Child free group

How do you feel about others who are child free (be honest- private poll)

  • I think its a choice that people are free to make. Why judge them for it?

    Votes: 78 85.7%
  • I think people who don't have children are selfish.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I wish I had been childfree! Too late!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I feel bad for childfree people. They are missing out on the best things in life.

    Votes: 2 2.2%
  • Other: please describe

    Votes: 11 12.1%

  • Total voters
    91
gosh i was shocked at the poll choices... they all seem to be so PRO CHILD... like being child free is a curse or a disease!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! the question is - should the child free people forgive the ones with children? I don't see how you could even see "Selfish" as an option for the non breeding, freedom loving, perhaps even more responsible people who choose not to bring children into this world... have you had a look around? :confused::confused::confused:

oh and... i like how people think that kids are supposed to be a ticket to fulfillment... haahah... if you are not fulfilled as is sounds to me like you have nothing to give to that child...

the person who started the poll - seems to me - jealous of child free people, judgmental, and probably somewhat miserable with major regrets and hence created a very strange view of things in order to justify their actions, position, and structure.

Furthermore... any idiot can make a baby... and it is sad that some do so before they have found any fulfillment on their own. to think that you could judge a person just because they don't want to make a baby... is actually hilarious in a sad kind of way. :confused:

the two most sensible posts of thw whole thread.
apart fromt he oen about someones friend hasving all her babay making bits taken awaya t 22, it aint gonna happen, believe me ive been BEGGING the docs to do this to me since i was 20, and they still won't... :mad:
 
:) I teach young children. i actually really, really love children, I just dunno if I want any of my own. I'd have to be very, very, very sure that both hubby and I really wanted a child before I even considered it. I see waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many unwanted children at school, I'm afraid.

this is another point that pisses me off immensly, why havea child and then make it feel sorry for being alive... that is just F***ing nasty and unfair, i'll bet anything that most people if not all who CHOOSE not to have them would make much better parents than the majority that do.
(pretty obvious really, as we are intelligent enough to make the decison in the first place, (and before i get flamed im not saying its 'unintelligent' to have them.. you know what i mean, i hope :)))
 
oh and... i like how people think that kids are supposed to be a ticket to fulfillment... haahah... if you are not fulfilled as is sounds to me like you have nothing to give to that child...

the person who started the poll - seems to me - jealous of child free people, judgmental, and probably somewhat miserable with major regrets and hence created a very strange view of things in order to justify their actions, position, and structure.

Furthermore... any idiot can make a baby... and it is sad that some do so before they have found any fulfillment on their own. to think that you could judge a person just because they don't want to make a baby... is actually hilarious in a sad kind of way. :confused:

So true, everything you said. This part in particular seems true to me, in view of my friends who have had kids. My only friends who are really happy as parents are those who took their time to decide, and who had very full lives before they jumped into the biggest decision they could possibly ever make.

Your life changes forever, and YOU change forever as well. If you're not happy and not doing things that give you a reason to get up in the morning before you become a parent, I think you end up totally losing yourself when suddenly the reason you get up in the morning is to take care of a baby. Then if the worst happens, you end up living for your children and not yourself, and 100% of your happiness is dependent on them. That's not fair to you or your children.
 
I don't think it is so easy to say "I am fulfilled now" so I will have a baby now or "I'm happy now" so I'll have a baby becasue I am happy. Thats just too black/white a statement. Finding fulfillment/happiness through your own children should not be viewed as meaning that you were lacking in something before you had children.

My life is much richer now because I had children...but I still experience all the same emotions - unhappiness, unfulfillment. I don't think anyone can ever be in the 'perfect' place. Life always brings something unexpected.
 
I'd be very surprised if she could find a doctor who would do this. It's unethical, no matter how badly she thinks she wants it done. People do change their minds, sometimes, for various reasons. You really never know how your life will change. It would be very unwise to take such a drastic step at such a young age.

I'm sure there are lots of people who were sure they never wanted kids until they met someone they really wanted to become a parent with, or just changed their minds, just as I'm sure that every parent has times when they wish they hadn't had children. No matter what you choose, you are probably going to have times when you second-guess yourself.

I assumed it would just be a hysterectomy, or an operation similar to that? It's not something I thinks a great idea, just in case she changes her mind. Personally I'd like to keep the choice, but I'm just too indecisive...
 
the person who started the poll - seems to me - jealous of child free people, judgmental, and probably somewhat miserable with major regrets and hence created a very strange view of things in order to justify their actions, position, and structure.

But she does not have children, I take it you mean Bogdana?
 
We humans face two problems of desperate importance. The first is our global ecological plight. The second is our difficulty acknowledging the first.

Despite increasing climate change coverage, environmental writers remain reluctant to discuss the full scope and severity of the global dilemma we've created. Many fear sounding alarmist, but there is an alarm to sound and the time for reticence is over.

We've outgrown the planet and need radical action to avert unspeakable consequences. This - by a huge margin - has become humanity's greatest challenge.

If we've altered the climate, it should come as no surprise that we have damaged other natural systems. From deforestation to collapsing fisheries, desertification, the global spread of chemical toxins, ocean dead zones, and the death of coral reefs, an array of interrelated declines is evidence of the breadth of our impact.

Add the depletion of finite resources such as oil and ground-water, and the whole of the challenge upon us emerges.

Barring decisive action, we are marching, heads down, toward global ecological collapse.

Web of life

We're dismantling the web of life, the support system upon which all species depend. We could have very well entered the "sixth mass extinction"; the fifth having wiped out the dinosaurs.

Human activity is threatening the web of life, warns Mr Feeney
Though we like to imagine we are different from other species, we humans are not exempt from the threats posed by ecological degradation.

Analysts worry, for example, about the future of food production. Climate change-induced drought and the depletion of oil and aquifers - resources on which farming and food distribution depend - could trigger famine on an unprecedented scale.

Billions could die. At the very least, we risk our children inheriting a bleak world, empty of the richness of life we take for granted.

Alarmist? Yes, but realistically so.

The most worrisome aspect of this ecological decline is the convergence in time of so many serious problems. Issues such as oil and aquifer depletion and climate change are set to reach crisis points within decades.

Biodiversity loss is equally problematic. As a result of their ecological interdependence, the extinction of species can trigger cascade effects whereby impacts suddenly and unpredictably spread. We're out of our league, influencing systems we don't understand.

One thing is certain: continued inaction or half-hearted efforts will be of no help - we're at a turning point in human history

Any of these problems could disrupt society. The possibility of them occurring together is enough to worry even the most optimistic among rational observers.

Some credible analyses conclude we've postponed action too long to avoid massive upheaval and the best we can do now is to soften the blow. Others hold out hope of averting catastrophe, though not without tough times ahead.

One thing is certain: continued inaction or half-hearted efforts will be of no help - we're at a turning point in human history.

Though few seem willing to confront the facts, it's no secret how we got here. We simply went too far. The growth which once measured our species' success inevitably turned deadly.

Unceasing economic growth, increasing per capita resource consumption, and global population growth have teamed with our reliance on finite reserves of fossil energy to exceed the Earth's absorptive and regenerative capacities.

Getting a grip

We are now in "overshoot"; our numbers and levels of consumption having exceeded the Earth's capacity to sustain us for the long-term.

Many regions are experiencing the strain of water shortages

And as we remain in overshoot, we further erode the Earth's ability to support us.

Inevitably, our numbers will come down, whether voluntarily or through such natural means as famine or disease.

So what can get us out of this mess? First comes awareness. Those in a position to inform must shed fears of alarmism and embrace the truth.

More specifically, we need ecological awareness. For instance, we must "get" that we are just one among millions of interdependent species.

It's imperative we reduce personal resource consumption. The relocalisation movement promoted by those studying oil depletion is a powerful strategy in that regard.

We need a complete transition to clean, renewable energy. It can't happen overnight, but reliance on non-renewable energy is, by definition, unsustainable.

But there is a caveat: abundant clean energy alone will not end our problems. There remains population growth which increases consumption of resources other than energy.

The demand for more goods means we need more energy

We have to rethink the corporate economic growth imperative. On a finite planet, the physical component of economic growth cannot continue forever.

In fact, it has gone too far already. As a promising alternative, the field of ecological economics offers the "steady state economy".

We must end world population growth, then reduce population size. That means lowering population numbers in industrialised as well as developing nations.

Scientists point to the population-environment link. But today's environmentalists avoid the subject more than any other ecological truth. Their motives range from the political to a misunderstanding of the issue.

Neither justifies hiding the truth because total resource use is the product of population size and per capita consumption. We have no chance of solving our environmental predicament without reducing both factors in the equation.

Fortunately, expert consensus tells us we can address population humanely by solving the social problems that fuel it.

Implementing these actions will require us all to become activists, insisting our leaders base decisions not on corporate interests but on the health of the biosphere.

Let's make the effort for today's and tomorrow's children.

John Feeney PhD is an environmental writer and activist in Boulder, Colorado, US. His online project is growthmadness.org

The Green Room, Monday 5th November 2007
The Green Room is a series of opinion pieces on environmental topics running weekly on the BBC News website

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7078857.stm
 
gosh i was shocked at the poll choices... they all seem to be so PRO CHILD... like being child free is a curse or a disease!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! the question is - should the child free people forgive the ones with children? I don't see how you could even see "Selfish" as an option for the non breeding, freedom loving, perhaps even more responsible people who choose not to bring children into this world... have you had a look around? :confused::confused::confused:
they aren't pro child. they are things i have heard and read. its reality, baby, thats what people are thinking.
oh and... i like how people think that kids are supposed to be a ticket to fulfillment... haahah... if you are not fulfilled as is sounds to me like you have nothing to give to that child...

the person who started the poll - seems to me - jealous of child free people, judgmental, and probably somewhat miserable with major regrets and hence created a very strange view of things in order to justify their actions, position, and structure.
Furthermore... any idiot can make a baby... and it is sad that some do so before they have found any fulfillment on their own. to think that you could judge a person just because they don't want to make a baby... is actually hilarious in a sad kind of way. :confused:

Suparni don't you read anything carefully! The very first post talks about the website "no kidding" and how I am child free.
And besides the choices for voting are not strange views at all people LITERALLY will feel that way and voice it to me. Maybe you have been sheltered from reality. I am young and child free and I have no regrets of that so far! now i have to go to school. toodles!:guitar:

hey pregs, with the right amount of liquid benadryl, i can babysit ANYONE'S kids :p
 
Hey pregs, with the right amount of liquid benadryl, i can babysit ANYONE'S kids :p

You won't need the benadryl, they're fun. But I won't make you do it. I'm not bringing them to Philly or anything.

Seriously, I would love to be an aunt. My sister's having a baby. I'm kind of hoping it will be a girl, because I have only boys. It would be fun to buy pretty little dresses and sweaters and little mary jane sandals and comb her hair. Like a doll.

Or I could just go buy a doll.
 
You won't need the benadryl, they're fun. But I won't make you do it. I'm not bringing them to Philly or anything.

Seriously, I would love to be an aunt. My sister's having a baby. I'm kind of hoping it will be a girl, because I have only boys. It would be fun to buy pretty little dresses and sweaters and little mary jane sandals and comb her hair. Like a doll.

Or I could just go buy a doll.

I dunno, I get the feeling "they are fun" for some people and not others. Pregs you seem (at least to me) to have a bit more of the maternal instinct going on than many of the rest of us.

In regards to my being defensive, well - it was a stupid question if you ask me, the options for response seemed quite surprising and limited to me... thats all.

I don't necessarily feel pressure to have children, because at some point (after babysitting in fact) I found myself jumping for joy and relief that I am an aunt and not a mom... but yes, when I say "I am pretty sure that I do not want to have kids," the response from other women is soooo often the same thing... a little shocked jump in their energy and then the inevitable "Oh don't say that." As if I were saying some curse. And older men always say "Oh you still have time, how old are you?" At which point I am like :sick::sick::sick: always the same crap remarks.
thats all.
That is what it is like around here. Believe me, I know because I am a 31 year old female and baby free.... you never see that side of people and society because you did what they expect of you. That has been my experience so far with the vast majority of people on long island. NYC is a different story often.
 
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Suparni Maybe you have been sheltered from reality.

maybe - no er... obviously you don't know jack shit about me if you think I have been sheltered from reality. I am laughing out loud cause I wonder just how much of the world you have seen - while you run your mouth off suggesting that kind of thing. And I still think your poll options are twisted... and yes I did read it... maybe you just can't see it from any point of view but your own...

why do you think so many of the options got 0 votes? Because they are twisted and you seem to be the only one who could come up with those options - twisted.

and yes, I realize you are young - its obvious.
 
But she does not have children, I take it you mean Bogdana?

yes I realized that after I typed it but decided to keep it there because one does not have to have kids in order to be sculpted and influenced by that general mindset of society and the crowd. It is an unfortunate thing that these basic ideas are passed onto little children even... as our mothers buy us baby dolls to take care of in preparation and give boys toy soldiers and toy guns to play with in preparation.

It is a mindset that is completely influenced by a "preset" in us biologically so that we reproduce I would say... and that is obviously not needed as much as it once was.

One does not have to have kids to have been conditioned by this. (Its kind of like the working class republicans...)
 
maybe - no er... obviously you don't know jack shit about me if you think I have been sheltered from reality. I am laughing out loud cause I wonder just how much of the world you have seen - while you run your mouth off suggesting that kind of thing. And I still think your poll options are twisted... and yes I did read it... maybe you just can't see it from any point of view but your own...

why do you think so many of the options got 0 votes? Because they are twisted and you seem to be the only one who could come up with those options - twisted.

and yes, I realize you are young - its obvious.

well what other options would you have suggested?

bogs isnt really that much younger than you....
 
well what other options would you have suggested?

bogs isnt really that much younger than you....

I would not have suggested the poll at all... but clearly the options that got a 0 voting are not viable options are they?

In terms of my calling bogs young... read what she wrote to me? It was a response to her positioning herself as a young childfree person and then calling me sheltered. I don't think she sounds very expererienced and I don't think she should be running around calling me sheltered... thats all nugz.. nice of you to be concerned.

I don't like the poll at all actually... but the poll options about selfishness and missing out are clearly not balanced by something like "people who have children and can't afford them on so many levels weigh the society down and eventually drain my tax dollars" etc etc... because that is the other extreme.... and only one extreme is represented here... revealing the general mindset and influence of society on the person who made the poll... in my view.... and yes I will challenge that societal view... even if I like the person reflecting it... which I did until bogs decided that she would consider herself close enough to me that she could call me sheltered...
 
I would not have suggested the poll at all... but clearly the options that got a 0 voting are not viable options are they?

In terms of my calling bogs young... read what she wrote to me? It was a response to her positioning herself as a young childfree person and then calling me sheltered. I don't think she sounds very expererienced and I don't think she should be running around calling me sheltered... thats all nugz.. nice of you to be concerned.

I don't like the poll at all actually... but the poll options about selfishness and missing out are clearly not balanced by something like "people who have children and can't afford them on so many levels weigh the society down and eventually drain my tax dollars" etc etc... because that is the other extreme.... and only one extreme is represented here... revealing the general mindset and influence of society on the person who made the poll... in my view.... and yes I will challenge that societal view... even if I like the person reflecting it... which I did until bogs decided that she would consider herself close enough to me that she could call me sheltered...

i dunno. i think we just interpreted the options differently. i didnt get the impression that the person who started the poll was on the "wanting to have children" side. or at least saying in any way that having children is "the way to go." especially after reading the original post that went with it. i think maybe you are reading too much into it? i think its pretty obvious what the motive of this poll is, especially after reading through the whole thread. at least it is to me.
 
i've got a banana
 
whats wrong with you women? Bloody Smiths fans! Get breeding....look how funny they are!











hours of fun!!!!
 
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maybe - no er... obviously you don't know jack shit about me if you think I have been sheltered from reality. I am laughing out loud cause I wonder just how much of the world you have seen - while you run your mouth off suggesting that kind of thing. And I still think your poll options are twisted... and yes I did read it... maybe you just can't see it from any point of view but your own...

why do you think so many of the options got 0 votes? Because they are twisted and you seem to be the only one who could come up with those options - twisted.

and yes, I realize you are young - its obvious.
I never understood why people on here had distaste for you, but now I understand completely. You're the one 'running your mouth off' and I have reason to believe that most people who know me and then read what you say think you're making a bit of an ass out of yourself. jeebus. If you did some research on the subject just on the internet you'll see that people are taken aback by comments like "its selfish to not have children". its more common than you think.
i dunno. i think we just interpreted the options differently. i didnt get the impression that the person who started the poll was on the "wanting to have children" side. or at least saying in any way that having children is "the way to go." especially after reading the original post that went with it. i think maybe you are reading too much into it? i think its pretty obvious what the motive of this poll is, especially after reading through the whole thread. at least it is to me.
right on i was merely talking about the choice not to have children and how society views it.
Its hard to believe Suparni and I have the same view but she's trying to make me look bad?
i've got a banana
its better with peanut butter
 
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