Exciting new Morrissey products for 2005

[Father Neil Horan]

Watch out for Morrissey's Marmalade in 2005 (code name: Mozmalade)
and other vegetarian and vegan produce.
He's been talking to Paul Newman about his
enterprising entrance to the food market

This will be Morrissey's new drive for retirement
security as the church could not meet his monetary
demands to act as an ambassador.
He will be kept on a retainer though.

What's so special about Mozmalade ? I hear you holler.
Well for one thing Morrissey likes triple extra peel in his Marmalade.
(see photo of beta product in phase 2 of production). All the oranges and lemons grown to make the product are taken from trees in his very own garden.

Secondly you can spread all you real fans can spread your Mozmalade
on your toast (or anything you like) happily reassured in the knowledge that
Morrissey has spat into each and every jar of Mozmalade.

Thirdly, behind the label of some special jars will be a patch of one of his scented shirts from a concert. I am in charge of the Mozmalade division of
this enterprise, but shhh there will also be an underwear division. More to follow :

A picture of Beta Mozmalade in production yesterday :

 

[Gordon Ramsey]

Why not produce "Mozonnaise", which could be Morrissey Mayonnaise into which he has JIZZED??

 

[Father Neil Horan]

Hmmm or even Farmer from Co. Mayonaisse.
No I think spitting is preffered - "spit in your eye", etc.
Thank you for the suggestion though.
All are welcome.

A Morrissey aftershave/shaving balm ?
"Pour Moz"/ "Poor Moz"

C'mon this is his retirement fund.

> Why not produce "Mozonnaise", which could be Morrissey
> Mayonnaise into which he has JIZZED??

 

[Hmm...]

That does not look to appetizing. What exactly is it?

 

[poppy]

> Watch out for Morrissey's Marmalade in 2005 (code name: Mozmalade)
> and other vegetarian and vegan produce.
> He's been talking to Paul Newman about his
> enterprising entrance to the food market

> This will be Morrissey's new drive for retirement
> security as the church could not meet his monetary
> demands to act as an ambassador.
> He will be kept on a retainer though.

Profits for Newman's food products go to charity.

 

[Father Neil Horan]

> Profits for Newman's food products go to charity.

I didn't mean to infer otherwise.
Paul Newman does great work - an admirable character.
I'm sure Morrissey would give some profits to charity.

 

[Father Neil Horan]

"Mozmalade" my friend.
Never judge food by it's looks
I mean if you saw a Mars bar being dipped in batter and deep fried,
I'm sure U2 would be embarressed, but upon tasting it...well, I say.

> That does not look to appetizing. What exactly is it?

 

[Father Neil Horan]

Vegans don't eat eggs

 

[A still drunk Helen Highwater]

The only time any of us will ever get to spread Moz.