Let us begin with shamelessly disclosing activities and personal information that by user agreement should not be revealed. The user agreement is a contract of sorts. If I do and follow "a" I am allowed to use "b" as they were intended. You seem to let everyone know who is looking through the board privately, who has multiple names and anything else that suits you. The last time I brought this up you failed to address it. While I know you are FULLY capable of searching through the forums, why don't we present it for everyone to see... you know... the way you like to do it.What am I supposed to ashamed of?
You have yet to see me pick on you... When I do, you will know it.Carry on picking on me,
Is that an italian reference? Should I be offended? I don't know at this point. I will consider it. Who would I report it to though?silly sausage[/B].
I did not ignore it. I had already read it and did not take issue with what they posted only with what you posted. Hence, I quoted and commented on what you wrote. Go ahead... its okay... put your hand to your forehead and say "Ohhhhhh"I only replied to the thread starter's comment which you just ignored.
Now why would I do that? You have been a source of comic relief since the day I arrived. I am sure that you have something witty to reply to this as well. If not there are two things that you can do....You'd better put me on ignore because you're wasting your time.
Let us begin with shamelessly disclosing activities and personal information that by user agreement should not be revealed. The user agreement is a contract of sorts. If I do and follow "a" I am allowed to use "b" as they were intended. You seem to let everyone know who is looking through the board privately, who has multiple names and anything else that suits you. The last time I brought this up you failed to address it. While I know you are FULLY capable of searching through the forums, why don't we present it for everyone to see... you know... the way you like to do it.
Carry on your sad baiting game.
This is the last time I reply your post.
If you have any problem just report to the other mods and David.
I promise, Kewpie, if it ever comes to exposing me, I hereby give you the right to do so
Pity some people in the States are also extreamly conservative and can't help poking their noses to others' business.
Carry on picking on me, silly sausage.
Carry on your sad baiting game.
I wonder if the meetups are any good, but I'd like it if they have forums like we do here, just so I could occasionally go to people who understand and complain about the unfair expectations society puts upon us to have children fast and furiously.
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I'll have to raise a hand in objection to this, too. However it was intended, it comes across as a pointed dig at the Americans here. You should be very careful with typed posts, without tone of voice and facial expresssion to rely on, it's easy to say something you didn't mean. Maybe a bit more proofreading would be prudent?
This is offensive. There is no way you can play this off. I don't care if it's a direct translation of a Japanese idiom or something, your English is good enough to know that this was out of line at least two different ways.
Kewpie, nobody's baiting you. Can you honestly say you're not baiting any of us? You're getting increasingly nasty and I don't know why.
Anyway, back to topic, when we met our next door neighbors for the first time, they introduced themselves so: "Hi, I'm Sam and this is my wife, Joan. We've decided not to have children." I blinked twice. Then I felt really sad for them. Clearly they've deflected so much crap over their decision that they just try to head it off before it starts. I really don't care whether anyone else has children or not. I will never give someone a hard time about it, never knowing exactly what their reasoning has been. But I fully expect that no one will give me a hard time for choosing to become a parent.
And I don't really like kids, either. I'm not raising kids, I'm raising future adults. And I think they're going to be really cool, intelligent, wonderful people.
I never criticized ALL people in the States.
Thread starter complained about some fellow Americans' patronizing comment about a married woman who didn't have a child.
It's so shocking that some of you misunderstand what I said.
i think its more of a group so that you can easily find friends to hang out with at any time because they dont have kids. most of my friends have children so they are almost NEVER available to spend some QT outside the house, which is fine that's their decision when they had kids, but then J and I are doing everything by ourselves. So it would be cool to meet other people who aren't 'tied down' so to speak with minors.My ex boyfriend wanted us to join No Kidding as neither one of us wanted to have kids. He had a friend who belonged to it. Although I still don't feel motherhood would ever suit me, the thought of joining a club about it made me a bit uncomfortable. But I understand why people who don't have kids would feel the need for unity.
i work with someone like that, and I pity her child enormously.I hate it when people who are parents, suddenly think that because they have a child they know everything about the world and start to talk down to you.
Anyone can have a child, its not an indication of intellect
I think the above bolded is a common misconception and myth. Some people probably do get lonely and feel regret, but many others don't. In fact, I know a few women that were so content with their nieces and nephews they didn't feel the need to fill any voids. I haven't decided whether or not I'm having kids, but I'd like to point out that not everyone is career driven for the money. Personally I enjoy helping people and changing lives. If I can help make sick or dying people well, depressed people happy, I am a useful and needed member of society even if I don't have children. My life will be full of love for others. I know many teachers that feel the same way. They touch far more young lives than had they just had their own and settled for no job or a half-assed one. I hope you don't think I'm picking on you I respect your post and your opinion and I am sure many others think like you but don't speak on it.Being childless may well mean you have a more carefree,responsibilty free life.You'll have less stress and more money.But you'll probably also be lonelier later on in life when there are no grandchildren.My partner is one of five and it is the three boys that have children.The two women were always career led and never had children.One even had three abortions.They both have admitted how bitterly they regret not having children.Their careers have become empty means of earning cash.They have nice holidays but all their contemparies have children and they realise all the money is pointless.They have big houses with lots of rooms but no children to fill the home with laughter.
Having children is tough and in many ways the hardest job you'll ever have but it is without doubt the greatest achievement anyone can have.
that is a shame. and i've done that before too.I never had children and got so sick of people asking me why I started saying I couldn't have them. I know it's awful but then you don't have to explain and justify why to everyone. They think there is something wrong with you if you just say you didn't want them.
I can tell you I wont be taking care of my mother. there's no guarantee your spawn will do anything for you.Well I'm nearly 47 so they don't tend to say it now. Although some people say there is still time. I don't think so! I can barely look after myself some days, never mind a tiny little baby. My mum says there will be no-one to look after me when I get old! I daren't tell her I'm not gonna do that for her. Only kidding. Or am I?
im surprised too! we should have a little thread about it. this one i guess hahaha!Maybe we can have it here. I'm surprised to see so many women (people?) here say they are not planning on having children. I've only known a few people in my life that feel the same way as me about it.
It has to be a free choice doesn't it?
I had children fairly young I guess & I never expected how much I would love them...its overwhelming. Also, having children helped to focus me towards what I really wanted out of life.
Yes...mine were 'early & accidental'...but I really do feel that they have given me so much (a reason to 'stay' here), which I think actually is quite a lot to put on their young shoulders. But hey, I'm focused & really work hard to make a good life for them.
good for you for turning it into a positive instead of a negative. You're already a more mature parent than some others who choose exactly when they have theirs. You're surely a good example for them and that is priceless.
Being childless may well mean you have a more carefree,responsibilty free life.You'll have less stress and more money.But you'll probably also be lonelier later on in life when there are no grandchildren.My partner is one of five and it is the three boys that have children.The two women were always career led and never had children.One even had three abortions.They both have admitted how bitterly they regret not having children.Their careers have become empty means of earning cash.They have nice holidays but all their contemparies have children and they realise all the money is pointless.They have big houses with lots of rooms but no children to fill the home with laughter.
Having children is tough and in many ways the hardest job you'll ever have but it is without doubt the greatest achievement anyone can have.
Gee Hellie, I generally like what you have to say, but you're waaaay off-base here, and your opinions are what drive child free people to be so defensive.
My husband and I have been together for 22 plus years (we got together when we were very young), and we have never, ever wanted children, and we're glad we never had any. We are very happily married and fulfilled as people.
We are not empty careerists - I run my own business, which does not make much money, but does make me very happy. I get to pass on my values and knowledge and aesthetics to the next generation, and the one after that. I love it when the kids "get it," and appreciate what I do, and I'm still glad that those kids are not my own.
I love a quiet house. I love the ability to travel, and write, and be autonomous, and not have blood ties to the future. I love my freedom. I know that I am missing out on something profound, but there is a great profundity in how I choose to live, and I would not change it for the world.
Just because you find fulfillment in children (good for you, by the way), does not mean that everyone else does. Those folks you know who regret their decision may have made the wrong decision for themselves, but I have older friends who are very happy without kids - granted we're all a bit eccentric, but we are self-defined, travel a lot, very creative, and we lead lives that are fulfilling, just in different ways.
Having children is not the greatest human achievement - that is an outdated bromide, in my opinion. Living well, giving of oneself spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and aesthetically, these are the things that make a difference. This is the true worth of a person.
The biological imperative is fine for some, maybe even most, but definitely not for all.