Child free group

[stephk817]

I always thought I would have a bunch of kids growing up but life just didn't happen that way. I do think what people decide is their own business and busy bodies should find somewhere else to stick their nose.

 

[Buzzetta]

I now present to all of you the Kewpie analysis post

What am I supposed to ashamed of?

Let us begin with shamelessly disclosing activities and personal information that by user agreement should not be revealed. The user agreement is a contract of sorts. If I do and follow "a" I am allowed to use "b" as they were intended. You seem to let everyone know who is looking through the board privately, who has multiple names and anything else that suits you. The last time I brought this up you failed to address it. While I know you are FULLY capable of searching through the forums, why don't we present it for everyone to see... you know... the way you like to do it.
http://forums.morrissey-solo.com/showpost.php?p=661447&postcount=58

Carry on picking on me,

You have yet to see me pick on you... When I do, you will know it.

silly sausage[/B].

Is that an italian reference? Should I be offended? I don't know at this point. I will consider it. Who would I report it to though?

I only replied to the thread starter's comment which you just ignored.

I did not ignore it. I had already read it and did not take issue with what they posted only with what you posted. Hence, I quoted and commented on what you wrote. Go ahead... its okay... put your hand to your forehead and say "Ohhhhhh"

You'd better put me on ignore because you're wasting your time.

Now why would I do that? You have been a source of comic relief since the day I arrived. I am sure that you have something witty to reply to this as well. If not there are two things that you can do....

1. Nothing
2. and like it.

 

[Kewpie]

Carry on your sad baiting game.

This is the last time I reply your post.

No need for digging out old argument which you had nothing to do with.
This particular user might be very grateful to your patronizing comment.



If you have any problem just report to the other mods and David.

 

[chica]

Let us begin with shamelessly disclosing activities and personal information that by user agreement should not be revealed. The user agreement is a contract of sorts. If I do and follow "a" I am allowed to use "b" as they were intended. You seem to let everyone know who is looking through the board privately, who has multiple names and anything else that suits you. The last time I brought this up you failed to address it. While I know you are FULLY capable of searching through the forums, why don't we present it for everyone to see... you know... the way you like to do it.

I promise, Kewpie, if it ever comes to exposing me, I hereby give you the right to do so

 

[Buzzetta]

Carry on your sad baiting game.

This is the last time I reply your post.

If you have any problem just report to the other mods and David.

Baiting game? You never responded to a serious concern that I raised last September. I find it troubling that you fail to do so. No baiting. I asked for you to explain your actions in accordance to a user policy that you enforce. Since you are unable to do so I take it that you have no defense for those actions. I still contend that you violated the user agreement.

How interesting that you failed to address it then as well as now.

 

[Kewpie]

I promise, Kewpie, if it ever comes to exposing me, I hereby give you the right to do so

chica, you never upset anyone in here.
Some people enjoy being paranoid which gives them excitment I suppose.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Pity some people in the States are also extreamly conservative and can't help poking their noses to others' business.

I'll have to raise a hand in objection to this, too. However it was intended, it comes across as a pointed dig at the Americans here. You should be very careful with typed posts, without tone of voice and facial expresssion to rely on, it's easy to say something you didn't mean. Maybe a bit more proofreading would be prudent?

Carry on picking on me, silly sausage.

This is offensive. There is no way you can play this off. I don't care if it's a direct translation of a Japanese idiom or something, your English is good enough to know that this was out of line at least two different ways.

Carry on your sad baiting game.

Kewpie, nobody's baiting you. Can you honestly say you're not baiting any of us? You're getting increasingly nasty and I don't know why.


Anyway, back to topic, when we met our next door neighbors for the first time, they introduced themselves so: "Hi, I'm Sam and this is my wife, Joan. We've decided not to have children." I blinked twice. Then I felt really sad for them. Clearly they've deflected so much crap over their decision that they just try to head it off before it starts. I really don't care whether anyone else has children or not. I will never give someone a hard time about it, never knowing exactly what their reasoning has been. But I fully expect that no one will give me a hard time for choosing to become a parent.

And I don't really like kids, either. I'm not raising kids, I'm raising future adults. And I think they're going to be really cool, intelligent, wonderful people.

 

[5am]

I wonder if the meetups are any good, but I'd like it if they have forums like we do here, just so I could occasionally go to people who understand and complain about the unfair expectations society puts upon us to have children fast and furiously.
.

Maybe we can have it here. I'm surprised to see so many women (people?) here say they are not planning on having children. I've only known a few people in my life that feel the same way as me about it.

 

[M-in-Oz]

It has to be a free choice doesn't it?

I had children fairly young I guess & I never expected how much I would love them...its overwhelming. Also, having children helped to focus me towards what I really wanted out of life.

 

[Kewpie]

I'll have to raise a hand in objection to this, too. However it was intended, it comes across as a pointed dig at the Americans here. You should be very careful with typed posts, without tone of voice and facial expresssion to rely on, it's easy to say something you didn't mean. Maybe a bit more proofreading would be prudent?



This is offensive. There is no way you can play this off. I don't care if it's a direct translation of a Japanese idiom or something, your English is good enough to know that this was out of line at least two different ways.



Kewpie, nobody's baiting you. Can you honestly say you're not baiting any of us? You're getting increasingly nasty and I don't know why.


Anyway, back to topic, when we met our next door neighbors for the first time, they introduced themselves so: "Hi, I'm Sam and this is my wife, Joan. We've decided not to have children." I blinked twice. Then I felt really sad for them. Clearly they've deflected so much crap over their decision that they just try to head it off before it starts. I really don't care whether anyone else has children or not. I will never give someone a hard time about it, never knowing exactly what their reasoning has been. But I fully expect that no one will give me a hard time for choosing to become a parent.

And I don't really like kids, either. I'm not raising kids, I'm raising future adults. And I think they're going to be really cool, intelligent, wonderful people.

I never criticized ALL people in the States.
Thread starter complained about some fellow Americans' patronizing comment about a married woman who didn't have a child.
It's so shocking that some of you misunderstand what I said.

 

[vicarinatutugal]

I never criticized ALL people in the States.
Thread starter complained about some fellow Americans' patronizing comment about a married woman who didn't have a child.
It's so shocking that some of you misunderstand what I said.

I said that earlier Kewpie, people will pick out what they want. I think its silly if people think you were slagging all americans and as for pointing out that it was a dig to american users here that is just stupid in my mind. Of course I am sure since silly sausage has been taken as a terrible insult then this will be taken as an insult as well.

 

[Renia]

As the daughter of a man who usually dates women who don't have kids - it can be kinda tough to date someone WITH kids.

Like for instance, my ex-step mom and I never got along because she had never had kids, and she didn't know really how to take care of one. So it can be kinda tough, and I can totally understand where people are coming from. Now that I'm older it doesn't matter a whole lot, as I typically spend time on my own rather then with my dad and his girlfriends, lol.

but especially with younger kids, it can be difficult. I used to be very attatched to my mother despite her not being a very good one, and that continually frustrated my step-mom who didn't get why.

But couples who choose not have kids - it's their choice. We all know kids can be a handful, and I'd rather have someone NOT have kids, then have them and not know how to control them. My mom for instance, has two other children other then me, and as much as I love my brothers, she doesn't really...know how to control them or discipline them. So sometimes, having no kids is the best thing if you're not postive you can take care of them and raise them as best you can.

 

[bogdana]

My ex boyfriend wanted us to join No Kidding as neither one of us wanted to have kids. He had a friend who belonged to it. Although I still don't feel motherhood would ever suit me, the thought of joining a club about it made me a bit uncomfortable. But I understand why people who don't have kids would feel the need for unity.

i think its more of a group so that you can easily find friends to hang out with at any time because they dont have kids. most of my friends have children so they are almost NEVER available to spend some QT outside the house, which is fine that's their decision when they had kids, but then J and I are doing everything by ourselves. So it would be cool to meet other people who aren't 'tied down' so to speak with minors.

I hate it when people who are parents, suddenly think that because they have a child they know everything about the world and start to talk down to you.

Anyone can have a child, its not an indication of intellect

i work with someone like that, and I pity her child enormously.

Being childless may well mean you have a more carefree,responsibilty free life.You'll have less stress and more money.But you'll probably also be lonelier later on in life when there are no grandchildren.My partner is one of five and it is the three boys that have children.The two women were always career led and never had children.One even had three abortions.They both have admitted how bitterly they regret not having children.Their careers have become empty means of earning cash.They have nice holidays but all their contemparies have children and they realise all the money is pointless.They have big houses with lots of rooms but no children to fill the home with laughter.

Having children is tough and in many ways the hardest job you'll ever have but it is without doubt the greatest achievement anyone can have.

I think the above bolded is a common misconception and myth. Some people probably do get lonely and feel regret, but many others don't. In fact, I know a few women that were so content with their nieces and nephews they didn't feel the need to fill any voids. I haven't decided whether or not I'm having kids, but I'd like to point out that not everyone is career driven for the money. Personally I enjoy helping people and changing lives. If I can help make sick or dying people well, depressed people happy, I am a useful and needed member of society even if I don't have children. My life will be full of love for others. I know many teachers that feel the same way. They touch far more young lives than had they just had their own and settled for no job or a half-assed one. I hope you don't think I'm picking on you I respect your post and your opinion and I am sure many others think like you but don't speak on it.

I never had children and got so sick of people asking me why I started saying I couldn't have them. I know it's awful but then you don't have to explain and justify why to everyone. They think there is something wrong with you if you just say you didn't want them.

that is a shame. and i've done that before too.

Well I'm nearly 47 so they don't tend to say it now. Although some people say there is still time. I don't think so! I can barely look after myself some days, never mind a tiny little baby. My mum says there will be no-one to look after me when I get old! I daren't tell her I'm not gonna do that for her. Only kidding. Or am I?

I can tell you I wont be taking care of my mother. there's no guarantee your spawn will do anything for you.

Maybe we can have it here. I'm surprised to see so many women (people?) here say they are not planning on having children. I've only known a few people in my life that feel the same way as me about it.

im surprised too! we should have a little thread about it. this one i guess hahaha!

It has to be a free choice doesn't it?

I had children fairly young I guess & I never expected how much I would love them...its overwhelming. Also, having children helped to focus me towards what I really wanted out of life.

Interesting angle. I know a mother who would have been worse off had she not had a child early and accidentally in life. It changed her for the better! but I know another that the baby changed her for the worse- she's a little psycho and has cut off all her friends. I miss the "old" her before she became a shut in.

 

[M-in-Oz]

Interesting angle. I know a mother who would have been worse off had she not had a child early and accidentally in life. It changed her for the better! but I know another that the baby changed her for the worse- she's a little psycho and has cut off all her friends. I miss the "old" her before she became a shut in.[/QUOTE]

Yes...mine were 'early & accidental'...but I really do feel that they have given me so much (a reason to 'stay' here), which I think actually is quite a lot to put on their young shoulders. But hey, I'm focused & really work hard to make a good life for them.

 

[bogdana]

Yes...mine were 'early & accidental'...but I really do feel that they have given me so much (a reason to 'stay' here), which I think actually is quite a lot to put on their young shoulders. But hey, I'm focused & really work hard to make a good life for them.

good for you for turning it into a positive instead of a negative. You're already a more mature parent than some others who choose exactly when they have theirs. You're surely a good example for them and that is priceless.

 

[M-in-Oz]

good for you for turning it into a positive instead of a negative. You're already a more mature parent than some others who choose exactly when they have theirs. You're surely a good example for them and that is priceless.

Thank you! I try to be a good example...

 

[Anaesthesine]

Being childless may well mean you have a more carefree,responsibilty free life.You'll have less stress and more money.But you'll probably also be lonelier later on in life when there are no grandchildren.My partner is one of five and it is the three boys that have children.The two women were always career led and never had children.One even had three abortions.They both have admitted how bitterly they regret not having children.Their careers have become empty means of earning cash.They have nice holidays but all their contemparies have children and they realise all the money is pointless.They have big houses with lots of rooms but no children to fill the home with laughter.

Having children is tough and in many ways the hardest job you'll ever have but it is without doubt the greatest achievement anyone can have.

Gee Hellie, I generally like what you have to say, but you're waaaay off-base here, and your opinions are what drive child free people to be so defensive.

My husband and I have been together for 22 plus years (we got together when we were very young), and we have never, ever wanted children, and we're glad we never had any. We are very happily married and fulfilled as people.

We are not empty careerists - I run my own business, which does not make much money, but does make me very happy. I get to pass on my values and knowledge and aesthetics to the next generation, and the one after that. I love it when the kids "get it," and appreciate what I do, and I'm still glad that those kids are not my own.

I love a quiet house. I love the ability to travel, and write, and be autonomous, and not have blood ties to the future. I love my freedom. I know that I am missing out on something profound, but there is a great profundity in how I choose to live, and I would not change it for the world.

Just because you find fulfillment in children (good for you, by the way), does not mean that everyone else does. Those folks you know who regret their decision may have made the wrong decision for themselves, but I have older friends who are very happy without kids - granted we're all a bit eccentric, but we are self-defined, travel a lot, very creative, and we lead lives that are fulfilling, just in different ways.

Having children is not the greatest human achievement - that is an outdated bromide, in my opinion. Living well, giving of oneself spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and aesthetically, these are the things that make a difference. This is the true worth of a person.

The biological imperative is fine for some, maybe even most, but definitely not for all.

 

[bogdana]

im all about self-actualization right now. anaesthesine, your post helps shape the image of childless couples that I wish people would be able to see. I'm glad Hellie said what she did because there's a lot of people out there who think the same thing, and are afraid of the same thing; if I dont have kids, I'll be lonely, or if I don't have kids, I'll regret it. Its nice to hear "we didn't have kids, and my life is still full".
I said earlier something you also said, that if I choose to focus on my career, its not about the money at all. I've always wanted to make a difference, and that's what I've set out to do with my life. If I don't have kids along the way... that is okay.

 

[EPbabe]

Gee Hellie, I generally like what you have to say, but you're waaaay off-base here, and your opinions are what drive child free people to be so defensive.

My husband and I have been together for 22 plus years (we got together when we were very young), and we have never, ever wanted children, and we're glad we never had any. We are very happily married and fulfilled as people.

We are not empty careerists - I run my own business, which does not make much money, but does make me very happy. I get to pass on my values and knowledge and aesthetics to the next generation, and the one after that. I love it when the kids "get it," and appreciate what I do, and I'm still glad that those kids are not my own.

I love a quiet house. I love the ability to travel, and write, and be autonomous, and not have blood ties to the future. I love my freedom. I know that I am missing out on something profound, but there is a great profundity in how I choose to live, and I would not change it for the world.

Just because you find fulfillment in children (good for you, by the way), does not mean that everyone else does. Those folks you know who regret their decision may have made the wrong decision for themselves, but I have older friends who are very happy without kids - granted we're all a bit eccentric, but we are self-defined, travel a lot, very creative, and we lead lives that are fulfilling, just in different ways.

Having children is not the greatest human achievement - that is an outdated bromide, in my opinion. Living well, giving of oneself spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and aesthetically, these are the things that make a difference. This is the true worth of a person.

The biological imperative is fine for some, maybe even most, but definitely not for all.

Altough I'd like to have children, I can understand why people wouldn't want to have any. I very much enjoyed reading your post and seeing that it is possible to lead a happy wholesome life without kids.

 

[cornelius blaze]

sexist pig rant!!!!!!!!!

Read through this thread, I found it shocking, what is the world coming to? Married women without children. That is what you are built for and that’s why you marry men, to have babies. To cook and clean and look after the home for your man and have some children to keep you busy during the day until you have to cook the dinner for your husband for when he comes home. No wonder the world is in the mess it is now, women don’t understand the value of being at home and being mothers.

I found this picture, look how happy she is looking after the home and stuff! She so much better with a baby under her arm!

(tongue in cheek post of the week)