Cemetry Gates

[Dupree]

The boy surprised me today with a trip to our local 'Cemetry Gates'. It was a pretty big-ass one. I'd never really walked around a cemetary before, I found it really interested and thought provoking. A nice 'I don't really mind that you like Moz way more than me and look, I'm trying to make an effort' gesture from the boy too.

The graves went back to 1846, I found the changes in styles of graves from that time onwards fascinating (haha, now I sound like a right weirdo!).

There were no graves of any one I knew there. In the end we spent over two hours just walking about and reading the grave stones. I kept expecting to feel a bit creeped out but I never did, it didn't feel weird at all.

Does anyone else take ocassional strolls through cemetaries?

Oh, the most gross thing was when we clambered out through a hole in the fence there were two used condoms and their packets strewed about over the floor. Now that I find just a teeny bit creepy. At least they were safe though!

It also got me to thinking - what songs would you have played at your funeral? I found it really hard to think of songs that weren't punny - You Have Killed Me, Lust For Life etc. I ended up deciding it'd be something but Grateful Dead but even their name is inappropriate.

Everyone will have to wear tie-dye at my funeral too.

 

[wolve]

I cannot imagine how people can possibly get satisfaction/joy from strolls through cemetaries. What were your thoughts, Dupree, when you were there? Were you thoughtless? Fooling around with the boy? Happy? Deadish?
Whenever I go to visit graves from relatives, I just don't feel at ease. Of course I 'pray' for a moment, but I don't like to be there among so many other unknown folks. (and I don't know why really)

 

[Dupree]

"I found it really interested and thought provoking" is what I said in the first post Wolve. Seeing all the untended graves made me wonder about the people who rested beneath. It made me think about how they had become unknown. It made me question whether I wanted to be buried when I die because I'd hate for that to happen to me (taking up space, that is, not being unknown).

I also thought about what the people who died would have made of the people who walked through the grave yard. It's on a large public common and we encountered a few dog walkers who were obviously not there to pay any respects and a few families, who I assume where off to the park. I was thinking about whether they (assuming they are in some after life) were just happy the place was still being used.

There were some military graves and a few large monuments to people who had died at sea. They were all imaculate, I put this down to Rememberance Day being a few weeks ago. Seeing them made me think of the old 'Dulce Et Decorum Est...' poem. Is dying for you country so great? Seeing graves of such young boys made me think possible not.

There was no fooling around, I can assure you - don't like the sound of that!

Seeing the 'Re-United' graves of partners did make me think about if he were to die first though. There was one where the woman died fifty years before the man. That poor bloke.

The main thing I thought about was who these people were. The people with the big angels and flamboyant decoration for example, would make me wonder about their lives and who loved them, who took care of their funeral arrangements etc. There were some graves for people from the 1800's that were clean, legible and had fresh flowers, I was very curious about these people. What connection was the person who tends the grave? Why do they come? I think the reason they interested me so much is that my family has no strong ties and so it's hard to imagine such a strong bond. It's basically just me, my mum and my dad. We don't see my mum's sisters often and we never see my two nans. I have no grandfathers (they didn't die, they just buggered off) and because of this I have very limited great-grandparents. I never see them either.

So in answer to your question, no, I wasn't thoughtless. Was I happy? Hmmm, I have to say, it had nothing to do with where I was but yes, I think I was.

EDIT: As I say before, I didn't really have any ill feeling being there. I expected to but I didn't. I can't really explain why.

 

[the more you explore me!]

i have a huge cementry right beside where i live, i have in the past walked around it or gone on a bike.
songs at my funeral would be My death: scott walker Funeral Tango: scott walker. the more you ignore me: Morrissey and as i want to be cremated Fire: the crazy world of arthur brown

 

[hatfull]

I like to walk through cemetrys, I've done it since I was a child. Music for my funeral... 'These Things Take Time', and I'm still thinking... I'll add to that...

 

[hatfull]

'Stretch Out and Wait', 'Jack the Ripper' and 'Shake the Disease' by Depeche Mode. There may be more...

 

[Pervomartovtsi]

I always go for dates to the general cematary of Santiago, I completely love it

 

[Chartres]

I dunno what to call it but others misery can make you feel relived, the greek tradgedy model if you know what I mean. Am tired so i the morning I'll probably sound terribly morbid.

 

[left out]

I like visiting cemetaries, whenever I go on holiday I try to take one in. It's fascinating how different the scripts, monuments, space, ostentation, simplicity varies according to country, religion, age of graves, etc.... even the trees and wildlife. I spent some time doing voluntary work clearing weeds in cemetaries earlier this year. Lovely.

They are also a great place to eat your lunch when travelling; peaceful after all the travel, noise, strangeness of new city...

Somewhere to contemplate and to chill, like the residents...

 

[wolve]

It made me question whether I wanted to be buried when I die because I'd hate for that to happen to me (taking up space, that is, not being unknown).

I don't know either if I want to be buried. It's just, I cannot imagine my grave, with flowers (or none!) and my name on a stone. Maybe cremating, but then there's nothing for my next of kin.

There were some military graves and a few large monuments to people who had died at sea. They were all imaculate, I put this down to Rememberance Day being a few weeks ago. Seeing them made me think of the old 'Dulce Et Decorum Est...' poem. Is dying for you country so great? Seeing graves of such young boys made me think possible not.

Here we have a lot of military graves. I've been there a few times (with a purpose) and I remember reading all the graves. There was a grave of a boy who was only 16. Imagine. I guess we all think of the "Dulce et Decorum" poem (from 'Owen', right?) then.

The main thing I thought about was who these people were. The people with the big angels and flamboyant decoration for example, would make me wonder about their lives and who loved them, who took care of their funeral arrangements etc. There were some graves for people from the 1800's that were clean, legible and had fresh flowers, I was very curious about these people. What connection was the person who tends the grave? Why do they come? I think the reason they interested me so much is that my family has no strong ties and so it's hard to imagine such a strong bond. It's basically just me, my mum and my dad. We don't see my mum's sisters often and we never see my two nans. I have no grandfathers (they didn't die, they just buggered off) and because of this I have very limited great-grandparents. I never see them either.

I have to confess: when I visit graves of relatives, I have the urge just to look around and read inscriptions. Sometimes there are truly beautiful words on it, but I wonder if it's serious. Also, I'm never at ease because I feel like an intruder between those graves. (oh, did you go when it was nighttime?)

So in answer to your question, no, I wasn't thoughtless. Was I happy? Hmmm, I have to say, it had nothing to do with where I was but yes, I think I was.

Because of the boy?

 

[hatfull]

I don't know either if I want to be buried. It's just, I cannot imagine my grave, with flowers (or none!) and my name on a stone. Maybe cremating, but then there's nothing for my next of kin.

It is still possible to have a tree planted for people to visit, and you can have small amouts of ashes blown into glass varses for people to have, which I think is a lovely idea.

 

[Kewpie]

It's slightly off-topic, the area of Japan where I'm from cremation wasn't common until 1960s.
Chauvinistic pigs insisted that cremation would lead curse and misfortune to the family, but women had to do all the dirty job:go to family mortuary, wash the bones and put them in an urn!
When my mother was 17 she lost her mother, she had to do this.

I discovered about it when I was 13 reading a newspaper serial of a woman who started the campaign to end unnecessary awful tradition and have cremation in 1950s.
I eternally grateful to her courageous act.

 

[Dupree]

I don't know either if I want to be buried. It's just, I cannot imagine my grave, with flowers (or none!) and my name on a stone. Maybe cremating, but then there's nothing for my next of kin.

In the past I'd always said that I wanted to be buried so the worms and bugs could eat me up and I could fade back in to the Earth and provide nutrition for a pretty tree or even some weeds but seeing the cemetary made me realise that's not a conventional burial.

A proper cemetery is cut off, tended and consecrated. Of course, they're full of yew trees too, which are poisonous to cattle to stop them grazing in the cemeteries. So it seems as if there's no real flow of energy in the way I was hoping for.

Maybe I need some kind of dodgy shallow grave in the New Forest.

(oh, did you go when it was nighttime?)

No, it was a 'dreaded' sunny day. A nice, bright Saturday afternoon after a leisurely pub lunch.

Because of the boy?

Absolutely.

EDIT: Kewpie, I never knew that kind of thing was still happening in the 20th century. Your mother must be a very strong woman, I don't think I could do that.

 

[half a person]

There's a cemetery not too far from where I live (well, there's two, but one's nicer than the other.) It's quite pretty really, with a bench under a tree. And it is interesting to look at all the different graves... but then maybe I'm a morbid, angsty teenager. Oh well.

 

[Lor]

I've walked around a couple of graveyards but the only one that's ever had any real effect on me has been one we visited on a school trip to France. It was from the War, and it was incredibly depressing to see rows upon rows of similar looking graves, many of which were unknown. The place really made me very very upset.

I've been in lots of churchyards and I've always found these fascinating. It's really quite interesting to try to make out all the inscriptions from way back, and it makes you so happy when you see a really really old grave from waaaaay back with flowers on it. Nice to know that people still care and all.

 

[hatfull]

I think mit is possible to be burried in a eco friendly ground now, with a cardboard coffin, and give things back to nature. That is what I am planning!

 

[Lor]

^^Oooh, I want that too!

 

[virtually dead]

I what to be put in a mausaleum (you know too well about my spelling), which is hideously selfish

 

[duchess_of_fork]

i live right next to a cemetery. it's kind of funny, i just got back from a stroll. today was really dull and gray and it reminded me of the Living Dead...you know the opening scene? I got a bit scared when I was walking through it..but then I laughed and fet better.

I find it soothing. Dead people can't judge. And I'm looking for a new name...so maybe I'll find a nice sounding one and borrow it from one of the dead folks...i'm sure they won't mind.

 

[hatfull]

^^Oooh, I want that too!

You can buy these buautiful cardbord coffins now that have huge flowers or any design you like put on them. They are quite expensive though. You can also get plain white ones, the idea being that everyone can stick their favourie photo of you on and write a message. I think it's such a lovely idea.