I stole and I lied and why because you asked me to

[Dave]

I used to steal this in high school. The market had it in the cooler down this long aisle, on a low shelf, and all you had to do was grab it and then go buy something else. My friend Jan used to put it in her purse sometimes, but in the winter I'd put it in my jacket.

Maybe this thread should be called bought on stolen wine...

Flat pint bottles of vodka, I'd just stick down my pants. I hardly drink now, but it was exciting to do it when it wasn't allowed.

what did you steal?

 

[Corrissey]

Crystal Point Mall, 5th Grade.

 

[iamnicola]

I really haven't stole anything. I do take crap loads of trial sized perfume from the deparment stores.

 

[Reelaround]

Sad :

 

[LegalTender]

i used to steal books, journals, pens, stationary, etc. constantly from a bookstore.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

I used to work at a bookstore. Two different bookstores, actually.

In high school, I worked briefly at The Gap (back when they sold socks to match every item in their line and still sold sweats.) One night during the back to school rush, I caught two younger boys stealing shirts. I couldn't get around the rack fast enough to actually see it happen, and they got out of the store before I could find a manager. Later, when the empty hangers were found, my manager blamed me for letting it happen, because I was the one assigned to that section of the store. Damn kids probably had their own cars, and more money than they knew what to do with. I was working there to have money to buy clothes for school, and CDs. If I didn't have a job, I would have very little allowance for things like that. I was fired shortly after that.

 

[Dave]

I know stealing is good because Morrissey approves.

 

[iamnicola]

I used to work at a bookstore. Two different bookstores, actually.

In high school, I worked briefly at The Gap (back when they sold socks to match every item in their line and still sold sweats.) One night during the back to school rush, I caught two younger boys stealing shirts. I couldn't get around the rack fast enough to actually see it happen, and they got out of the store before I could find a manager. Later, when the empty hangers were found, my manager blamed me for letting it happen, because I was the one assigned to that section of the store. Damn kids probably had their own cars, and more money than they knew what to do with. I was working there to have money to buy clothes for school, and CDs. If I didn't have a job, I would have very little allowance for things like that. I was fired shortly after that.

That's terrible.

 

[Cassius]

Once one of my coworkers stole about three thousand dollars from a pizza place I used to work at. I didn't know he did it at the time, everyone thought someone had broken in. The owner blamed me for it, and I had to talk to the police and sign a statement saying what happened that night. They figured out I didn't do it, but not before it damaged the relationship I had with my boss. He cut down my hours to so little I couldn't even afford to go to work and I quit soon afterwards.

 

[yesitis]

i used to steal books, journals, pens, stationary, etc. constantly from a bookstore.

same here.

 

[Reelaround]

Once one of my coworkers stole about three thousand dollars from a pizza place I used to work at. I didn't know he did it at the time, everyone thought someone had broken in. The owner blamed me for it, and I had to talk to the police and sign a statement saying what happened that night. They figured out I didn't do it, but not before it damaged the relationship I had with my boss. He cut down my hours to so little I couldn't even afford to go to work and I quit soon afterwards.  
Today 02:17 AM

Shoplifters of the world can be an ambiguous title for a song you see, from this fine example

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

That's terrible.

Well, to balance it out, I will admit that in college, I would steal approximately $2.27 from the register every few days. I would do this by voiding out a transaction for a certain ice cream combination that we sold often. I did this solely so that I could afford to buy milk and bread on the way home from work. I was a very poor college student.

Oh, this is good. One night, I was working at the same ice cream store in college. It was literally just around the corner from my apartment, on the same block. There was a shortcut through parking lots in the middle of the block, it took me all of a minute and a half to walk to work.

Anyway, it was the first really warm spring night, and we'd had lines out the door all night long. We had to clear out the excess cash because another location had been held up at knifepoint. Periodically I had to take cash out of the register and put it away in a file cabinet. But we were so busy that I didn't have time to get the keys and unlock the file cabinet. So I cleared all the excess cash out of the register and walked back into the tiny kitchen/dish area, then stuffed it down the front of my pants and got back to work. Somehow, this was the most logical thing to do at the time.

Much, much later that night, after sweeping and mopping, taking ice cream machines apart and cleaning them and putting them back together, I went home, wearily. I was getting ready for bed and took off my shorts. Big wads of cash fell out. I panicked, thinking of poor Mr. Hurstwood in Sister Carrie, and quickly got dressed, stuffed the cash back in my shorts, ran back to work, unlocked the doors, and put the cash in its rightful place. The owner sometimes came by very late at night so the money wouldn't be in store overnight, and it turned out I missed him by minutes. Hurstwood, indeed.

I'm thinking now about how hard I worked back then. I always had shit jobs, and busted my ass mopping and waitressing and all that, and I have nothing to show for it now.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Mostly books. I stole St Morrissey from Borders last. I keep saying I'm going to return it but it must've been like 2 inventories ago so why bother? I also stole some sunscreen from a convenience store before walking in the desert looking for Madonna of the Rocks. No joke. Oh yeah, I also stole a Volvo that trip too. S80, silver, leather seats.

But Id NEVER dine 'n' dash. That's just rude. And I returned the car.

 

[Chico]

I used to do home invasion robberies.
You know, where you bring the whole family down and tie them up in the living room while you cart off their possessions... I and the people I robbed can I'm sure think back and have a laugh now in good humor, but at the time it wasn't so funny.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I used to do home invasion robberies.
You know, where you bring the whole family down and tie them up in the living room while you cart off their possessions... I and the people I robbed can I'm sure think back and have a laugh now in good humor, but at the time it wasn't so funny.

Yeah right.

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

i never steal

to do so would be to violate the code of honor i strictly abide by
and really i have no choice in the matter, i just simply care about my personal honor more than well, anything else on the earth
but i now consider this an addiction
and wish to someday be like the rest of you who steal all the time


ps: what i do whilst drunk dont count, which is ok, cuz i rarely remember that

 

[iamnicola]

I used to do home invasion robberies.
You know, where you bring the whole family down and tie them up in the living room while you cart off their possessions... I and the people I robbed can I'm sure think back and have a laugh now in good humor, but at the time it wasn't so funny.

Shut up! You never did that.

 

[Not Right in the Head]

Just once--a few candybars from the store at Scout camp. While employed as a counselor. Along with several other counselors. Including the kid in charge of the store. He planned everything--it was a midnight breakin.

 

[Cassius]

Once when I was little I stole but I didn't mean too. Some boys told me the rice krispy treats in the cafeteria were free so I grabbed one and ate it. I found out later they were twenty five cents. Oops.

 

[Seasick]

I was a good kid, I wouldn't do you no harm. I haven't stole anything. My life is just boring I guess.