I stole and I lied and why because you asked me to

I stole a police cone once when drunk and I kept it in my bedroom for ages until it started to smell of piss and then I put it in the garden.
 
That little hole at the top of the cone does come in handy at 3 in the morning, eh?

one of the bands i was in set up an upside down cone above a giant bucket for general effluvium. well, mostly spit. i just wanted to say effluvium.
 
one of the bands i was in set up an upside down cone above a giant bucket for general effluvium. well, mostly spit. i just wanted to say effluvium.

I think we should go on Dragon's Den. I think the bars of Islington are ready for a modern day spittoon.
 
I think we should go on Dragon's Den. I think the bars of Islington are ready for a modern day spittoon.

ok. we need to think of a clever name though. and you have to do all the talking or i'll just call all the dragons c***s.
 
ok. we need to think of a clever name though. and you have to do all the talking or i'll just call all the dragons c***s.

Clever
Universal
Non drip
Tinted
Spittoons

Me: Morning, we are
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: here to showcase our new product design
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: Which I believe will be a permanent
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: fixture in every drinking establishment. We believe, that you Dragons are ...
Yesitis: c***S!!

I reckon it could work.
 
Clever
Universal
Non drip
Tinted
Spittoons

Me: Morning, we are
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: here to showcase our new product design
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: Which I believe will be a permanent
Yesitis: c***S!!
Me: fixture in every drinking establishment. We believe, that you Dragons are ...
Yesitis: c***S!!

I reckon it could work.

they'll love it! the c***s.

can i then beat them all to death? i think it would go over well.
 
Books from the library at my secondary school. I kept forgetting to return them.
 
I won't name any names, but a few posters have claimed they steal because they are poor, starving, blah blah blah. Stop lying. You stole because of a moral lapse. Examine your moral lapses and correct yourselves.
 
blah blah blah


exactly. Theo, you are turning into a cranky boring old f***er. One of these days when you try to get tough with some kid they will slit your jugular and you'll wish you would have learned to shut the f*** up, dumbass. :D
 
Why would you steal unless you were starving?
 
Why would you steal unless you were starving?

If you were starving, would you steal Little Debbie Snack Cakes? That's a junk-food indulgence with zero nutritional value.

And if you're poor, you don't have to steal books. There are these things called public libraries where you can read books all day long for free.

I don't care for people who try and justify their moral lapses. We all have moral lapses, but people need to quit spinning them into something else.
 
If you were starving, would you steal Little Debbie Snack Cakes? That's a junk-food indulgence with zero nutritional value.

And if you're poor, you don't have to steal books. There are these things called public libraries where you can read books all day long for free.

I don't care for people who try and justify their moral lapses. We all have moral lapses, but people need to quit spinning them into something else.

Agreed.
 
Why would you steal unless you were starving?

The reason I don't steal (anymore) is because it's not worth the risk. It would be embarrassing to get caught, and I'd hate to have a record. If I can't afford something I don't really need it anyway.

I used to feel sorry for people that got caught shoplifting until I (famously ;) ) worked in K-Mart for a while. I took it personally, then, like they thought they were stealing from me. I caught these kids trying to steal CD's and I just made them leave and told them not to come back. There was a girl that I had to help catch though. They knew she was doing it and they called and told me to follow her. I thought they might give her a chance to pay or call her parents, but they took her in the security office and showed her the video and called the police. She was crying and I felt bad for her, but the managers were all happy they had caught someone. The security manager especially because most of the time she just walked around eating candy bars, so I guess it showed she was doing her job.

The only one I was really mad at was this girl that took $50 from my register while I was on break, but they caught her too, and charged her. She will have that on her record the rest of her life, and will either have to tell them or lie and hope they don't check every time she goes to get a job.

If you are hungry, at least in the US, there are places that give food. I think that the things people usually steal are things that they want but can't afford. And then there are people that do it for the thrill, or because they are drug addicts and have scams to turn the stolen goods into cash.

There are also people that just figure that it is built into the cost of the things the store sells, and that this makes it alright.
 
Tags
collecting information dave = mentally ill dave = the greatest dave coming unhinged dave's a tax cheat douching for cleanliness nrith has a crush on dave pipe down theo. pope theo
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