Humor: fan brings earplugs to Morrissey concert in case he talks - The Hard Times

Fan Brings Earplugs to Morrissey Concert in Case He Talks - The Hard Times

CHICAGO — Morrissey fan Elspeth Carter tucked a pair of earplugs into her jacket last night in prep for his upcoming concert, to protect herself from potentially “harmful sounds” if the aging musician spoke between songs, witnesses confirmed.

“I love Morrissey’s music, but you have to take care of your ears… not from the music, of course. I only put these in if it looks like he’s about to share an opinion,” said Carter, patting her pocket. “I can no longer just ignore the crap he says. I have to try to never even hear it.”
The 28-year-old kept a hawk-like eye on the musician between songs, ready to jam the construction-grade plugs into her ears at any point.

“I have these locked and loaded, just in case he slanders victims of sexual assault again,” said Carter. “But who knows, maybe he’ll take it easy tonight and just say something like, ‘The holocaust was justified because those people ate meat.’ I don’t know. Either way, I’m not risking hearing any of it.”

Dr. Candace Renaldo, an ENT who specializes in hearing loss, often advises young people to bring hearing protection to concerts.

“Loud music can permanently damage your hearing — anything over 85 decibels is dangerous,” said Dr. Renaldo. “Furthermore, listening to Morrissey talk for more than four seconds can permanently affect your ability to enjoy his music. Without protection, one might go to bed with his words ringing in one’s head, and never sleep again.”

 
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So people under 30 can't even hear something they disagree with now?
Isn't that part of how personal opinions get solidified?
It's not a great joke/story anyhow.

Why the hell did I post this... I need a pizza.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
He's still on the bill
If he’s on the bill but pulled from promotion that’s a bad sign if heckletown starts up. They probably won’t stop it. KROQ kids are generally good kids though. What a clusterf***. Like I’m so numb to stuff like this with Trump in the news i don’t even roll my eyes anymore but I’d hate to see him cave at a festival in the same venue where i first saw him in 1991 w Bowie. He better open with How Soon is now to tame the beasts and keep his mouth shut between songs. That’s all i can recommend.
 

SuedeMoz

Well-Known Member
If he’s on the bill but pulled from promotion that’s a bad sign if heckletown starts up. They probably won’t stop it. KROQ kids are generally good kids though. What a clusterf***. Like I’m so numb to stuff like this with Trump in the news i don’t even roll my eyes anymore but I’d hate to see him cave at a festival in the same venue where i first saw him in 1991 w Bowie. He better open with How Soon is now to tame the beasts and keep his mouth shut between songs. That’s all i can recommend.

I think what would get everyone to shut up is him actually doing a special acoustic set. Think of all the songs that would sound amazing acoustically. As far as I know, he has NEVER done something like this live.
 

CrystalGeezer

My secret's my enzyme.
I think what would get everyone to shut up is him actually doing a special acoustic set. Think of all the songs that would sound amazing acoustically. As far as I know, he has NEVER done something like this live.
or maybe open with a f***ing Christmas song.
 

Chip

Member
I don't think a lot of people here get it. HardTimes.net is a SATIRE site. That is not a real article. It's a joke.
People don't really get satire anymore. I don't know if it's a sign of times or this always been the case.

Back when I was in high school, my English teacher used to tell us about the time a parent reported her to the principle for the "promotion of Jeffrey Dahmerism" after teaching "A Modest Proposal" during a unit...on satire. The daughter had to be given special alternative lessons.

So perhaps people have always been a bit dense and the internet just helps bring it to our attention.
 

Peterb

Well-Known Member
I think what would get everyone to shut up is him actually doing a special acoustic set. Think of all the songs that would sound amazing acoustically. As far as I know, he has NEVER done something like this live.
I'd like to see him perform with an orchestra. 'Lost' would sound great. (PS doesn't the end of Home is a Question Mark sound a little like Lost?)
 

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