In my experience and from reading my friend's secondhand production magazines like Mix, you're going to have a hard time making electronic drums sound real. A drummer is going to play with slight variations in volume and time, in addition to switching patterns intuitively, and to get this in something like FL you're going to have to punch in each attack, or create a pattern though copy-paste of many bars and then go in and alter them.
At the same time you'll have to keep the song in mind as to what happens specifically in each bar, or group of 4, 8, or 16, so you know when to change the pattern or make a different emphasis as you get into pre-chorus, chorus, bridge, etc.
It gets really complicated if you want to do it realistically. You're going to have a learning curve on whatever software you choose. It's worth it because you'll have a tool for songwriting, and you might get interested in making a different kind of music by the time you're done.
All this is to say that you're going to have to settle, and use this as a songwriting tool mostly. Anything you do in performance is going to sound like a drum machine. So it's a question of philosophy. I think that with all the time and effort you will spend learning a new software and creating realistic tracks you might be better off to find a drummer if you want realism. On the other hand, if you are going to use a drum machine/software, why not go for it and become the next Kraftwerk/DEVO/Depeche Mode/New Order ?
