I hate my job!

[Jackie London]

We also have a Scandinavian girl at work,in the office -sorry to bore you all,and shes quite plain looking,and about 25 (think Jackie London,but with teeth)But today I found out shes sleeping with my team leader who's about 55 and bears a passing resemlance to Norman Tebbit circa 1985.

Oh god. Why the hell would a 25 year old cute scandinavian girl want to sleep with an ugly 55 year old guy? He's probably fat and sweaty and just disgusting....it would be like me sleeping with Billy!!!
Today I saw a mum (I would guess around 25) really fat and wearing some sort of ugly trousers, with a really ugly baby....but the dad was really hot (yes, it was the mum and dad, the baby called them mummy and daddy). Strange. They were going out from McDonalds by the way.

 

[billy scissors]

Oh god. Why the hell would a 25 year old cute scandinavian girl want to sleep with an ugly 55 year old guy? He's probably fat and sweaty and just disgusting....it would be like me sleeping with Billy!!!
Today I saw a mum (I would guess around 25) really fat and wearing some sort of ugly trousers, with a really ugly baby....but the dad was really hot (yes, it was the mum and dad, the baby called them mummy and daddy). Strange. They were going out from McDonalds by the way.

Were you on your way to Matalan?

 

[Jackie London]

Were you on your way to Matalan?

No, I was on my way to primark to buy you those pink underwear you want for your birthday!

 

[billy scissors]

No, I was on my way to primark to buy you those pink underwear you want for your birthday!

Youre so cheap

 

[Jackie London]

Youre so cheap

I know, and you're so gay!

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Billy, being a gay man, if you were to feel an affinity with a woman who is manley, would you ever consider fooling around with her if the lights were out? Not like a bulldyke, I just mean she's kinda like a boy, but soft and with boobs. Like, could you see past the boobs part?

 

[Jackie London]

Billy, being a gay man, if you were to feel an affinity with a woman who is manley, would you ever consider fooling around with her if the lights were out? Not like a bulldyke, I just mean she's kinda like a boy, but soft and with boobs. Like, could you see past the boobs part?

what would you say is the biggest problem Billy? Is it the boobs? The vagina? Or what would be the biggest problem?

 

[billy scissors]

Billy, being a gay man, if you were to feel an affinity with a woman who is manley, would you ever consider fooling around with her if the lights were out? Not like a bulldyke, I just mean she's kinda like a boy, but soft and with boobs. Like, could you see past the boobs part?

No,I honestly couldnt

 

[CrystalGeezer]

No,I honestly couldnt

I am doomed. THen again I'm taking deep, sexual, life advice from a man who doesn't know how to punctuate a sentence.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

what would you say is the biggest problem Billy? Is it the boobs? The vagina? Or what would be the biggest problem?

I don;t see how the vagina could be a problem, it's a warm, tight hole. I kinda fits the requirements functionally, right? I think it;s probably the musculature, the deep voice, the sense of being with a strong man, the hairiness, whatever. I wouldn;t want to be with a girl, I can see that.

 

[Jackie London]

I am doomed. THen again I'm taking deep, sexual, life advice from a man who doesn't know how to punctuate a sentence.

Hmm, if you would have sex with a gay man and only had oral (you giving him) and anal sex, would he really notice? You would have to keep him away from the boobs ofcourse!

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Hmm, if you would have sex with a gay man and only had oral (you giving him) and anal sex, would he really notice? You would have to keep him away from the boobs ofcourse!

No way. No "Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear" bar here. In my bar the bathrooms are in the back and partytown is up front.

 

[Jackie London]

No way. No "Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear" bar here. In my bar the bathrooms are in the back and partytown is up front.

But I mean in theory! You don't have to reveal if you like it up the bum or not (although you shouldn't say no before you've tried). Wouldn't you even consider it? Not even for Morrissey?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

But I mean in theory! You don't have to reveal if you like it up the bum or not (although you shouldn't say no before you've tried). Wouldn't you even consider it? Not even for Morrissey?

Nope. Not even for Morrissey. And it's not that I'm closed-minded about it, I just made a pact with my Boss that I wouldn't nor would I do it to anyone if I were to magically grow a dick some day. I'm not opposed to slight anal stimulation.

 

[Jackie London]

Nope. Not even for Morrissey. And it's not that I'm closed-minded about it, I just made a pact with my Boss that I wouldn't nor would I do it to anyone if I were to magically grow a dick some day. I'm not opposed to slight anal stimulation.

But why? I mean a hole is a hole, if you allow someone to put it up the other hole, why not up the bum?

 

[CrystalGeezer]

But why? I mean a hole is a hole, if you allow someone to put it up the other hole, why not up the bum?

Well, I'm not opposed to people have sex up the bum, but in my line of work, bum sex creates cosmic problems which creates real problems for real people. I can't go into it more than that.

 

[Jackie London]

Well, I'm not opposed to people have sex up the bum, but in my line of work, bum sex creates cosmic problems which creates real problems for real people. I can't go into it more than that.

That sounds mysterious! Well, many guys love (or at least love the idea) of giving anal sex. But I wonder how many women that actually enjoys getting it. And I wonder how many of the guys that dream about giving it actually would be prepare to get it themselfes! I wonder why so many guys are obsessed with the idea of giving it.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

That sounds mysterious! Well, many guys love (or at least love the idea) of giving anal sex. But I wonder how many women that actually enjoys getting it. And I wonder how many of the guys that dream about giving it actually would be prepare to get it themselfes! I wonder why so many guys are obsessed with the idea of giving it.

You mean giving it to girls? I think it's tighter and it's what they do in the porns, so desirable. I dunno. (Personally, I think gay loving is f***ing gorgeous to watch, I love gay porn, when both men are comfortable and into it.) But you can tell when someone isn't.

The few times I was slipped it I almost vomited. It literally makes me nauseaus for some reason. I think God designed me to have a sensitive poo hole.

I could tell you the reason behind the mystery but it;s too complicated and long and boring. Trust me.

 

[Jackie London]

You mean giving it to girls? I think it's tighter and it's what they do in the porns, so desirable. I dunno. (Personally, I think gay loving is f***ing gorgeous to watch, I love gay porn, when both men are comfortable and into it.) But you can tell when someone isn't.

The few times I was slipped it I almost vomited. It literally makes me nauseaus for some reason. I think God designed me to have a sensitive poo hole.

I could tell you the reason behind the mystery but it;s too complicated and long and boring. Trust me.

I also like gay porn for some strange reason. How can you tell if both men are comfortable doing it or not? But you're right, I also think that the obsession with anal sex comes from porn. I've always thought that if it's too tight that must hurt for the man also.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I also like gay porn for some strange reason. How can you tell if both men are comfortable doing it or not? But you're right, I also think that the obsession with anal sex comes from porn. I've always thought that if it's too tight that must hurt for the man also.

Umm, you can just tell when it's not consensual or they're just doing it for money. The guy getting it looks like he's just trying to get through it, not really feeling the dude he's connecting with or whatever. As for girls taking it anally, I have a friend whose friend in high school works in the porn industry. (She holds a record for having shoved several hundred chopsticks in her puss.) Anyway, she said they are all hopped up on muscle relaxants in order to accomodate some of the larger porn stars. You can tell when you see that gaping hole afterward. So in that case, it;s not like the girl is loving it if she has to dope up to do it, she just wants to get paid cashmoney. So anyway, the thought just occured to me that we should move this conversation to the pigsty.