself I wouldn’t piss on if he was burning – unless I could piss petrol.

Im meeting all my old Leeds pub chums tonight – if anyone is interested in any more stories of this horrific man let me know and Ill take my notebook tonight.

Now for Mr Moz, my Best mate was a catering firm manager. In 2002 he did all the food for Moz’s Royal Albert Hall Dates in Europe. Whilst he said that the Vegetraianism thing drove him mad in terms of logistically organising to Moz’s tastes of no meat whatsoever and ensuring all the food was prepared away from meat and no burger vans were around etc… He got to meet the great man and thought him charming. Also he stated that although a nightmare to organise they got paid above market rates for their troubles and the bonuses were fantastic.

Take it or leave it, but all this racism stuff is driving me mad and I will not have a twat like Heaton slag Moz off.
 
For many years, I have prayed nightly for Mr Heaton's horrific death, so any more tales to stoke my rage would be greatly appreciated.. ;)
 
It is a shame that assholes like that guy dare criticize Morrissey.:cool:
 
i think its the only way heaton can get news these days by slagging people off, hes shite his music is shite and his views are shite all in all hes shite, so fu*k him
 
The Cat's Mother said that she used to work with Heaten's ex-girlfriend who was a decent lady.

Heaten didn't deserve her.
 
He gave up the drink and moved to trendy Chorlton (South Manchester). Not known for it socialism or for being working class. He comes across as bit of a skinny Prescott? Working class my arse!
 
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He gave up the drink and moved to trendy Chorlton (South Manchester). Not known for it socialism or for being working class. He comes across as bit of a skinny Prescott? Working class my arse!


Heaton could moved back to Sheffield.
 
American ignorance: who is Paul Heaton? Saw his myspace blather on the front page but have no idea who he is. . .

--jeniphir
 
Why didn't anyone slap him!


He was/is VERY good mates with the landlord and therefore being poor students and not wanting to let a little pr**ck cost us our £3.50 an hour. Also, he wasnt in there all the time - bout 10 times a year. Drinking on his own. And by christ he let every know it.



....take your note book!

I shall take my ears, notebook and dictaphone. Although as soon as Mrs Heff heres his name these days a rant of day long proprotions ensues.
 
Why didn't anyone slap him!


He was/is VERY good mates with the landlord and therefore being poor students and not wanting to let a little pr**ck cost us our £3.50 an hour. Also, he wasnt in there all the time - bout 10 times a year. Drinking on his own. And by christ he let every know it.
 
Thanks Stu. The story was funny but hardly unexpected. Anyone who has followed the career of Mr. Heaton probably guessed, as I did, that his Morrisseyist rant was probably the last thing he did before blacking out from a three-day drinking binge. He probably awoke an hour later in a puddle of drool, discovering his swollen head had smashed into the keyboard and typed the letter 'M' a billion times.

It's also not surprising that the two most vocal critics of Morrissey's remarks, from the world of pop music anyway, were both direct rivals of his in the Eighties. Billy Bragg and the Housemartins/Beautiful South were very different musically but lyrically they often echoed Morrissey in some key respects. As talented writers themselves it must have galled them to no end wilting in the shadows of the critics' darling. Sad to see the ugly head of jealousy pop up a full twenty years on.
 
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it makes me sad- morrissey and heaton should be so alike , 2 mid age northern english guys, writing bout life they observe in such a witty gritty sharp way , i wont stop liking heatons music just because of this -these 2 geniuses should be collaborating not poles apart.
 
his Morrisseyist rant was probably the last thing he did before blacking out from a three-day drinking binge. He probably awoke an hour later in a puddle of drool, discovering his swollen head had smashed into the keyboard and typed the letter 'M' a billion times.

Unlikely,considering he's given up the drink and looking remarkably healthy nowadays.Perhaps,he's packed in his crisp collecting too
 
Unlikely,considering he's given up the drink and looking remarkably healthy nowadays.Perhaps,he's packed in his crisp collecting too

Good for him, I didn't know that.

Now he can be sober reading the countless articles calling Morrissey the greatest lyricist of the last twenty years and the Housemartins "the band that launched Fatboy Slim".
 
Now he can be sober reading the countless articles calling Morrissey the greatest lyricist of the last twenty years and the Housemartins "the band that launched Fatboy Slim".

..and,possibly,counting his pennies from The Beautiful South's enormous album sales.
God,he HAS changed !

phbychurchgrayscale.jpg
 
..and,possibly,counting his pennies from The Beautiful South's enormous album sales.
God,he HAS changed !

He looks good for his age.

I'm sensing some pro-Heaton vibes here. I should clarify that I really like both the Housemartins and The Beautiful South. Heaton is a gifted lyricist and "Choke" is one of my favorite albums. But I've always suspected he isn't someone you'd ever want to meet, and his Morrissey rant and Stuheff's story sort of confirmed that for me.
 
He looks good for his age.

I'm sensing some pro-Heaton vibes here. I should clarify that I really like both the Housemartins and The Beautiful South. Heaton is a gifted lyricist and "Choke" is one of my favorite albums. But I've always suspected he isn't someone you'd ever want to meet, and his Morrissey rant and Stuheff's story sort of confirmed that for me.

I'm not pro-heaton or anti-heaton.Thought he was a great singer and writer though I've not heard his latest stuff.Think he was using the pseudonym Biscuit Boy for a while.
Wouldn't like to meet him but,then again,probably wouldn't like to meet Moz either.
All this bickering among heroes of my youth is quite funny though :)

We just need the Modfather and Wee Jimi S to join in now
They've ALL gone far far far away from Red Wedge
 
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Coinsidentally BBC London's Danny Baker show played Beautiful South's cover version of Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now about twenty minutes ago.
However, co-presenter Amy Lame who is a huge fan of Morrissey forced to stop, then replaced by Sinatra.

Hurrah to Amy. :D
 
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