Children's sexuality

What do you think about children masturbating themselves?


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chica

v2.0
(Poll added - multiple choice, public votes!)


As all parents probably know, in their early childhood children discover that touching their genitals gives them pleasurable sensations. Sometimes they rub on the edge of their bed or other furniture. My question is, how should a parent react? And how did you react, if you're a parent? Below is a post from another forum that really made me angry. I emphasized some particularly outrageous parts.


"My daughter did it at the age of three. Of course, I was desperate. Everyone told me it was normal, it was just a phase, but when it's your child of course you don't think it's normal and look at it with a smile.

I tried to tell her that princesses don't do that, that it's shameful, but it didn't work. Then I consulted a psychologist, who told me to explain to her that girls don't do that. I didn't know how to make her stop without making it a stressful experience for her, so I started telling her that if she kept doing it I'd have to give away her dresses and skirts because she wouldn't be wearing them again because was acting like a boy. After a couple of days, it worked. I haven't noticed her doing it for 3 or 4 months, and neither has her teacher.

Honestly, I don't know how a 3 year old kid can find it "stressful" if you forbid her to do it. I really think we're taking children's rights too far and we condone all kinds of behaviour, with excuse that it's just a phase. I think it's better to forbid it than let her develop that habit, like I've seen children who made me and others uncomfortable in public."
 
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actually i have no real comment as i do not have children nor wish any so i have really never thought about such things.sorry.
 
I guess if I was a parent I'd be concerned that my 3 year old was discovering sexuality. I really don't know what I'd do, but it seems a bit extreme to be telling kids it's "sinful."

Complicated issue, but I've never actually heard of this happening to any parents I know.


Coiff.
 
Be sure it has happened to every parent you know. Maybe they feel it's "dirty laundry" so they keep it to themselves.
 
Be sure it has happened to every parent you know. Maybe they feel it's "dirty laundry" so they keep it to themselves.

Maybe. To be honest I don't really quiz them on their kids' sexual habits.:p

If that's true and this is widespread, it's another item on my "Why I Don't Want Kids" list. It's getting quite long now.


Coiff.
 
Some people think it should be encouraged:

An Oslo pre-school teacher, backed by child psychologists, has suggested that kindergarten children be encouraged to “express” their sexuality through “sex-play” and games, including dancing naked and masturbating, in pre-school and day-care centres.

The English language edition of Norway’s Aftenposten newspaper reports that Pia Friis, the respected operator of an Oslo kindergarten, told an interviewer that children should be able “to look at each other and examine each other's bodies. They can play doctor, play mother and father, dance naked and masturbate”.

“But their sexuality must also be socialized, so they are not, for example, allowed to masturbate while sitting and eating. Nor can they be allowed to pressure other children into doing things they don't want to,” Friis said.

Friis also faulted some staff of day-care centres and kindergartens who, she said, might react negatively to children expressing their sexuality. “When the personnel are uncertain, that passes on to the children, and it can be negative.”

Friis’ opinion was backed up by Norwegian child psychologist Thore Langfeldt, who said, “Children must learn about sexuality, otherwise things can go very wrong.”

“Children can't object to something they don't know about, and children can more easily and readily report assaults if they already are aware of their own sexuality.”


http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2007/oct/07101704.html
 
Once again, your poll choices suck.

All children masturbate. Some develop a special affinity for it, some do it a few times and then mostly leave it alone. My line is, "I can see that you're touching your private parts. Sometimes that feels good to do, but it's something we do in private. If you want to keep doing that, you can go to your room, or the bathroom, but if you stay down here with us, you have to stop for now. OK?" I obviously don't introduce the idea that it's also very nice to do that with other people, not at the ages we're talking about. But I'm very careful not to condemn it.

I'm very matter of fact about all these things, it's worked well so far.

The mom in the comment you posted scares me.
 
Personally I think if yer kid is jerkin' the gherkin at a young age and you catch them just treat it like nose picking.
"Oh, for the love of the Bowie, if you're gonna do that, do it where I can't see it!"

That's how I would fix that. Of course this is probably another reason why it's good that I'll never have kids.
 
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Once again, your poll choices suck.

Once again, you're being irrational. They cover everything you wrote here (They must be taught not to do it in public and They must be assured that masturbating is okay.) What are you objecting to?

All children masturbate. Some develop a special affinity for it, some do it a few times and then mostly leave it alone. My line is, "I can see that you're touching your private parts. Sometimes that feels good to do, but it's something we do in private. If you want to keep doing that, you can go to your room, or the bathroom, but if you stay down here with us, you have to stop for now. OK?" I obviously don't introduce the idea that it's also very nice to do that with other people, not at the ages we're talking about. But I'm very careful not to condemn it.

I'm very matter of fact about all these things, it's worked well so far.

The mom in the comment you posted scares me.

The psychologist scares me more! :eek: Alright, I understand that no one (or at least very few people) went to parenting school, but psychologists should know better.
 
All children masturbate. Some develop a special affinity for it, some do it a few times and then mostly leave it alone. My line is, "I can see that you're touching your private parts. Sometimes that feels good to do, but it's something we do in private. If you want to keep doing that, you can go to your room, or the bathroom, but if you stay down here with us, you have to stop for now. OK?" I obviously don't introduce the idea that it's also very nice to do that with other people, not at the ages we're talking about. But I'm very careful not to condemn it.

I'm very matter of fact about all these things, it's worked well so far.

The mom in the comment you posted scares me.

Agreed. Kids whose parents say that end up having a shitty sex life when they grow up. When I was a kid my mom thought I was sick or that I was perverted or something and she would shout at me and so forth because of that. Until it finally occured to her to go to a psychologist until he said it was normal and that my body was telling me to do it and I didn't even knew what it meant.
If I do have kids I would say exactly the same thing as Preggs so when they grew up they wouldn't be afraid of their sexuality.
 
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