meat_is_murder19
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BRITAIN has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks - according to the BORING BELGIANS.
As tensions rise ahead of the vote for the EU Presidency, regional newspaper La Capitale listed ten reasons to hate Blighty to derail Tony Blair's bid for the job.
Other swipes made by the rag include slating our "warm beer which even the least gifted of our brewers would despair of".
They attacked us for driving on the left - claiming we want to do everything "differently" - and whined about England knocking Belgium out of the 1990 World Cup thanks to an extra-time winner from David Platt.
Continuing on the theme, the dullards say they haven't forgotten about our football hooligans.
Water joke ... Stella ArtoisAnd the paper even slates the English language.
While they grudgingly admit English is the universal language of business, they think we refuse to speak theirs if we get lost in Brussels, Liege or Charleroi.
To round off the attack, they say Brits look down on anyone who mispronounces a word in English.
But the ill feeling is mutual - here we bring you ten reasons why Belgium is rubbish.
1. THE MANNEKEN PIS: Belgium's most famous tourist attraction, a bronze fountain in Brussels dating back to 1618, is a statue of a toddler having a wee. Next...
2. CHARLEROI: Voted The World's Ugliest City this year, the industrial hovel actually offers a tour of its grottiest sites. It takes in a slag heap and sprawling wasteland. Look out for an upcoming feature in Sun Travel.
3. THERE IS ONLY ONE FAMOUS BELGIAN: Have a guess. No? Nothing? OK, OK... it's the Muscles From Brussels himself - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yep, their only famous person is a rubbish actor.
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4. THE EU HQ: Located in Brussels, we have the EU to thank for the banning of knobbly fruit and veg, the demise of pounds and ounces and ludicrous legal decisions because of the European Convention on Human Rights.
5. BRUSSELS SPROUTS: And they reckon our food is bad. Grown in the Brussels area for 400 years, the windy after-effects of this vile veg create more of a stink than the nearby EU HQ.
6. SPOILING STELLA ARTOIS: Belgians have ruined the best thing to come out of their country by watering it down from 5.2% alcohol to 5%. Watering down their lager, watering down our fun. Typical.
7. THEY ARE A JOKE: Even the humourless French have a laugh at Belgians. Their "les histoires Belges" gags about their dull neighbours are a bit like our "Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman" jokes.
Wee boy ... the Manneken Pis8. BELGIAN CONGO: Under the control of Belgium's ruthless King Leopold II, the Congo Free State became infamous for the brutal enslavement of locals when it was exposed by a British report in 1904.
9. STRAIGHT ROADS: They have suspiciously few curves on their long, tedious roads. To make matters worse, they drive on the right, which is of course the wrong side.
10. MUSKRATS: Amazingly, these water-dwelling giant rats are eaten in Belgium. Another example of wonderful Belgian cuisine.
P.S. We secretly want Belgian PM Herman Van Rompuy for EU President. Just think of the headlines we could create with a name like that...
from the sun
As tensions rise ahead of the vote for the EU Presidency, regional newspaper La Capitale listed ten reasons to hate Blighty to derail Tony Blair's bid for the job.
Other swipes made by the rag include slating our "warm beer which even the least gifted of our brewers would despair of".
They attacked us for driving on the left - claiming we want to do everything "differently" - and whined about England knocking Belgium out of the 1990 World Cup thanks to an extra-time winner from David Platt.
Continuing on the theme, the dullards say they haven't forgotten about our football hooligans.
Water joke ... Stella ArtoisAnd the paper even slates the English language.
While they grudgingly admit English is the universal language of business, they think we refuse to speak theirs if we get lost in Brussels, Liege or Charleroi.
To round off the attack, they say Brits look down on anyone who mispronounces a word in English.
But the ill feeling is mutual - here we bring you ten reasons why Belgium is rubbish.
1. THE MANNEKEN PIS: Belgium's most famous tourist attraction, a bronze fountain in Brussels dating back to 1618, is a statue of a toddler having a wee. Next...
2. CHARLEROI: Voted The World's Ugliest City this year, the industrial hovel actually offers a tour of its grottiest sites. It takes in a slag heap and sprawling wasteland. Look out for an upcoming feature in Sun Travel.
3. THERE IS ONLY ONE FAMOUS BELGIAN: Have a guess. No? Nothing? OK, OK... it's the Muscles From Brussels himself - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yep, their only famous person is a rubbish actor.
Advertisement
4. THE EU HQ: Located in Brussels, we have the EU to thank for the banning of knobbly fruit and veg, the demise of pounds and ounces and ludicrous legal decisions because of the European Convention on Human Rights.
5. BRUSSELS SPROUTS: And they reckon our food is bad. Grown in the Brussels area for 400 years, the windy after-effects of this vile veg create more of a stink than the nearby EU HQ.
6. SPOILING STELLA ARTOIS: Belgians have ruined the best thing to come out of their country by watering it down from 5.2% alcohol to 5%. Watering down their lager, watering down our fun. Typical.
7. THEY ARE A JOKE: Even the humourless French have a laugh at Belgians. Their "les histoires Belges" gags about their dull neighbours are a bit like our "Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman" jokes.
Wee boy ... the Manneken Pis8. BELGIAN CONGO: Under the control of Belgium's ruthless King Leopold II, the Congo Free State became infamous for the brutal enslavement of locals when it was exposed by a British report in 1904.
9. STRAIGHT ROADS: They have suspiciously few curves on their long, tedious roads. To make matters worse, they drive on the right, which is of course the wrong side.
10. MUSKRATS: Amazingly, these water-dwelling giant rats are eaten in Belgium. Another example of wonderful Belgian cuisine.
P.S. We secretly want Belgian PM Herman Van Rompuy for EU President. Just think of the headlines we could create with a name like that...
from the sun
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