E
Ears With Feet
Guest
David Bowie: "I was wrong to invent homosexuality"
"Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."
(Leviticus 18: 22)
The homosexual movement has been reeling after a recent admission from the godfather of sodomy, David Bowie. The singer and actor said in a press conference that he regretted inventing the gayness and is embarrassed by how widespread the practice is today.
It was in 1972 that Bowie hit upon the idea of homosexuality. He now admits that he was high on lethal mind-bending drugs, such as "pot", at the time. This understandable as only someone who was out of touch with reality would come up with an idea like anal sex.
"It was around the time that I released 'Ziggy Stardust' that I though up the idea. One night Iggy [Pop] had a whole gramme of pure pot and we snorted the lot. The rest of the evening was a blur. All I remember was the next morning when Lou [Reed] said I been talking about the craziest thing the night before".
Bowie, together with Pop and Reed, formulated a sick plan to fill their pockets by promoting homosexuality. Iggy Pop admitted, "we planned to make millions with this brilliant strategy, all credit to David though, he was the man who thought the whole thing up". Bowie's evil, but ingenious, plan was to put subliminal messages on his records that advocated sodomy. Once enough vulnerable males were hooked on this evil way of life, Bowie realised there was potential for exploiting new markets.
Churning out homosexual anthems like "Rebel rebel" and "Walk on the wild side", the devious trio invested their royalties, buying shares in certain companies. They became millionaires as their companies, selling gay porn, amyl nitrate and "gaydars", profited from the newly created homosexual customer.
The trio even worked with evil scientists to create the "gaydar", a detection device that many homosexuals currently have fitted into their brains so they can locate other gay men. I must point out that there is a flaw in the design of these machines as I am constantly being accosted by homosexuals.
However, by the late 1970s Bowie realised he had to draw the line. "I didn't realise that homosexuality would be so popular. I've created a Frankinstein's monster. When I realised what I had done I became guilty, that is why I became a fascist, to put things right. I am so sorry, before 1972 there were no homosexuals, now there are billions of the buggers. I wish I had paid more attention to the Bible as certain books warn about this eventuality in later centuries."
Bowie is guilty of creating one of the abominations of the twentieth century. However, his recent conversion is to be admired. Most of his inventions have been beneficial, for example Glam Rock, MP3s, the mullet haircut and Peter Murphy, but the lifestyle he dreamt up one night when he was out of his mind on the lethal drug "pot" deserves nothing but condemnation.
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Copyright © British Conservative Catholics ® 2001. All rights reserved.
"Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."
(Leviticus 18: 22)
The homosexual movement has been reeling after a recent admission from the godfather of sodomy, David Bowie. The singer and actor said in a press conference that he regretted inventing the gayness and is embarrassed by how widespread the practice is today.
It was in 1972 that Bowie hit upon the idea of homosexuality. He now admits that he was high on lethal mind-bending drugs, such as "pot", at the time. This understandable as only someone who was out of touch with reality would come up with an idea like anal sex.
"It was around the time that I released 'Ziggy Stardust' that I though up the idea. One night Iggy [Pop] had a whole gramme of pure pot and we snorted the lot. The rest of the evening was a blur. All I remember was the next morning when Lou [Reed] said I been talking about the craziest thing the night before".
Bowie, together with Pop and Reed, formulated a sick plan to fill their pockets by promoting homosexuality. Iggy Pop admitted, "we planned to make millions with this brilliant strategy, all credit to David though, he was the man who thought the whole thing up". Bowie's evil, but ingenious, plan was to put subliminal messages on his records that advocated sodomy. Once enough vulnerable males were hooked on this evil way of life, Bowie realised there was potential for exploiting new markets.
Churning out homosexual anthems like "Rebel rebel" and "Walk on the wild side", the devious trio invested their royalties, buying shares in certain companies. They became millionaires as their companies, selling gay porn, amyl nitrate and "gaydars", profited from the newly created homosexual customer.
The trio even worked with evil scientists to create the "gaydar", a detection device that many homosexuals currently have fitted into their brains so they can locate other gay men. I must point out that there is a flaw in the design of these machines as I am constantly being accosted by homosexuals.
However, by the late 1970s Bowie realised he had to draw the line. "I didn't realise that homosexuality would be so popular. I've created a Frankinstein's monster. When I realised what I had done I became guilty, that is why I became a fascist, to put things right. I am so sorry, before 1972 there were no homosexuals, now there are billions of the buggers. I wish I had paid more attention to the Bible as certain books warn about this eventuality in later centuries."
Bowie is guilty of creating one of the abominations of the twentieth century. However, his recent conversion is to be admired. Most of his inventions have been beneficial, for example Glam Rock, MP3s, the mullet haircut and Peter Murphy, but the lifestyle he dreamt up one night when he was out of his mind on the lethal drug "pot" deserves nothing but condemnation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright © British Conservative Catholics ® 2001. All rights reserved.
